Who We Are Releases and the Bad Poetry Contest Winners!

It's release day, folks!  The sequel to Bear, Otter, and the Kid is now available from Dreamspinner Press (amazon appears to currently being a bitch, so you can't download the kindle version from Amazon, but you can still purchase from DSP's site and add it to your kindle).  The reviews so far have been crazy awesome, so I think people are pleased with the next step for the boys.

Dreamspinner link to buy WWA

As you probably saw from the video above, the Bad Poetry Contest winners have been decided.  Congrats to Lauren, Lloyd, and Lannie! (and I just noticed those are all "L" names--CONSPIRACY!!!!)  I'm going to post the winners poems below, and then over the course of the next week, I'll release a few more poems that I really liked.

Thanks again to my judges, Jamie, Jo, and Arvin.  You guys are seriously badass.  And thanks to EVERYONE that entered.  I couldn't believe the response I got for this, and I hope you all had a blast with it!

Feel free to let  me know what you think of Who We Are!!

Much love,

TJ

Lauren's Poem, 3rd place:

My bad poem

The Kid would likely call me a barbarian,

Because I’m, by no means a vegetarian.

He would say, “As a cow and chicken consumer

You might get Mad Cow or a massive brain tumor.”

Cause the Kid’s a genius and most likely correct,

A doctor I should see, my health he can inspect.

After school and the doctor my savings deflated,

I regret thinking insurance was overrated.

And now I am broke with debts so large,

Can I please have the book free of charge?

Lloyd's poem, 2nd place:

That Badger

I have an love that might disturb and amaze, 
But my affair with e-ink is more than just a phase.
And so it is with such an indomitable swagger
That to win this contest I shall bugger a badger

I'm sure you'll get poems of charming,  gentle breeze,

of poofy shirts and rivers that run to sunless seas.

Others may wax lyrical of bears, kids and otters

Though, obviously, of these you've written a lotters.

 

Some may praise and flatter your books,

some may talk about your stunning good looks.

Others may grovel and brownnose  to win,

(I wonder how many will say you look like Tin-Tin.)

 

Although in stark terror, lesser men may flee,

when they will hear that badger squealing with glee

But I'm sure that you're made of much sterner stuff,

In fact, the word on the street is you like it a bit rough.

 

So I have made my case.  See, I'm not at all cool.

My love of e-ink can make me a fool.

However, I do have an admission to the judges that hold sway,

I'll probably bugger that fucking badger anyway.

Lannie's poem, 1st place

Why Should Lannie Win This Contest Above Anyone Else?

So I’m minding my own bizness and come across a vid

Where random dude was talking about Bear, Otter, and some Kid

Yapping about some contest where bad poetry is the goal

Why anyone would want that, pshhh,…I don’t even know

Spiked hair dude in red suspenders was kinda hot

So I ponder, why not?  I’ll give it a shot

How hard could it be to impress some judge quick?

Even Judge Arvin, a.k.a. “Sex-on-a-Stick”

Mayhap I could bribe if I thought none would tell

A round of drinks for all judges I see at GRL?

Come on, don’t be like that, you know that I joke

Would I try to corrupt such, good, honest folk?

So to win I must convince you my reasons the best

My cause must outshine the needs of the rest

But how to convince in 5 stanzas or less?

Without sexual favors it’s hard to impress

Lannie must win this, need you ask why?

Is it because, with a loss, heart-broken I’ll die?

No, to come correct I must speak it true

Because I like free shit more than him, her, or you!