tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28546977906047046752024-02-20T23:15:14.836-08:00A Fistful of AwesomeThe Musings of a Random ManTJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-2402981115655864502016-06-04T08:39:00.000-07:002016-06-04T08:39:03.435-07:00The blog is closed!I have a new blog on my website www.tjklunebooks.com.<br />
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TjTJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-70829188390706569252016-04-20T13:47:00.003-07:002016-04-20T13:47:44.598-07:00The Joys of Crack and Dust Or, Why I went Apocalyptic<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikXmg4CRuIK0MyMD2hzYXJBi7NRcqvlhqgNFZgB3PM8-ZujKJWUy9g5MEJurOaUVN_L9W55LxV_SvdoLKObcTMplO-2Jw2F90CxTXmNnpcVd8FQGmhejg-5CMhhS0yAU0USQd4bfc1m2Jg/s1600/BLOG+TOUR+BANNER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikXmg4CRuIK0MyMD2hzYXJBi7NRcqvlhqgNFZgB3PM8-ZujKJWUy9g5MEJurOaUVN_L9W55LxV_SvdoLKObcTMplO-2Jw2F90CxTXmNnpcVd8FQGmhejg-5CMhhS0yAU0USQd4bfc1m2Jg/s320/BLOG+TOUR+BANNER.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> (<i>Note: This post was supposed to appear on another blog as part of the Withered + Sere blog tour, but since the blog never wrote me back and never posted it, I'm doing it here. What can you do?</i>) </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I did something no one else has ever
done.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wrote a book set in a
post-apocalyptic future.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I know, I know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You’re in awe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tj!</i>
you’re thinking. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How did you come up with
such a novel idea</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And therein lies the problem.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Post-apocalyptic, dystopian futures,
all of this has been done before. It’s like that saying goes, that there’s
nothing new under the sun. Tropes are tropes for a reason. Look at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Hunger Games</i>. Look at the video game
series <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fallout</i>. Look at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mad Max</i>. Or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I Am Legend.</i> Or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The 100</i>.
Or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Book of Eli. Dawn of the Dead. Battle
Royale. The Road</i> (which, if you haven’t read this book by Cormac McCarthy,
do it. It’s one of the best things <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i>).<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> 28 Days Later</i>. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Stand</i> (Stephen King’s best work, in my opinion). <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Resident Evil</i>. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Last of Us.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Whether it be nuclear bombs, or
disease, or zombies, or humanity’s rage, the world falls, civilization
crumbles, and we are left with little pockets of humanity across a scarred
landscape who are usually embroiled in a battle against Forces of Evil (i.e.
new government, old government, crazy motherfuckers, zombies, crazy
motherfucking zombies).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So it’s all be done before. It
really, really has.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And here I was, a writer of cracky
man love who sometimes who could write angst, comedy, drama, and who
occasionally dabbled into something darker. Here I was, thinking, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">okay, but if it’s all been done before,
could I actually do something that was any different?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I knew, going into writing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Withered + Sere</i>, that it was going to be
a massive undertaking. This world I created would be large, and would be
populated by good people and evil people, and people whose moral compasses were
firmly planted in the gray. I also knew going into it, that the only way I’d
actually be able to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> this
post-apocalyptic story would be if I could put my own unique spin on it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s be real. There are people out
there who’ve written stories about the end of the world that are far better
writers than I could ever hope to be. I know this. I understand this. I don’t
know if I could ever even be even remotely close to their level. But it didn’t
stop me from trying.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted to see what happened if I
ended the world. If civilization <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i>
crumble, if billions of people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i>
die, what would I do with what remained? Would I have anything new to add?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think I did. I hoped I did. I
don’t mean that to sound conceited or self-involved, either. Honestly. Given
that this was so far from anything I’d ever done before, I knew that I needed
to end the world in a way that was distinctly Klune but not devolving into the
crack that I’m known to write. The dialogue here is sparse because the main
character, Cavalo, doesn’t like to talk much. He doesn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i> to talk much. The other main character, Lucas, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t</i> talk, given some mysterious injury
he’d sustained sometime in the past.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I love dialogue. I love writing
people talking and snarking back and forth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I love it so much, that to make this
story different than anything I’d done before, I didn’t allow myself to fall
back into the slinging of words. By taking away one character’s ability to
speak at all, it forced me to find other ways to communicate, to relay the
story without the crutch of vocalizing my point. And I did, though it was in
ways I wasn’t expecting when I first started, and I like to think it adds
another layer to the story, that it leaves it up to the reader to decide if
Cavalo is actually having the conversations he thinks he’s having, or if it’s
just a product of his imagination, that he’s getting response he’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thinking</i> he should get.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, of course, there’s the end of
the world. The landscape, the remains of what once was. When you have a
post-apocalyptic story, one of the most important characters you can have is
the landscape. Is there the futuristic sheen of a dystopian society? Or is
there the grunge and grime of a ravaged society?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted to go with the grunge and
the grime. I wanted to get motherfucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dirty</i>
in this book. By the time the W+S and its sequel, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crisped + Sere,</i> are finished, I wanted the reader to feel the dirt
under their fingernails, the dust in their throat. The setting is as important
as the main characters, because if the setting isn’t believable, then it runs
the risk of ruining the story as a whole.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had fun with this, creating this
dirty, dirty world. The landscape is dotted with hints of the past, from burn
out husks of cars and billboards for personal injury attorneys, to the way the
people who remain live their lives.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that, to me, is the crux of
these two books. The reader is told at the beginning that a hundred years have
passed since the world ended. The idea that I couldn’t shake while writing this
would be how would those people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">live</i>
their lives? Would they act completely different than we do today? Or would
they still cling to what they’d been taught by those who came before them? We
are ingrained with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">years</i> on how a
human being should act. I find it fascinating to think about how people would
attempt to go on with business as usual, even if they don’t necessarily
understand <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why</i> they think that. It’s
what they were taught by those who came before them. Those people were taught
by those who came before <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">them</i>, and
those are the ones that lived and loved in a bright and shiny world, and they
passed down their traditions and mannerisms, and I think that those things
would continue, even after the world ended. We act as we were taught. Yes, we
learn from new experiences, but we are still human, and there are centuries of
life before us that we draw from. We do the things we do because we were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">taught</i> how to do them, even if we don’t
realize it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So. I hope you’re ready to get down
and dirty with me. Because we’re about to crawl through the mud.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Withered
+ Sere Blurb:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Once
upon a time, humanity could no longer contain the rage that swelled within, and
the world ended in a wave of fire. <br />
<br />
One hundred years later, in the wasteland formerly known as America, a broken
man who goes only by the name of Cavalo survives. Purposefully cutting himself
off from what remains of civilization, Cavalo resides in the crumbling ruins of
the North Idaho Correctional Institution. A mutt called Bad Dog and a robot on
the verge of insanity comprise his only companions. Cavalo himself is
deteriorating, his memories rising like ghosts and haunting the prison cells. <br />
<br />
It’s not until he makes the dangerous choice of crossing into the irradiated
Deadlands that Cavalo comes into contact with a mute psychopath, one who
belongs to the murderous group of people known as the Dead Rabbits. Taking the
man prisoner, Cavalo is forced not only to face the horrors of his past, but
the ramifications of the choices made for his stark present. And it is in the
prisoner that he will find a possible future where redemption is but a glimmer
that darkly shines. <br />
<br />
The world has died. <br />
<br />
This is the story of its remains.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Available
at:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Dreamspinner
Press Publications: </span><a href="https://www.dsppublications.com/books/withered-sere-by-tj-klune-240-b"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">https://www.dsppublications.com/books/withered-sere-by-tj-klune-240-b</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Amazon: </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Withered-Sere-Immemorial-Year-Book-ebook/dp/B01DL351LU"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">http://www.amazon.com/Withered-Sere-Immemorial-Year-Book-ebook/dp/B01DL351LU</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Barnes and Noble: </span><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/withered-sere-tj-klune/1123602027?ean=2940157776459"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/withered-sere-tj-klune/1123602027?ean=2940157776459</span></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Withered + Sere Blog
Tour:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 12 - MM Good Book Reviews</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 13- My Fiction Nook</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 18 - Just Love Romance </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 19 - Divine Magazine </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 19 - Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 19 - The Novel Approach </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><strike>April 20 - Kimi-chan Experience</strike> ?????????????????</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 21 - It's About the Book </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 21 - Love Bytes </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">April 22 - Prism Book Alliance </span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-77618686123895951182016-04-19T05:42:00.001-07:002016-04-19T06:07:17.470-07:00Withered + Sere Releases!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTnNeiV46T1Canusp-KrNBvkpRV-SGJnWVnnhwrr9QWSPQetAdgcomAVChh-hvBQKzvUCLjA_A0IgNPf-9ZCELIvYlCSdyxCx-qaWMcqZm7Gjv4gHcVRH0bR7W3COPvBjWg_5hlYOPUWP/s1600/Withered%252BSere_FBbanner_DSPP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBTnNeiV46T1Canusp-KrNBvkpRV-SGJnWVnnhwrr9QWSPQetAdgcomAVChh-hvBQKzvUCLjA_A0IgNPf-9ZCELIvYlCSdyxCx-qaWMcqZm7Gjv4gHcVRH0bR7W3COPvBjWg_5hlYOPUWP/s400/Withered%252BSere_FBbanner_DSPP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Withered + Sere</i> is out today!<br />
<br />
*confetti and junk*<br />
<br />
This book (and it's sequel, <i>Crisped + Sere</i>, out in August) has taken up the last three years of my life. I am so please to finally see it published, and can't wait for you all to read it.<br />
<br />
So!<br />
<br />
Here is where you can buy it:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.dsppublications.com/books/withered-sere-by-tj-klune-240-b" target="_blank">Dreamspinner Press Publications</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Withered-Sere-Immemorial-Year-Book-ebook/dp/B01DL351LU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1459471510&sr=8-1&keywords=withered+%2B+sere" target="_blank">Amazon</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/withered-sere" target="_blank">Kobo</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/withered-sere-tj-klune/1123602027?ean=2940157776459" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/withered-+-sere/id1098997768?mt=11&ign-mpt=uo%3D4" target="_blank">iTunes</a><br />
<br />
Also! There are several stops on a blog tour today, involving myself and Blake Dorner, the illustrator for W+S.<br />
<br />
They are:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.thenovelapproachreviews.com/guest-post-withered-sere-by-tj-klune/" target="_blank">Older Man/Younger Man at Novel Approach</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://divinemagazine.net/withered-sere-by-tj-klune/" target="_blank">The Artwork of Withered + Sere: Illustrator Blake Dorner</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://scatteredthoughtsandroguewords.com/?p=28085" target="_blank">Excerpt at Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkG4jdlOxHE0PxHbzJCap9uLZRij2z6VhpbwRmoRmAOFF_EYSNe38QWNgntBQUnh9qSHZDw08PKWCHp5UWtE_sXD6SU2XiixC2DefzMx74wdM2HTpzK2Wdo0G_Tf6S-Lo-qGlF9MUQ5OEC/s1600/Group+Photo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkG4jdlOxHE0PxHbzJCap9uLZRij2z6VhpbwRmoRmAOFF_EYSNe38QWNgntBQUnh9qSHZDw08PKWCHp5UWtE_sXD6SU2XiixC2DefzMx74wdM2HTpzK2Wdo0G_Tf6S-Lo-qGlF9MUQ5OEC/s640/Group+Photo.png" width="412" /></a></div>
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I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for supporting my work!<br />
<br />
Tj<br />
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<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-27559514432648879582016-03-26T07:22:00.000-07:002016-04-07T20:46:02.989-07:00What's Next; Or, How I'm About To Go Dark<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1vTUctnksKPAOvrenMYF-HXB3VTabKO_ghFo7yDxc6T6VNxXYD2EbHzFk7S5DF3pSKB22c5GiY7_TPSJ-y5ka99xhH74tgRqeRdykarHwImMA-INkS3LqFMQdkajoOG-BZVYFOp9AeCcO/s1600/Withered%252BSere_FBbanner_DSPP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1vTUctnksKPAOvrenMYF-HXB3VTabKO_ghFo7yDxc6T6VNxXYD2EbHzFk7S5DF3pSKB22c5GiY7_TPSJ-y5ka99xhH74tgRqeRdykarHwImMA-INkS3LqFMQdkajoOG-BZVYFOp9AeCcO/s400/Withered%252BSere_FBbanner_DSPP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
Can we all agree that I know comedy?<br />
<br />
That's not meant to sound like I'm bragging. It's really not. I can be funny. I can write funny stories. I have an ear for whip crack dialogue and snark. I like it. I like being able to make people laugh. I love having people feel the warm fuzzies when they read my books.<br />
<br />
The last three books I've released were part of what I considered to be my "Happiness Trilogy." <i>The Lightning Struck-Heart</i>, <i>How to Be a Normal Person, </i>and <i>The Queen & the Homo Jock King</i> were all exactly what I needed at the time. I needed to find a reason to laugh again, to find a reason to feel good about my writing again. And what better way than to feel good than by doing something I was good at?<br />
<br />
I am good at comedy.<br />
<br />
Which is why I had three comedic books in a row come out.<br />
<br />
They are safe, because I know people like my sense of humor. There's really little risk involved, especially when <i>Queen</i> was a sequel to one of my biggest sellers, and <i>Lightning</i> had a gay sassy unicorn. <i>Normal</i> was probably riskier than the other two, given that it dealt with asexuality, something that I was surprised to find not a lot of people had heard of before.<br />
<br />
Regardless, they were safe. <i>I</i> was safe.<br />
<br />
But that's over now.<br />
<br />
My next four books are decidedly <i>not</i> comedies. Oh, sure, they have comedic touches to them, but comedy is not the focal point of the books. Yes, they are all romances, but I went in a different direction.<br />
<br />
Some of my readers, especially the newer ones, probably don't know that I can go dark when I need to. It's been almost years since I've released anything that wasn't tonally comedic or family angst. In 2013, I released <i>Into This River I Drown</i>, which would go onto win the Lambda Literary Award for best gay romance the following year. A little after that, John & Jackie was released as part of anthology, and then again on its own two years ago.<br />
<br />
Comedy comes easy for me. And I'm sure I could safely rest in a little comedic nest and write nothing but and be okay with it.<br />
<br />
The <i>problem</i> with that is that I never want to be just<i> okay</i> with something. Writing is about growth and maturity. I always want to find ways to stretch the boundaries of what I'm capable of. I don't want to write just comedy because after a while, I'd get bored of it. And lazy which, in my opinion, is the worst thing a writer could become. When an author doesn't take chances with the types of stories they write, they run the risk of phoning it in. Readers can tell that shit, and I don't ever want to be accused of being a lazy writer.<br />
<br />
<i>Withered + Sere</i> and <i>Crisped + Sere</i> are the results of that need, that desire to expand on what I'm capable of. Originally written as one story, it became too big for a single novel, which is why I split it into two. These books <i>are</i> a romance, but it is a slow burn (shocker, I know, coming from me), so it will be spread out over two books. In fact, the plan there is to have four books altogether, so it will continue on in them as well. I want to keep as much as I can under wraps about these books, but I will say that W+S and C+S comprise a beginning, middle, and end. There is resolution reached. It comes out April 19th. Book II resolves most everything in Book I and comes out in August. Promotion for this is going to kick off starting in the next week or two, so look forward to that.<br />
<br />
(also, both these books are illustrated, and Jesus Fucking Christ, are the illustrations amazing.)<br />
<br />
<i>Wolfsong</i> comes out June 20th and just might be the angstiest thing I've ever written (and yeah, I realize that I am the author of the BOATK books and River, so take that for what it is). It also happens to be about werewolves. I don't even know. One day, I sat down at my computer and thought, huh, what subgenre could I try next? Then I started writing, and by the time I'd finished, I'd somehow come up with a decade spanning novel of love and loss, of betrayal and heartbreak. And werewolves (still not sure how that part came to be). It's the story of Ox and Joe, but it also is about family and the choices we make, and how far we go to protect the ones we love. There will be so much Wookie Cry Face. I'm not even joking. You'll get your happy ending, but holy shit am I going to make you work for it.<br />
<br />
And then in October (maybe November?) is <i>Murmuration. </i>A murmuration is a flock of starlings that fly in these extraordinary clouds of <i>thousands</i> of birds, like this:<br />
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If you've never seen them in flight, I would recommend going to YouTube and looking it up. It's absolutely insane to see, and thematically, it represents what this novel is. I am going to keep as much of this book a secret as I can. Not because I'm a dick (well, <i>maybe</i> a bit of a dick,) but because I don't want <i>any</i> spoilers about this book to somehow get out. It's the most romantic thing I've written. It's also the most fucked up. By the end, I will have shattered your heart and put it back together, even though a few of the pieces might be missing. <br />
<br />
And even <i>Destiny of Dragons</i>, the sequel to <i>Lightning</i>, isn't <i>just</i> a comedy. Sam, like my writing, needs to grow up. <i>Lightning</i>, to me, always had a razor's edge laying under the candy-pop Technicolor sunshine that was the world I'd created. It was sass and snark, but it always seemed just a hop, skip and jump away from becoming a little darker, which is what I tried to do with it. I could have easily just written another straight forward sequel to Lightning, but I think I owe you more than that.<br />
<br />
I don't want to be a lazy writer.<br />
<br />
I don't ever want to phone it in.<br />
<br />
Which is why we're going into the dark now.<br />
<br />
So I can show you what I'm capable of.<br />
<br />
Don't worry, though.<br />
<br />
It'll be all right.<br />
<br />
Mostly.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Withered + Sere Pre-Order: <a href="https://www.dsppublications.com/books/withered-sere-by-tj-klune-240-b" target="_blank">Click Here!</a><br />
<br />Add on GR: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28507063-withered-sere" target="_blank">Click Here!</a><br /><br />
Wolfsong on GR: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29233804-wolfsong?from_new_nav=true&ac=1&from_search=true" target="_blank">Click Here!</a><br />
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<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-48518294913526497362016-02-27T07:09:00.000-08:002016-02-27T07:09:36.653-08:00Pre-Release Thoughts on The Queen & the Homo Jock King<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hate fake/pretend relationships.
Honestly, in books, in movies, anytime the focal point of the plot is a pretend
relationship between the main characters, it’s usually a turn off. And the reason
for the fakeness is typically ludicrous, and I tend to roll my eyes at it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hate enemies to lovers stories
too, because of that first word<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> enemies</i>.
I don’t like reading books where the MC’s and love interests are mean to each
other. There’s a line between snark and vitriol, and I tend to not gravitate toward
the actual meanness. I like it when people actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">like</i> each other, you know?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hate miscommunication in books.
Sure, if done well, it can add a layer to the plot, but most of the time, I
just want to punch the characters in the face and demand that they talk to each
other like adults and to cut that shit out. They <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> adults, right? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t care if a book has detailed
sex scenes or not. If it did, I tend to skip over the sex scene because it’s
something I’ve read before. Sex is sex is sex. I’ve had it. I know how it
works. Given that I’m asexual, I’m not titillated by erotica, nor do I really
even care for it. Sex scenes aren’t important to me. Great, it shows one man
can put his dick in another man’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>butt,
but come on. Show me the connection in other ways.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why am I telling you all this?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because I am a fucking tangle of
contradictions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The sequel to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me It’s Real</i> comes out on February 29<sup>th</sup>, 2016. It’s
called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Queen & the Homo Jock King.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s also a book that’s about
enemies who enter into a pretend relationship for ludicrous reasons whose
attraction to each other is hampered by miscommunication until they eventually
become lovers and have the raunchiest sex out of any book I’d ever written.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>*Sigh*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I know, I know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tj,</i>
you’re saying. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh, Tj. You’re just a big
ol’ mess, aren’t you?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Mostly. But that’s okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s be honest here. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me It’s Real</i> was never going to be
high literature. I never intended it to be. The reason TMIR existed at all was
because I was tired of the shirtless torso covered books where everyone had a
fucking ten inch dick and could come buckets in assholes and with their manpain
and their gay for you, blah blah blah.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted to write about normal
people. People who might not be the smartest or the coolest or the most
attractive. Where were the overweight dudes and why didn’t they get the jocks?
Where were the drag queens and why didn’t they get Twu Wuv?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s the big reason for TMIR. To
have gay people who could be real fall in love with each other.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s not meant to be an admonition
against anyone or any other author. That is also not me thinking I’m better
than any other author out there. I’m not. By far. But TMIR was born out of
frustration that maybe gay dudes were getting lost in the romantic fantasy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And so TMIR came out. And blew up,
both with the good and the bad. It sold a lot. Thanks. It brought up a lot of
discussion. Thanks for that too. I liked that book quite a bit. Still do, in
fact. I might even love it, a little.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which is partly why it took so long
to write the sequel, even though one was practically handed to me on a silver
platter because of Sandy and Darren. Even though they only had a few scenes
together, they just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sparked</i> for me,
and I knew there was a story there, about why they hated each other like they
did. But when one book is a success like TMIR is, it can be intimidating to
write a follow up. What if it’s not as good? What if people don’t like it as
much? What if they hate it and it lessens their enjoyment of the first book?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you think about it, and it may
seem surprising, I’ve only ever published two sequels. And it’s for the same
series, the Bear, Otter and the Kid books.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it was while in the third book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Art of Breathing</i>, that Kori/Corey
appeared, and suddenly we were in Tucson and Paul and Vince and Sandy and
Darren were there and I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">overjoyed</i>,
because that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wasn’t</i> planned. At least
not initially. But I thought Kori/Corey would fit in with the Tucson crew, and
wouldn’t that just be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">neat</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I knew then, what they story
would be, once I finished <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Breathing</i>.
But then life went to hell for a long time, and when I got back to writing
again, I wrote new stuff instead of focusing on the told. And honestly, that’s
really the reason BOATK4 hasn’t been finished yet, because I’ve wanted to
expand my horizons, test the limits of my capabilities.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Until I sat down one day and
thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m ready to write about some
motherfucking drag queens</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then proceeded to write in
tropes that I usually avoid like the plague. Why? Because it was fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fun</i>. God, I had so much fun writing this
book. First and foremost, just being back with Paul and Sandy was one of the
greatest joys I’ve had writing. Their friendship is what I think a perfect
friendship should be: they give each other shit, they love each other fiercely,
and they are always there to scratch someone’s eyes for the other if need be.
So while the book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> the romance
between Sandy and Darren, Paul and Sandy’s friendship is a major part of it
too. And Vince, of course, sweet and lovable Vince who I want to put in my
pocket and keep safe forever. And then there’s the added dynamic of Corey/Kori,
the bi-gendered queer who was like a missing piece in the puzzle of the dynamic
between these people. Seriously, Kori/Corey fit so well that even I was
surprised. I didn’t have to make any real changes to the character seen in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Breathing</i>, even if that book had a much
angstier setting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So I faked the relationship between
these enemies to lovers. I had them misunderstand each other, because are they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> the enemies they think they are?
(Hint: no, they’re not.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That just left the sex.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sandy is an experienced gay man.
Darren is an experienced gay man.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They both like to fuck.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So I wrote the longest, most
involved sex scene I’ve ever written, because I thought it felt right for the
characters. I won’t do this for every book. I may never do it again for another
book. The only reason this one is as explicit as it is, is because it adds to the
dynamic of who these two are. It’s meant to progress the story forward, to show
them finally coming together after all this time. And there is a scene in here
in which they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t</i> have sex that I
consider to be the most erotic thing I’ve ever written. You’ll know it when you
get to it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, as you probably can tell, I
love drag queens. I love them for their spirit, their originality, their fierce
determination, their drive to get up in front of crowds and perform their
fucking hearts out. Some of the greatest people I know are queens, and you’ll
see in the dedication that this book is for two very specials queens in my
life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typical questions:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is
there Wookie Cry Face?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Maybe. If there is, it won’t be as
much as any of my other books.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What
level of crack is this?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>More than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Normal Person</i>, less than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lightning
Struck Heart</i>. About the same as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">TMIR</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How
long is it?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">160K words, a bit longer than TMIR.</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Do Tyson or Bear or anyone from BOATK make an appearance?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By name only. I had a small scene with
the Kid but it was cut during edits, because it didn’t do anything for the
book, and ended up being more fan service than anything. I might release it
later on as a freebie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is
there going to be another book in the series?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes. Kori/Corey will be the lead
character, which, having a transgendered main character in a romantic comedy is
something I am so excited to be writing about.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">TJ
KLUNE. WHERE IS BOATK4 AND BURN2, OMFG!!!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>2017.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m sorry it’s taken this long to
get here. I know three years can be a long time to wait between books. I don’t
plan on it taking that long again, but things happen. There are times books
just can’t wait to be written (100K words on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lightning 2</i>, WTF), and other times I’m just not ready. If I haven’t
written a follow up yet it’s because I’m not ready. I would rather wait until I
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am </i>ready rather than force out a
shitty book and publish it. You deserve me giving you the best to my ability.
Will you always like it? No, of course not. That’s not possible. But I thank
you for reading it anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I can’t wait for you to read about a
Queen <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">finally</i> getting her King.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">PRE-ORDER LINKS:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=7482" target="_blank">Dreamspinner!</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Homo-Jock-First-Sight-ebook/dp/B01BO5LXK0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456585485&sr=8-1&keywords=tj+klune]" target="_blank">Amazon!</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-queen-the-homo-jock-king-tj-klune/1123401982?ean=9781634768016" target="_blank">B&N!</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a href="https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thequeenthehomojockking-1980479-149.html" target="_blank">All Romance!</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-51228485253926499352016-02-13T08:37:00.001-08:002016-02-13T08:43:31.956-08:00First Two Chapters of Queen!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIifnf3KuguC1fcWTge0OwDcCNAjlGxoW3X0ZJCAkaC744lhYjJGZsfHzhNQYtNQwKADLvAMz7tYxOfU_AZJPy4MfXdNjO9uf97f_wtqlbSpLVDiBBC7jLyrViTzJQB4qZpaLx_mnHqics/s1600/TheQueen%2526theHomoJockKing_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIifnf3KuguC1fcWTge0OwDcCNAjlGxoW3X0ZJCAkaC744lhYjJGZsfHzhNQYtNQwKADLvAMz7tYxOfU_AZJPy4MfXdNjO9uf97f_wtqlbSpLVDiBBC7jLyrViTzJQB4qZpaLx_mnHqics/s400/TheQueen%2526theHomoJockKing_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Dudes. You guys are ridiculous. The Queen & the Homo Jock King is not even <i>out</i> yet, and you've already put it in the top ten on boy DSP's and Amazon's bestseller lists from the pre-orders alone. I'm so fortunate to have readers like you all who get just as excited about these characters as I do. I know it's taken three years to get here, but I think it'll have been worth the wait once you get your hands on the book on February 29th.<br />
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So! As a thank you, I give you the first two chapters of Queen. This will be all that I release in relation to excerpts until the book comes out. There are no spoilers here, as it's mainly a reintroduction to the characters. Something you might have noticed is how I've kept anything have to do with Darren to a minimum. Every post I've done, every little snippet I've released has usually not had him at all, or he only speaks a line or two. That has been intentional. I want people to be surprised by his character, so I've held everything about him back. He's a goddamn dick, but I love him, and I think you will to.<br />
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Anywho!<br />
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I'll do my usual pre-release thoughts on the book in another week or so, but until then, I hope you enjoy this first real look at the sequel to Tell Me It's Real, The Queen & the Homo Jock King.<br />
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Tj<br />
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Pre-Order Amazon: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Homo-Jock-First-Sight-ebook/dp/B01BO5LXK0/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Homo-Jock-First-Sight-ebook/dp/B01BO5LXK0/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8</a><br />
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Pre-Order DSP: <a href="http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=7482" target="_blank">http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=7482</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Prologue</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Lulu Deerdancer and Buster Cleveland</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I WAS seventeen when I realized I
was destined to be a queen.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because that’s when I met a legend.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’d heard of the club down on 4th
Avenue in Tucson. A gay club where apparently men could dance and drink and be
happy without fear of any kind of judgment. Such a place sounded like a haven
to me, especially coming off the year that I’d had, what with my parents dying,
the parents of my best friend taking me in, and coming out with a vengeance.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Naturally, I convinced said best
friend, Paul Auster, to come with me. It wasn’t that hard.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Are you <i>sure</i> this is going
to work?” he grumbled at me as we walked down the sidewalk late one Saturday
night. It was early October and the night was still warm.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I smirked at him. “Oh, ye of little
faith. Trust me, we’ll be just fine.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah, but it’s a <i>bar</i>. And
we’re not twenty-one.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hence the disguises,” I reminded
him.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I had done my research before
deciding to attempt to get into Jack It about the specific subsections of the
gay community. Paul, being the huskier of the two of us, would be more suited
as a leather cub. He wore chaps we’d found at a Goodwill and a leather vest.
I’d learned that cubs (who often grew up to be bears) were of a hairy sort. But
Paul was as hairless as they came, much to his chagrin (“I’m a late bloomer,
goddammit!”). So rather than taking the chance of being found out because of
his baby-ass skin, we’d covered him up with a shirt that said <i>GRR, DADDY</i>
and found a fake mustache from a costume store. Aviator sunglasses completed
the outfit, because it was understood that if you were cool enough to be a
leather cub, then you could also pull off wearing sunglasses at night.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For myself (even though I tried to
eschew most labels), I thought I might fit in more as a twink than anything
else. I wore the tightest red jeans I could possibly find and a shirt that said
<i>Sassy</i> in bright, glittery letters. If I even remotely attempted to lift
my arms in any way, my midriff was bared. I’d put a thin line of eyeliner under
my eyes, smearing it gently. Instead of wearing sunglasses to complete my
outfit, I was sucking on a Ring Pop and practicing giggling how I thought a
twink might.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’ll be fine,” I said again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul sighed. “Sandy, I look like I’m
part of a Village People tribute band playing in a Four Seasons ballroom near
the Milwaukee Airport. You look like you’re working undercover to catch
pedophiles in the act. Nothing about this is fine.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It won’t be if you <i>doubt</i>
it,” I said. “You have to believe your role, otherwise you’ll never be able to
sell it. Paul, this is the performance of your career. This is what you’ve been
building up toward your whole life.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Being a leather daddy,” he said.
“That’s what I’ve been working toward.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Leather <i>cub</i>,” I corrected.
“You’re not old enough to be a daddy yet.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Being gay is so hard,” he muttered.
“Not only do you have to admit <i>that</i>, but then you have to find out what
kind of gay you are. It’s all very confusing. It was so much easier when we
played with Legos instead of dressing like leather cubs and pedo-bait.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Lucky for you, you have me,” I
said. “And I know what kind of gay you are.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“A leather cub.” He sounded dubious.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Exactly.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“My mustache itches.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Don’t <i>play</i> with it, Paul.
Jesus. You’re going to knock it loose.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I don’t see why I have to wear a
mustache,” he said. “I’m not a cartoon villain who’s going to tie you to train
tracks as part of my evil plot.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Well, maybe if you had grown your
own facial hair like I’d asked, you wouldn’t be in this position, now would
you?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I <i>tried</i>! You know it’s hard
for me to grow a beard. And then to have to do it because you told me to? I
have performance anxiety!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It doesn’t matter,” I said as we
turned a corner, the front of the club coming into view. “What’s done is done.
We’re here, we’re queer, get used—oh my god, stop touching the mustache!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He rolled his eyes at me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I pulled him to a stop. “Remember
your part,” I told him. “You’re a strong, confident leather cub. You <i>own</i>
this role.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He nodded. “I’m a leather cub. I’m a
leather cub.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You have your fake ID I got you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Right. Which says my name is Buster
Cleveland.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Exactly,” I said. “It’s your porn
name, I told you. Your first pet and the first street you lived on. They were
cheap, okay? The guy said it had to be this way.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And you believed him?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I scoffed. “Uh, <i>yeah</i>. He was
selling fake IDs. Obviously he’s reputable and knows what he’s doing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s yours?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh look, it’s getting late. We
should go.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy,” he said, an evil grin
forming on his face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“No. Don’t you dare.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s your fake ID porn name?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Shut up, Paul.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Because if I remember right, your
first pet was a gerbil named Lulu.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Shut <i>up</i>, Paul.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And the first street you lived on
was Deerdancer.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh my god.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy? Does your fake ID say your
name is Lulu Deerdancer?” He was trying desperately not to laugh, the bastard.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“No,” I said savagely. “It says my
name is Rocco Cordova because that is awesome and amazing.” I was lying. My
fake ID said Lulu Deerdancer. The guy I’d bought them from had laughed his ass
off. I hated him with a passion that burned like a thousand suns.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Okay, Rocco.” He patted my
shoulder. Like a jackass. “I believe you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Whatever,” I said. “Now. Just be a
leather cub and I’ll be a twink, and we’ll get into the gay bar and do gay-bar
things and everything will be amazing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What the hell are gay-bar things?”
he asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know. Drinking and blow jobs.
Or whatever.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You have no idea, do you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Not in the slightest. Now let’s
go.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I tried to project that I was a most
confident and completely legal twink as we approached the entrance to Jack It.
I accomplished this by sucking on my Ring Pop and giggling. I thought it a
master plan with absolutely no chance of failure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There was a bouncer at the front of
the club, a large older man wearing a leather jacket and glaring at everyone
that walked by. He had to have been in his sixties, the lines and crags in his
face pronounced. To say he was intimidating would have been an understatement,
but I was a twink on a mission and I was getting in that goddamned club. The
music pulsed and I could feel the vibrations underneath my feet. I <i>had</i>
to get in there. It was <i>calling</i> me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The bouncer stiffened slightly as we
approached, glancing first at me, his eyes widening as he looked at Paul
trailing behind me. For the briefest of moments, I thought I saw his lips curl
into the world’s smallest smile, but it could have been just a trick of the
light.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hi.” I giggled. I licked the Ring
Pop as slowly as I possibly could and hoped that the elderly bouncer would get
slightly turned on and let us in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Why hello there, chicken,” he said,
which made absolutely no sense. Who used fowl for pet names? “What brings you
out so late?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“We wanted to go dancing,” I said.
“You know, like we do every Saturday night.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He crossed his considerable arms
over his considerable chest. “That right.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah.” I sucked on the Ring Pop and
looked up at him through my eyelashes like a good twink. Or at least that’s
what the Internet taught me. Also, apparently twinks were good at getting
rimmed, but I wasn’t prepared to go that far to get into Jack It. I had <i>some</i>
self-respect, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Every Saturday night?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sure,” I said, going for subtle as
I elbowed Paul.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Ow, Sandy, what the fuck?” he
whined.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“<i>Leather cub</i>,” I hissed at
him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He flushed. “Oh. Right.” He coughed
and squared his shoulders. When he spoke, he’d dropped his voice an octave or
two. He sounded like he was grunting. It was completely ridiculous. “Yeah.
Every Saturday. It’s where I hang out with my fellow leather bears.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Cubs,” I giggled dangerously. “You
mean <i>cubs</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Right. Yeah. Cubs. Rawr.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Really?” the bouncer asked. “How
fortuitous. <i>I’m</i> a big part of the leather community. I think we’d have
met before if you are too. Can’t really see your face, though. Because of the
sunglasses you’re wearing. At night.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Nope,” Paul said, twitching only
minimally. “I tend to stay in the shadows. You know. Thinking about leather cub
things.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Wow,” the bouncer said, not
sounding impressed at all. “Like what leather cub things exactly?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know.” Paul started to sweat,
and I almost bit through the Ring Pop completely. “Like. How… like anytime I
see cows I think how awesome their skin will be when it’s made into leather and
I get to wear it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh my god,” I muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You sit in the shadows and think
about cows,” the bouncer said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah. Oh man. I could really go for
a hamburger right now.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That so?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Rawr.” Paul bared his teeth. “Or
however cubs do it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I needed to take control of the
situation before we were found out. “Anyway.” I gestured wildly with my arms so
my bare stomach was revealed. The bouncer didn’t even look down. “We’re always
here. You probably just don’t remember us.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, trust me,” he said. “I highly
doubt I would have forgotten either of you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I giggled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul <i>rawr</i>ed again.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The bouncer sighed. “All right.
We’ll keep going, if that’s what you want. How old are you boys?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ha! We’d practiced this. We knew the
dates on our IDs.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Twenty-six,” Paul said.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Twenty-nine,” I said.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s like you’re not even <i>trying</i>,”
the bouncer said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul looked cub-ish.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I licked my Ring Pop.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I suppose I should ask to see your
IDs, then,” the bouncer said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Which says I’m the age I just told
you,” Paul said unnecessarily. “Obviously.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m sure it does,” the bouncer
said. “Because if it didn’t or, say, it was a fake, that’d be illegal.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh sweat balls,” Paul muttered as
he pulled out his wallet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I like handcuffs,” I said, trying
to encapsulate the role of the airy twink I was born to play. I pouted a little
bit, my bottom lip sticky from the Ring Pop. “One time, this police officer
tried to arrest me, but then he said I was precious and we used his handcuffs
for entirely different reasons.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What?” Paul snapped. “Why the hell
didn’t you say anything? Who the hell was it? And why were you getting
arrested? You slut!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I glared at him before looking back
at the bouncer. “Sorry,” I simpered. “Sometimes my friend <i>forgets himself</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m sure he does,” the bouncer
said. “IDs.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I grabbed Paul’s and handed them
both to the bouncer. He looked at each of us, as if trying to memorize our
faces before focusing on the IDs. He snorted. “Buster Cleveland, huh?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes,” Paul said immediately. “It’s
German. Because of the Nazis. Er. My grandparents fled the Nazis. And now I’m
Buster Cleveland, leather cub. Because freedom isn’t free. Or whatever.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Goddammit. Paul had <i>one</i> job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Right,” the bouncer said. “Freedom
isn’t free.” And then he switched to mine and I <i>knew</i> I had to sell this,
I <i>knew</i> I could do this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, I thought I could until the
bouncer outright laughed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Lulu Deerdancer?” His chuckle was
deep and raspy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I <i>knew</i> it, oh my god,” Paul
said. Then, “Um. I mean. Of course I knew that. Because you’re my friend. My
friend Lulu Deerdancer. Heh. I can’t believe that’s your name. That’s so
awesome. And <i>stupid</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Exactly.” I ground my teeth
together. “I am Lulu Deerdancer and I am twenty-nine years old and I am
perfectly legal to enter this here homosexual establishment and partake in
beverages and repetitive techno music.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Because you both have been here
before.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes,” I said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hmm,” the bouncer said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then Paul sneezed and his mustache
flew off his face and landed on the cheek of the bouncer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The silence that followed was
slightly awkward.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Huh,” Paul said. “I guess that’s
easier than shaving. It’ll certainly revolutionize the facial hair industry.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I choked on my tongue as the bouncer
slowly peeled the wet mustache off his cheek, looking less than amused. And he
might have been much, much older, but there was no doubt he could squash us
both with his freakishly large hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He held out the mustache to Paul.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul took it back. He grimaced as he
put it back under his nose.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“So,” the bouncer said. “This must
be really awkward for you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You have no idea,” I said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Well, maybe we should—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Charlie! Yoo-hoo. <i>Charlie</i>.
Be a dear and help me, won’t you? I swear, my lady balls are about to pop out
all over the sidewalk. We certainly can’t have <i>that</i> happening, now can
we?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then <i>she</i> entered the
world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There are definitive moments in
everyone’s life, moments that will help shape and define who you are and who
you will become. Meeting Paul was a moment. Realizing I was gay was a moment.
My parents’ death was a moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And this six-foot-four drag queen
stumbling our way carrying an armful of shiny costumes, the sequins flashing in
the street lights, multiple wigs tucked under her chin, barefoot with red vinyl
thigh-high boots slung over her shoulder… well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> was a moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Who is <i>that</i>?” I whispered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">No one heard me, but I didn’t expect
them to. I didn’t know if I’d have heard an answer anyway, given that all of my
attention was on this glorious creature who moved like casual chaos. The
bouncer (Charlie, she’d called him) moved toward her and caught her right
before she dropped everything onto the sidewalk. She grinned at him, all
lipstick and sharp teeth. “Well, aren’t you just a knight in shining armor,”
she purred. “Saving little old me from certain doom. Why, if I didn’t know any
better, kitten, I would think you were trying to court me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Charlie huffed out a laugh.
“Darling, if I was courting you, you’d know it. Most likely because you’d have
ended up over my knee with that pert little ass stinging from my hand.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Ooh,” she moaned. “The thought
alone is enough to make my thighs <i>quiver</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“An image I will now never be
without,” Charlie said. He began to relieve her of her burdens, draping the
shiny material carefully in his arms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, I’m sure,” she said. “How
fortunate for you. You’re one of a very select few who…. Okay, we both know
that’s a lie. I’ve spent so much time with my legs in the air, I’m thinking
about getting a sign that says open twenty-four hours a day.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Holy shit,” Paul choked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She locked onto Paul and me with her
razor-sharp gaze over Charlie’s shoulder. “Well, well, well,” she said, arms
free now that Charlie held everything. “What have we <i>here</i>?” She pushed
her way around Charlie, <i>slinking</i> her way toward us, hips rolling, one
foot snapping out in front of the other as she <i>prowled</i>. “I didn’t know
we were having a middle-school field trip with us today. But I suppose it’s
better to recruit early than not at all, hmm? I mean, that’s what the zealots
are all concerned with. May as well prove them right.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She came to stand in front of me,
eyes coolly assessing. I forgot to be nervous because I was completely
distracted by the amount of bangles she had clinking along her arms and the
gaudily large hoop earrings in her ears. Her makeup was expertly applied,
carefully straddling the line between <i>just enough</i> and <i>far too much</i>.
Even though she wasn’t much taller than I was, she seemed larger than life, and
I <i>adored</i> her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I want to be you when I grow up,” I
breathed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And she <i>laughed</i>. “Well now,
aren’t you adorable, chicken.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I scowled at her. “I’m not a
chicken.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, pocket gay,” she said, running
a perfectly manicured fingernail across my cheek, “you are the perfect
definition of such. Now. Why are you here and not at home doing Pokémon or
whatever the devil it is children do these days? Tic-tac-toe? I don’t know even
know anymore.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I was doing that yesterday,” Paul
said. “The Pokémon thing. I’m going to catch them all.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Good for you,” she said. “This
place isn’t for you. Either of you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m old enough.” I scowled at her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Charlie snorted. “Ms. Muffman, may I
introduce to you Lulu Deerdancer and Buster Cleveland. According to their IDs,
both are in their twenties. Lulu here likes to fellate a sucker on his finger
while laughing like a hyena. Buster is a self-proclaimed leather cub who
sneezed his mustache on my face.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ms. Muffman threw her head back and
laughed, a low throaty thing that made me want to know all her secrets
immediately. “Oh, this is <i>delightful</i>. I am <i>delighted</i> by the two
of you. But this is no place for little boys. Shoo, little boys. Come back when
you have hair on your balls.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Uh,” Paul said. “I have several,
so….”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I thought myself in the presence of
something reverent. “We just wanted to come here and see what this was all
about. We weren’t going to do anything. Honest.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You said drinking and blow jobs,”
Paul hissed.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Drinking and blow jobs,” Ms.
Muffman said, rolling her eyes to Charlie. “Were we ever that young?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Speak for yourself,” he said.
“You’re not <i>that</i> much older than they are.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Liar,” she said fondly. “But I’ll
allow it because I love you so. Kiss, kiss. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a
show to prepare for.” She started to turn away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“A show?” I asked. “What show?”
Because I couldn’t let her go without finding out as much as I could.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Why, the greatest show on earth, of
course,” she said. “It’s a performance for the ages.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I see your Spice Girls outfit in
here,” Charlie said mildly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I see what you did there.” She
glared lightly at the bouncer. “You’re lucky I think the world of you,
otherwise I would have made slippers out of your testicles long ago.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“But,” Paul said, “you have big
feet.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I gaped at him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Charlie shrugged. “I have big
balls.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“How nice,” Paul said faintly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And since <i>when</i> do you tell a
lady she has big feet?” Ms. Muffman scowled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Um, never?” Paul guessed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Good answer,” she said. “You may
live.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh thank god,” Paul said. “My
parents would have killed me if you’d have murdered me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“As lovely as this has been,” she
said. “And trust me, it <i>has</i> been lovely. Probably more so for you than
me. But still. A queen never leaves her subjects wanting. Well. Maybe just a
little.” She winked and started to walk away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I couldn’t just let her <i>leave</i>.
Not without finding out the most important thing in the world. “Who <i>are</i>
you?” I demanded.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, here we go,” Charlie muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She turned and smiled at me. Up
close, it felt like watching <i>Shark Week</i> in 3-D with all those teeth. “My
dear little chicken,” she said. “I am the tallest bitch in captivity. I am <i>revered</i>.
I am <i>feared</i>. I make all the straight boys <i>queer</i>. I am the exalted
one who <i>plucks</i> little chickens such as yourself.” She leaned forward and
her lips scraped against my ear. Her breath was hot against my skin as she
whispered, “I am the drag queen Vaguyna Muffman.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She pressed a sticky kiss against my
cheek, a perfect imprint of her lips I would find hours later, a furious shade
of magenta that would be a bitch to wash off.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then she spun away, the door to
the club opening as if on cue, music spilling out and lights flashing. She
disappeared inside, leaving behind a trail of glitter and feathers trailing
from the boa around her neck.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Scram, chickens,” Charlie said,
following Vaguyna Muffman. “Don’t make me bend you over my knee. You won’t like
it when I do.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The door closed behind him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Holy shit,” I managed to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I told you this wouldn’t work,”
Paul muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But it didn’t matter. It didn’t
matter that we hadn’t made it into the club right then. It didn’t matter that
there was no drinking or blow jobs. It didn’t matter that Paul had sneezed off
his mustache or that I had basically gotten to third base with a Ring Pop.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">No, none of that mattered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">None of that mattered because for
the first time since the day the guidance counselor pulled me from AP English
to hear from Matty and Larry Auster that my parents were dead, I felt something
like fire bloom within me. It was strength and passion and the urge to become
something <i>more</i> than what I already was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was another moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She’d given it to me, whether she
knew it or not.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And I was going to run with it as fast
as I could.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It felt good, having the decision
made.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m going to be a fucking drag
queen,” I said in awe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh sweat balls,” Paul sighed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">SO.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You’ve heard my origin story.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Like any superqueero, I had a
beginning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Maybe part of it was tragic, though
the trauma was not the focus.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But it helped to shape who I’ve
become.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am not <i>defined</i> by tragedy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Instead, I made it my bitch.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because there is one thing you
should remember above all else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am a <i>Queen</i>, motherfuckers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And I demand respect.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You ready?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
It’s time to rock out with our cocks out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Chapter 1 </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A Dick for You and a Dick for Me </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As I was on my knees in a back room
of the club Jack It, my lipstick smeared and my eyes watering as I choked on a
dick, I had a rather indulgent thought: if cocksucking could be considered a
form of art, then I was the Leonardo da Fucking Vinci of fellatio.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I couldn’t even really remember how
I’d ended up back here, my tights stretching along my knees as I worked the
magnificent dick in front of me. It was thick and fat, a gorgeous dark vein
running underneath that I worshipped with my tongue. A great set of balls hung
heavy between his muscled thighs. He grunted as he started thrusting into my
mouth, his hands coming up to my head.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I pulled off his dick and batted his
hands away, glaring up at him. His face was obscured in shadow, as he leaned
back against the wall. “You touch the wig, baby doll,” I purred, “and I’ll rip
your fucking dick off and shove it down your throat. Do we have an
understanding?” </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He grunted, his hands falling to his
sides.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Good boy,” I said, running my hand
up the length of his cock. It felt spit-slick and hot in my hand. “Now, where
was I?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I took his dick in my mouth again,
fisting the base and jacking him slowly. I opened up my throat and took him in
down to my fingers, my nose brushing against his pubes. He groaned, his hands
twitching at his sides, obviously fighting the urge to reach out and take
control. That poor, sweet boy. Probably college frat, from the way he moved.
All cocky and confident, thinking he was the one in control. After all, he was
the one getting his dick sucked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But in all my years of experience,
I’ve learned it’s the one doing the sucking that’s in control. And that’s what
I liked. That’s what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she</i> liked.
Helena Handbasket didn’t have a goddamn submissive bone in her body.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Unless she wanted it there, of
course.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He was getting close, I could tell.
The muscles in his stomach were jumping underneath his tight shirt. His hands
were fisted now at his sides. His thighs were trembling, the poor dear. He’d
probably go back to his frat house with my lipstick rings around his dick and
tell himself he’d fucked that queen good, that he really gave it to her hard.
But in the back of his tiny little mind, he’d wonder just how little control of
the situation he’d had.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And he’d be right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Someone else came into the back
room, but I ignored them. At least until they’d pressed against the frat guy
above me at his side. I was annoyed, and I glared up through my false
eyelashes, trying to relay my disdain with a dick in my mouth. It was a look
I’d mastered many times over.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But the new guy was rubbing the
chest of the frat boy, their faces pressed together, still hidden in shadow.
They were kissing, so either I was blowing someone’s boyfriend or they were
really close in this frat house. I wasn’t in the mood to double fist or have
multiple cocks in my face, at least not tonight. Whatever. He was going to come
and then I’d leave him with—</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The cock in my mouth jerked when the
man moaned, “Sandy.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I immediately pulled off the dick
because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">who</i> the fuck was this guy to know my real name? I was in drag. I
wasn’t fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sandy</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Excuse me?” I snapped, voice croaky
and hoarse from exertion. His dick jerked again and brushed against my cheek.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Close,” he said as his friend
sucked on his ear. “So close, just—”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then he leaned forward to touch
my face, to pull me back onto his dick.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Vincent Melody Taylor grinned down
at me as his precome smeared against my lips. “Come on. Just finish. I’m so
close.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah,” his buddy said. “Come on.
You know you want to finish. And then it’s my turn.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> that voice.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That mother<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fucking</i> voice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Darren Mayne.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Homo Jock King.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Who was sucking on Vince’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">neck</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His half-<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">brother</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I said, “Sweet baby Jesus, this is
some hot fucked-up shit right here.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Look,” Vince said, dick still
bobbing free. “It’s cool. We’re all friends here.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And some of us are related,” I
pointed out, like I was being helpful.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah,” Darren said. “But we have
different mothers, so it’s cool. It’s not completely illegal.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That should not be a decider in an
incestuous three-way,” I said.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Or is it the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">best</i> decider?” Vince groaned as Darren did something fancy with his
tongue.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You love Paul,” I accused him,
anger flaring. “What the hell are you doing?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah,” Paul said, appearing in a
puff of smoke for some reason. “What the hell are you doing without me?” And
then it just got weirder as Paul began to strip. “Someone suck on my nipples,”
he demanded as he pulled his shirt over his head. “They’re very sensitive.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Darren and Vince pushed me out of
the way, knocking me on my ass as they latched themselves to Paul’s chest.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’s the good stuff,” Paul
sighed. “I like this quite a bit.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then a marching band began to
walk through the back room with Paul’s nana leading the way, cackling while she
twirled a baton and pranced around.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The actor known as Johnny Depp
followed behind them in full <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pirates of
the Caribbean</i> costume, and as he passed me, he looked down and said,
“Paul’s a fudgepacker, ya savvy?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I savvy,” I said, because I really
did.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Enough with the foreplay,” Paul
said. “It’s time for a four-way.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And he reached for me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So naturally, I screamed myself
awake.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was only a moment later when the
light flipped on in my room, a sweet dark-skinned boy staring at me with wide
eyes. “What the hell?” Corey Ellis demanded, running his hands over his
sleep-rough face. “Are you okay?” His eyes darted around the room before coming
back to rest on me. His hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, strands
hanging around his face.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I pushed myself up against the
headboard of my bed, pulling the covers up around my chest. “I’ve seen things,”
I told him ominously. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Things</i>.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He took a step into the room warily.
“Was Mr. Escadero peeking through the window again? I swear to god, I’m going
to cut that creepy old bitch.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I shook my head. It hadn’t been our
elderly next-door neighbor who thought we were his personal cam-boy show. Not
this time. This fear had been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i>.
“I had a dream,” I whispered.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His face softened and he came to the
bed, sitting on the edge, patting my knee. “Bad?” he asked quietly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Awful,” I said. And then, “Mostly.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He arched an eyebrow. “How so?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know when you have a dream
about doing something you shouldn’t and then it turns incestuous and you think,
well, that wasn’t so bad and then there are marching bands?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His lips twitched. “Um. What?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Paul cheated on Vince,” I admitted.
“With me.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i>? When the hell did you—”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“In my dream,” I said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Jesus Christ, don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">scare</i> me like that—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And then, while I was blowing him,
Vince started making out with Darren.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His eyes bulged. “That… should not
be an image that I find attractive, but holy shit. Like, full-on making out?
With tongue and—”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Corey!”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy!”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And then <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Paul</i> came in and there was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nipple</i>
sucking.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Whose nipples?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Paul’s. You know how sensitive his
nipples are.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Unfortunately I do,” Corey said.
“You were sucking on his nipples?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“No,” I said. “Jesus, Corey, keep
up, will you? Vince and Darren were sucking his nipples. I was still on my
knees trying to recover from deep throating Vince.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh dear god,” he choked.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You can never tell him,” I said.
“Paul is a sweet, soft, innocent soul and this would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">crush</i> him.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Uh,” Corey said. “We’re speaking
about the same Paul, right? Like, Paul Auster? Because he’s not sweet or
innocent. Maybe a little soft, but he’s the type where the weight looks good on
him, so—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">destroy</i> him,” I said. “Can you imagine, hearing from his oldest and
dearest friend that said friend is having sexual relations with his partner?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“In your dreams,” Corey said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">beside</i> the point!” I said shrilly. “The fact that I even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dreamt</i> of such a thing means that I have
some unconscious desire to fuck Vince.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Huh,” Corey said. “So, using that
line of logic, that must mean you also want to fuck Darren—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You shut your whore mouth,” I snarled
at him. And then I coughed. “I mean, what? Pshaw. I don’t even know what you’re
talking about. Darren who?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He rolled his eyes. “Right. Because
I’m not an expert at people who pine over each other. I didn’t spend last
summer drowning in the angst that was Tyson and Dominic, after all.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Ah, yes. The twinkie and his cop.
They’re so precious. And we are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nothing
alike</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, Sandy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You would do well to remember that.
Darren is an asshole and I want nothing to do with him and I also hate his face
and his ridiculously muscled body.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, Sandy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“His personality also leaves
something to be desired. He’s narcissistic at best. At worst, he’s borderline
sociopathic. I don’t think I’ve ever <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">met</i>
anyone more self-involved then he is.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, Sandy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I don’t even know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why</i> we have to be talking about him
right now. What possible value does someone like him even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have</i> to society as a whole? All he does is fuck twinks and piss me
off.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He also watches every performance
you have,” Corey said mildly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Right?” I exclaimed. “He is so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">creepy</i>. Why the hell are we even talking
about him again?”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Corey grinned. “Honestly, I have no
idea. You were the one that had sex dreams about him.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“About Vince,” I corrected. “Darren
just happened to be there. And Paul.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And the marching band.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, that. This can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> get to Paul. Why, the betrayal
alone would absolutely devastate him. I cannot be responsible for the emotional
destruction of my best friend.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes, Sandy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hand me my phone.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Why?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I have to call Paul,” I said. “The
weight of my guilt is crushing me and he has to know the truth.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“But—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Corey!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He knew better than to sass me while
I was emotionally conflicted. He merely remarked on the fact that it was two in
the morning and surely it could wait until a more reasonable hour. But Corey
couldn’t understand the depths of my pain. Paul needed to know, so we could
begin to mend the rift that would undoubtedly spring between us. Hopefully, it
wouldn’t be too large to overcome. We couldn’t lose almost two decades of
friendship because I’d suddenly developed a brothers kink at the age of
thirty-one.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I put the phone on speaker and bit
my thumbnail as it began to ring.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After the fifth ring, he answered,
voice annoyed and muffled. “Sandy, I swear to god, you better be on fire if
you’re calling me this late. It’s two in the goddamn morn—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Maybe I am!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Are you?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“No, of course not. That’d be
ridiculous.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Paul,” I said. “This is a
surprise.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Uh. No. It isn’t. You called me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh. Is that right? I guess I did. Ha-ha.
How about that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s up?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Nothing much. What’s up with you?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Corey snorted and I had to fight the
urge to smack him upside the head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Are you high?” Paul asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Are you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">high</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> time and we were nineteen and you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">swore</i> you’d never bring that up again.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“So you’re not going to cry and tell
me you’re stoned but that you love me more than anything else in the world and
that you wish we were both princesses who lived in a castle made of clouds and
good dreams and were serviced by Latinos with bronzed skin and names like
Esteban and Jorge Lopez Santiago?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh my god,” Corey laughed. “This is
so amazing. I love everything about this. Please, continue.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Corey, is he stoned?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Corey leaned forward until his face
was inches from my own. “No. It doesn’t look like it. Though, he does have some
bags under his—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I will see you as a homeless <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">street</i> urchin if you finish that
sentence,” I growled at him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He looks luminous,” Corey said
instead. “Vibrant. Not tired at all. He would get carded trying to see an
R-rated movie.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Good boy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul sighed. I heard mumbling in the
background. “No, it’s Sandy and Corey. Apparently, Sandy is having one of his
moments.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And just what the hell is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> supposed to mean?” I asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hi, Sandy and Corey,” Vince said,
voice sleep-rough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hi, Vince,” Corey said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So I squeaked, “Meep,” because I had
sucked Vince’s cock. In my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dreams</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What the hell was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> noise?” Paul asked. “Sandy, did you
buy one of those hairless cats and it’s now dying in your arms?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes,” I said, trying to save face.
“Its name Wrinkles McSkin and it’s dying and it’s moist and that’s the only
reason I called.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy’s cat is dying?” Vince asked.
“That’s terrible.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes,” Paul said. “His cat is dying
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lies</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“How dare you!” I shrieked at him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I don’t get it,” Vince said. “Is
that some kind of cat disease? I had a cat when I was a kid. Mom said it ran
away, but I think it got eaten by coyotes.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Why do you think that?” Paul asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Because I found its tail near a
cactus behind the house.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“God, I love you,” Paul said. “And
that was a sad story.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Eh,” Vince said. “I got a car out
of it, so I was all right.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“First-world problems are my
favorite kind,” Corey said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sandy,” Paul said. “Are you going
to tell me or do I have to guess?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I wanted to tell him to guess just
to see what he came up with, but my guilt was almost crippling. “I had a dream
where I was blowing Vince and then he made out with Darren and they both sucked
on your nipples and Nana led a parade with Captain Jack Sparrow. Or something.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Dead silence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Corey sighed. “It really is my own
fault that I surround myself with these kinds of people. There’s no escape for
me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I narrowed my eyes at him. “What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">kinds</i> of people would that be?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“The best kind,” he said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’re welcome,” I said. “I really
do feel better after getting that off my chest.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You had a what about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i>?” Paul screeched.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I wouldn’t make out with Darren,”
Vince said. “I’m in a one hundred percent committed relationship with Paul.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Aw,” Paul said. “That’s so—wait a
minute. That’s the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only</i> reason?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Well, yeah, I guess,” Vince said.
“I mean, he’s attractive, right?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’ll get there in a second,” Paul
said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Get where? It’s not as if I’m going
to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i>—oh. Wait. He’s my brother.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“There it is,” Corey said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh no,” Paul said. “Sandy. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sandy</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What if I have a brothers kink now?
What if your dream was prescient and they both latch themselves onto my
nipples?” Of course he would go there. Because I’d already had the same
thought. It was comforting to know Paul and I were the same. Well. Sort of
comforting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah,” Vince said. “Doubt that’s
going to happen.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Because you’d fight him for the
right to my nipples?” Paul asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sure,” Vince said. “I’d fight
anyone for your nipples. And also because Darren wants to bone Sandy and not
you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh,” Paul said. “That’s right.” I
could hear the goddamned smirk in his voice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He does <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>,” I hissed. “For one, I am not a barely legal <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">twink</i> with more abs than brain cells.
Two, there has to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">attraction</i> for
that and I assure you, I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>
attracted to him. At <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Denial isn’t just a river in South
America,” Vince said seriously.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What?” Paul said. “Vince, no. It’s
not in South America.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh. Brazil?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’s still South America.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Huh. It’s not Asia, because I would
have seen it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Vince, we didn’t go to all of
Asia.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Mostly,” Vince said. “Remember when
you wore that sumo wrestle diaper thing and we had sex next to the shop that
sold food that looked like the carcass of a shaved Bigfoot?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“None of that happened,” Paul said
quickly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“All of that happened.” Vince
sounded very smug. “I made you make sex face, like, four times.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“So gross,” I muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I can’t believe I’m going to say
this,” Corey said, “but I really want to move back to Seafare now.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sorry, baby doll,” I said. “I have
my claws in you and I’m never letting you go.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“But we’ll still give you the
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Lovely,” Corey said with a sigh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Do you forgive me?” I asked Paul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“For having an incestuous orgy sex
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sure,” Paul said. “Why not. I can
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Good,” I said, relieved.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Aw. I love you too.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“But I swear to fucking god, Sanford
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ass, you’ll be gagging on your own fingers.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Wow,” Corey said. “Paul can be
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Sometimes. But usually not at all.”
I yawned. “I feel like I can sleep now. Also, we should talk later about
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Also,” Corey said, “we should talk
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I wasn’t in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">denial</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I hated Darren Mayne.</span></div>
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<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-57739738759017336632015-10-10T07:17:00.000-07:002015-10-10T07:20:41.677-07:00Pre-Release Thoughts On How To Be A Normal Person; Or, Love Isn't Always A Dick In the Butt<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ2Tml_EgOmSTin4EOz6IfSbFxAeYnOetpgyACgIaUi54lIOwR4CT7FbuJ-RWF2bO4Hvu_3vzIRWddBTQUP_fxXglQgA7GvL9E67omYfmzr25ahe0dM8bp_EZtJ_khDjcYLXxiP5_lT8W2/s1600/HowToBeANormalPerson6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ2Tml_EgOmSTin4EOz6IfSbFxAeYnOetpgyACgIaUi54lIOwR4CT7FbuJ-RWF2bO4Hvu_3vzIRWddBTQUP_fxXglQgA7GvL9E67omYfmzr25ahe0dM8bp_EZtJ_khDjcYLXxiP5_lT8W2/s640/HowToBeANormalPerson6.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Once upon a time, I was on the internet
and was stuck in a Wikipedia spiral (which often happens when I’m reading a
Wiki article and click on a link to another page and then somehow, three hours
have passed, and I’ve gone from reading about Hamburger Hill to ending up on an
article about the mating of flatworms, I don’t even know), when I came across
the most magical website in the world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span><a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page">http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page</a></div>
<a href="http://www.wikihow.com/Main-Page"></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Click on the link. No worries, it’s safe.
When you do, scroll down the page a bit to see some of the articles you can
click on. I’ll wait.</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You back?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Did you see them? The articles?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They change daily.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here are a few that I see today:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How
to become a prison warden</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How to groom a Yorkshire Terrier</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How to choose a good dairy cow breed </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(OBVIOUSLY
SO IMPORTANT)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How to get rid of chocolate stains</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I remember being on this page for the
first time, looking through some of these articles, and saying to myself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Where have you been all my life?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This website is fucking batshit
bonkers, man. And what makes it even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">better</i>,
is how the answers to many of the questions are actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">illustrated</i>. Someone took the time to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">draw the answers to the questions</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This got me thinking. How cool would
it be if someone lived their life based upon the advice offered by this
website? Because some of it was so fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wrong</i>,
that I couldn’t believe it was supposed to be taken seriously.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I put it aside, though.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had to finish a book about a
wizard and a unicorn, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But
it wouldn’t leave me alone</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once I’d finished with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Lightning-Struck Heart</i>, I was
contemplating what to write next. I wasn’t ready for BOATK4. Or the sequel to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me It’s Real.</i> I wanted to do
something new again, with characters I hadn’t written about before.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Weird things happened after that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For some reason, I couldn’t get a
specific scene from the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Art of
Breathing</i> out of my head. Do you remember Tyson’s graduation? He came out
while giving a speech, which led to an epic Bear meltdown:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
better have another thought coming! You know what could happen to you? Jesus
Christ, Kid! It starts that way, sure. Oh, hey! Look! That guy’s giving me the
come-fuck-me-eyes! That’s how it starts! He’ll introduce himself as something
ridiculous, like Gustavo Tiberius, because </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">everyone<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> has idiotic names these days, and he’ll say
it in a generic Bond Villain accent that you’ll </i>swoon<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> over.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Gustavo Tiberius. I liked that name.
It was meant to be ridiculous, of course. But it had such a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ring</i> to it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then I thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Okay, so what if Gustavo Tiberius was an actual</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">person? And what if he’s absolutely </i>nothing<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> like what Bear said he was? In fact, what
if he was socially awkward, a loner who was the furthest away from my normal
rambling characters who say everything that’s in their heads? He’ll be grumpy,
and annoyed with everyone, and just wants to be left alone until…until….until </i>something<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> happens, I don’t know what, dammit, lost my
train of thought.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I pushed it aside.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And found myself pulling up that damn
website again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I love it. I love clicking on the
articles, just to see how absurd they get. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One day in January 2015, I ended up on one
specifically. I can’t even remember how I got there, but here I sat, four words
staring me straight in the face.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">How
to be normal</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That was my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh shit</i> moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">of course</i> someone named Gustavo Tiberius would need to look up how
to be a functioning human being on the internet. Of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">course</i> he would. His name is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gustavo
Tiberius</i>, for fuck’s sake. And this day and age, if we don’t know
something, what do we do?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We look it up on the internet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The fact that this turned into an asexual
romance?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well, that was decided the very next
day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Look, I am going to be frank with
you. If you read M/M books for the sexual aspect of the story, you are not
going to like this book. There is no sex. There are no sex scenes. There are no
fade to black sex scenes. There are very pointed discussions <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">about</i> sex and sexual boundaries, but
Casey, the stoner asexual hipster, doesn’t like having sex, and is very up
front and honest about that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That being said, there is no
sex-shaming in this book. There is no asexual shaming in this book. The stoner
aspect is played for laughs. Gus and Casey’s awkwardness is played for laughs.
The fact that one of the two main characters is asexual is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> played for laughs. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am asexual. I end up more on the
sex-positive side of things than sex-repulsed. I am hoping that by reading
this, you’ll be able to understand not just me a little better, but asexual people
as a whole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this book isn’t meant to
preach at you. In fact, while asexuality is discussed in the story, it’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> the main focal point. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because being asexual doesn’t define
Casey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s just part of who he is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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simple. It is more low-key than say, TMIR or TLSH, because I wanted to do my
very best to give a real world example of what a healthy and loving asexual
relationship could look like. It’s still a comedy, of course, because I like
making people laugh, but I also wanted to make people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Many people are going to find the
asexuality aspect hard to understand, and that’s okay. We’re taught that sex is
part of a loving relationship from a very early age. And there is absolutely
nothing wrong with that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted to show here that sex isn’t
the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only</i> way to show intimacy. That,
if the sexual aspect of a relationship was removed, people can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i> fall in love with each other, and
express it in ways that doesn’t involve a dick going in a butt.</span></div>
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which is why I dialed back the angst until it was practically non-existent. I
didn’t want there to be stupid miscommunications, or people acting like idiots.
I told myself when I started writing this that I wanted the reader to walk away<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> happy</i>, that when they read the last
word, they’d want to go outside and hug random strangers or maybe get involved
in a flash mob that dances to an eighties song in the middle of a grocery
store.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In fact, by the time you finish this
book, I don’t want you to think of this as the “asexual romance.” I just want
this to be seen as a romance in general, because that’s what it is: two dudes
fumbling on their way to a happily ever after. Their orientations, their<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> labels</i>, shouldn’t matter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is my favorite thing I’ve
written. That shouldn’t color your perception of the book. You’re allowed not
to like it. You’re allowed to like other books I’ve written better. You’re
allowed to not like anything I’ve written at all. But for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>, this is the highlight of my written works. I love these
characters so goddamned much, it’s ridiculous, but especially Gus, because I
absolutely needed him to be okay. He is very precious to me, right up there
with the Bear, Otter and the Kid. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By the time you read this, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How to Be a Normal Person </i>will be only
six days away. If I could have you remember one thing before reading it, it
would be this: there are so many different kinds of love out there. This story
is just one of them, and I hope it makes you as happy as it makes me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I can’t wait to show you the story of Gus
and Casey, of Bertha, Betty and Bernice (the We Three Queens), of Lottie and
Harry S. Truman. And of Pastor Tommy, Gus’s dad who will probably be your
dealer of Wookie Cry Face this time around. It’ll be worth it, though. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I promise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tj</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Normal-Person-Klune-ebook/dp/B015VOHR0K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444486077&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+a+normal+person" target="_blank">Amazon Pre Order Click Here!</a> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> <a href="http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=6963" target="_blank"> Dreamspinner Pre Order Click Here!</a></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25548442-how-to-be-a-normal-person" style="border: medium none; clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="How To Be A Normal Person" src="https://www.goodreads.com/images/atmb_add_book-70x25.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br /> </span></span></div>
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-87853151958625934162015-09-26T13:00:00.001-07:002015-09-26T13:51:31.911-07:00Tales From Verania: The Tragic Life of Lady Tina DeSilva<br />
So, this was supposed to be five thousand words.<br />
<br />
Instead, there is backstory, drama, and now it's sixteen thousand words.<br />
<br />
I don't know how it happened.<br />
<br />
Oh my gods, someone send help.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
This is my way of saying thank you to everyone who has read <i>The Lightning-Struck Heart</i>. I don't know how or why, but you guys have made it one of my biggest bestsellers. A book about that has dragons rimming unicorns. I don't know what that says about you, but I am sure it's something good.<br />
<br />
But enough about all that. I know why you're here. This story covers before, during, and after the events of TLSH. Keep in mind that if you haven't read TLSH, certain events will be spoiled for you because of it.<br />
<br />
Ladies and Gents, I give you the madness of Lady Tina DeSilva.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Tj<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX89LNAguwb7v1BSWvmA1LnvwH6qKZEhJE9HDUTc86zzj98lmWq4PATizdzuqutr1eEjmObPpcZ5j9Cvu5i7kKZSiBMmIJY_njj8sFE9pWEApi6-7fstEqFibDO9nlebzZmZt5n5rIdDPU/s1600/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX89LNAguwb7v1BSWvmA1LnvwH6qKZEhJE9HDUTc86zzj98lmWq4PATizdzuqutr1eEjmObPpcZ5j9Cvu5i7kKZSiBMmIJY_njj8sFE9pWEApi6-7fstEqFibDO9nlebzZmZt5n5rIdDPU/s400/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tales from Verania</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>or</i> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Tragic Life Of</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lady Tina DeSilva </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Lady Tina DeSilva was not a cruel girl. No, she most definitely wasn't cruel. After all, it wasn't her fault that Mervin made her want to stab him in the face just to see what his blood looked spilling out onto the ground while he screamed for her to stop. <br /><br />Rystin was forever. Mervin, though. </span></span></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mervin was just a bump in the road.</span></span></i> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYoMAyrBPSBZIvmgBYrMOgSwaDw2RzHI3bLifXe-7gfm1rXZRNl6rcNPBe7YXalMjK5rUL0R5ZecGdLw30HcmtaspWEkZxpKMT53Z1GFerXzJuXug25apKlnqhexBm1X1NvEgBJsZCyBsd/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYoMAyrBPSBZIvmgBYrMOgSwaDw2RzHI3bLifXe-7gfm1rXZRNl6rcNPBe7YXalMjK5rUL0R5ZecGdLw30HcmtaspWEkZxpKMT53Z1GFerXzJuXug25apKlnqhexBm1X1NvEgBJsZCyBsd/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span> </span></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, it should be known that Lady
Tina DeSilva would never be considered of the magnanimous sort. She was aware
of this. She might have even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cultivated</i>
this. But it wasn’t because she was cruel; no, it was because Lady Tina DeSilva
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> what it took to make it in the
world. Sometimes, you were forced to make the tough decisions to crush competitors
under the heel of your tailored boots in order to ensure that you got what you
wanted when you wanted it.</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She first became aware of the
necessity for ruthlessness when she was nine years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was her first day of the new school year
at St. Martin’s Academy for Resplendently Matriculated Youths (so named after
Martin Goodfellow, the king who’d been canonized after his death and was most
known for a preference for nudity, especially when meeting with foreign
dignitaries, so they would see he wasn’t hiding a murder weapon. It wasn’t
until after the school was named that the board realized the acronym spelled
SMARMY, but by then, they’d already had the gold-plated sign engraved and
printed the invitations printed on thick card stock, and it was deemed far too
late to try and change it. Besides, they figured the type of child invited to
the school would more than make up for any negative connotations given the wealth
of their parents).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina DeSilva arrived at SMARMY
in her parents’ coach, her governess seated across from her. Her parents were
far too busy to be able to take time off for something as negligible as their
daughter’s first day at a new school, not that Lady Tina had expected anything
more. In fact, the further away from her parents she could get, the better. They
never really saw eye to eye on most things, especially in that Lady Tina would
have preferred they didn’t exist at all. The fact that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she</i> wouldn’t exist then didn’t really cross her mind, but that was
the sort of person Lady Tina was. She preferred the rush and pleasure of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i> rather than the thoughts of
consequences.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’re here, child,” her governess
said. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina rolled her eyes. “Really.
I wouldn’t have guessed by the way the coach has stopped in front of the
school. Thank you, though, for pointing out the obvious. I can’t even think of
what I would do without you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your tongue gets sharper every
day,” her governess said, narrowing her eyes. “You should check it before you
find it covered in fish sauce.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina laughed. “Oh, governess.
How you amuse me. I would be so desperately sad if something were to happen to
you. Like if someone were to accuse you of physically abusing a precocious
little girl and you were to find yourself out on the streets, unable to find
work ever again, most likely dying of a rather vicious fungal infection. Why,
that would just be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">travesty</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The governess wisely kept her fat
trap shut at that point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina was pleased by this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She moved out of the carriage, the
coachman helping her down the rungs. She stood on the path leading to the
school, brushing her hands over her dress, making sure any wrinkles from the
trip over would be smoothed out. One could not enter a new situation with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wrinkles</i>, for heaven’s sake, she was not
some <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">peasant</i> from the Slums. Once she
was satisfied that she was presentable, she held out her hand for her purse.
When it didn’t come right away, she snapped her fingers without looking back at
the coach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The governess sighed behind her and
a moment later, her purse was in her hand. Lady Tina reminded herself to make
the governess’s life a little bit more terrible when she got home from school.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you need me to accompany you?”
the governess asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Absolutely not,” Lady Tina said. “I
am nine years old. I don’t need you stuck on me like some wart. Off with you. I
don’t want to see your face again until absolutely necessary. And maybe not
even then.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Have a lovely day,” the governess
said, though her tone sounded like she meant quite the opposite. Yes, Tina
would need to make sure the governess got her just desserts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She walked up the path to the
school, other children milling around her. She grimaced when a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">boy</i> bumped into her, and she wondered
why her parents couldn’t have found a nice school just for girls so she
wouldn’t have to be around <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">boys</i>. They
were rude and sticky and smelled of old beef and hardly ever did what she told
them to do, which, in Lady Tina DeSilva’s book, was a sin without equal
comparison.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t know anyone here, but she
could easily change that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She scanned the courtyard, looking
for the right group of girls to make her best friends and allow them to worship
her. She found them standing near an old oak tree, giggling and gossiping with
each other. The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">problem</i> with them is
that they already seemed to have someone to fawn over, a pretty girl with
blonde curls and bright blue eyes, and a kind smile.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina hated her instantly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which is why she had no problem
finding the nearest teacher, tearfully explaining that the pretty girl had
accosted her, that she’d taken her down a dark alley just the day before and
tried to make her do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">drugs</i> and then
threatened to stab Tina if she told anyone about it. It was just so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">scary</i>, Tina tearfully explained, saying
that she had thought this school would be a safe place for her, that her parents,
Lord and Lady DeSilva—who had donated <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so
much money </i>to<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>SMARMY—would be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">terribly</i> disappointed that their beloved and only daughter was
upset on her first day of school.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The teacher, of course, had run and
fetched the Headmaster. By the time school started on that first day, the
pretty girl with blonde curls and blue eyes had been escorted from the property,
never to return, and at lunchtime, Lady Tina found the group of girls, now so
adrift without someone to guide them. Their heads were bowed as she approached
their table, only looking up warily at her when she stopped in front of them
and cleared her throat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello,” she said, rather politely.
“My name is Lady Tina DeSilva. And I believe we should all be the very best of
friends.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One of the girls said, “Why? We
don’t even know you,” and Tina decided that she would probably be the first to
go if the group needed to be culled down.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina smiled, showing many teeth.
“Because I think we’d get along so well. And, of course, you would need someone
like me. Now, what were we discussing?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At first, no one answered. Then,
another girl said, “Um. We were talking about Richie Nicholson and how good he
looks in those pants? Because they’re tight?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina cringed internally, but
she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> how to act. She’d done it
most of her life. “Well, then,” she said. “Point out this Richie to me, and I
will be the judge of that. And after I’ve made that decision, the rest of you
should probably agree with me. It’ll make things easier.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that was how Lady Tina DeSilva
discovered that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sometimes</i>, you had to
do what it took to get what you wanted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, no, she was not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cruel</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If anything, she was just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ambitious</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that ambition led to one of her
greatest discoveries.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Knight Ryan Foxheart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which lead to a rabbit hole of a
different sort.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The magical, dreamy,
heart-palpitating burst of sunshine capable of making her thighs tingle known
as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Rystin</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She shipped them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She shipped them so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hard</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because there was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> a couple meant to be together more
so than Prince Justin of Lockes and Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart. And no one,
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no one</i>, would ever break them apart.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my goodness!” one of the girls
at SMARMY said. Her voice was loud and grating and Lady Tina often contemplated
what would have happened had she been born mute. She hadn’t bothered learning
her name, though it’d been four years. She didn’t have time for that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” Tina asked, sounding annoyed
and doing nothing to hide it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They’re in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">paper</i>,” the girl exclaimed. She let out a breathy sigh and fluttered
her eyes down at the newspaper spread out in front of her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Again?” another girl asked, leaning
over. Tina thought her name was Mildred or Mildew or something like that. (In
fact, it was Rebecca, but Tina would never know that). “Show me. I have to see
it!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The two girls began squabbling over
the paper like fetid pigs fighting over scraps. Tina eyed them with distaste
until she couldn’t take it anymore. “Enough!” she said, and the cafeteria round
them fell silent, waiting to see if she would make yet another girl cry by
kicking her out of the group.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The girls stared at her in horror.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina said, “Give it to me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The first girl slid the paper over.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina snatched it from the table,
planning on shredding the paper right in front of them, dipping it in the water
glass next to her, and then throwing the wet pieces at their faces.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she made to do just that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Until</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Until she saw the picture they’d
been referring to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, it should also be said that
Lady Tina DeSilva had never really experienced <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">attraction</i> before. She still mostly thought boys were disgusting
(and really, why wouldn’t they be? They farted on each other and then <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">laughed </i>about it while picking their
noses and wiping it on the walls), and didn’t have time to associate with them.
Her schedule was very busy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But this was different.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">PRINCE
JUSTIN STEPS OUT WITH KNIGHT BEAU! THINGS ARE HEATING UP!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes, things were certainly heating
up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my,” she breathed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because she had seen Prince Justin
before. He was royalty, and her parents were part of the King’s Court. She’d
thought him handsome, but it’d been fleeting, almost cursory. And she’d heard of
this Knight before, a young up and comer pulled from the Army. She didn’t
remember having actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">seen</i> him,
but that didn’t really matter. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was seeing him <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she was seeing them <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">together</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What is this?” she asked aloud,
without even meaning to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Prince Justin and Knight Ryan
Foxheart,” one of the girls said, trying to keep her voice steady. She winced
as if anticipating a blow that never came.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina couldn’t even scoff. Because
her heart was beating in her chest and for some reason, her goddamn <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nipples</i> were hard. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t understand what was
happening. Why was it that two people she really couldn’t care less about
separately made her feel this way when they were together? What sorcery was
this that made her want to swoon? Tina didn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">swoon. </i>She never <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">swooned.</i>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She gave a very brief thought of
casting out the two people who had brought this to her attention, but there were
only four left in the group aside from her, and she needed people rule over in
order to make her feel good about herself. That’s how these things <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worked</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So she did the most difficult thing
she’d ever done in her life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She folded the paper up slowly
(carefully!). She slid it into her purse and then looked back at the rest of
the table. They waited with wide eyes for her to lash out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Instead, she said, “Now, we were
talking about the spring carnival?”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Normally, after school, Tina let her
group follow her around, twittering like the annoying little birds that they
were. They would dote on her, they would feed her gossip of the most delicious
variety. She feasted upon it until she was gorged and then she would send them
away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But today was different.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They waited for her after school,
but she told them she wouldn’t be requiring their services today. They looked
slightly shocked, but no one questioned it. They practically ran away from her,
the poor dears. Tina was sure they would be confused and alone for the rest of
the afternoon with nothing to do. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But she didn’t have time to care
about that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because a lady of her station and
disposition could never be publicly excited about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything</i>, she gave no outward sign that her entire world was
shifting when the coach arrived to pick her up. The coachman helped her up
inside where her governess was waiting. She had given half a thought to hoping
the old bat had had a heart attack or something during the day so she could be
alone, but she’d somehow stayed alive.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good day?” she asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It was fine,” Tina said, voice
even, even though she thought perhaps her armpits were damp. She wondered if
that was a sign of becoming a woman: seeing two attractive men in a homosexual
relationship and getting sweaty armpits because of it. She contemplated posing
this question to her governess, but decided against it, given that would sound
like she was seeking advice and Lady Tina DeSilva did not ask the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">help</i> for advice.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She arrived home, ignoring the
governess calling after her, telling her that supper would be served right at
seven o’clock, and that her parents would not be in attendance, due to a prior
engagement.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She couldn’t care less. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was a woman (because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">yes</i>, she’d decided this <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did </i>make her a woman now) on a mission.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was in her room with the door
closed and locked behind before she remembered to take a breath.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She listened to make sure that the
governess hadn’t followed her up the stairs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was quiet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her hands were shaking when she set
her purse on the bed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She reached inside.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her fingers touched the newspaper.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She pulled it out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And faced her <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">destiny.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The drawing of Prince Justin and Ryan
Foxheart was grainy, the ink slightly smudged, the paper wrinkled. But it
showed them smiling at each other as they walked near the castle, hand in hand.
Ryan had his head tilted back slightly, like he was laughing at something the
Prince had said, and the Prince himself looked rather pleased with himself. The
artist had captured the moment perfectly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my gods,” Tina muttered to no one
in particular. “Things are happening to me. Things are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> happening to me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because yes, the Prince was
handsome, even more so when he was smiling a smile of someone obviously deeply
in love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But it was<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ryan Foxheart (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and oh my god</i>s, she thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">could that name sound any more like it
should be licked</i>) who commanded her attention.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the drawing, he wore a simple
tunic, the fabric straining slightly against the muscles in his biceps.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The artist had captured what was
obviously the immense scope of his chest. The chest that undoubtedly held a
heart that beat so true, it put other heartbeats to shame.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thighs</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(Lady Tina DeSilva couldn’t think
past that thought without giggling, because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i>.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They were…nice. Like. Just. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Nice</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Both the Prince and Ryan were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nice</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wondered what they were like
when they kissed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her face flamed at the thought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The knock on the door startled her.
She almost shrieked, but was able to swallow it down.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She put her hand to her heaving
bosom, trying to calm herself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who is it?” she asked, wincing as
her voice came out breathy and light.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My lady,” the governess said. “Open
the door, please.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina had never wished for a person’s
death more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She shoved the paper under her
pillow and stalked to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She knew she must look a-fright,
flushed and panting, scowling deeply. But she couldn’t find herself to care.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Am I…interrupting something?” her
governess asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” Tina snapped. “Make this
quick so I can get back to it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my,” the governess said. “My
Lady, that is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">highly</i> inappropriate to
being doing so soon after school! At least wait until nightfall before
you…carnally take yourself.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What</i>!”
Tina shouted. “I wasn’t carnally taking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything</i>.
How <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dare</i> you! I am a motherfucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lady</i>!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,”
the governess said. “Everyone does it. I do it. Your mother does it. Sometimes
your mother does it with your father.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No,” Tina moaned. “No, no, no.” She
tried to slam the door, but the governess stopped her. Tina wondered if she
practiced witchcraft. That would explain her abnormal strength. She would have
to request that her parents burn her at the stake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” the governess said. “To be
honest, I was wondering when you would feel the first blush of womanhood. The
need to just…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">take</i>. This is a
perfectly natural thing that happens. You see something that…piques your
interest. Sometimes it’s a person. Other times, it might be a memory.
Sometimes, it could even be a squirrel or a tree, the point is you feel this
way because you’re becoming a woman. It’s okay to put your hand on your monkey
and—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you leave now,” Tina said, “I
won’t tell my parents about the hash brownies you eat on the weekends. Or about
how you are telling me to put my hand on my monkey. ”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Leaving,” the governess said, and
did just that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina shut the door.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t want this. She didn’t
want to be like the governess with her monkey.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">couldn’t</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wouldn’t look at the picture
again. She wouldn’t even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think</i> about
Ryan Foxheart again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And that’s final,” she said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To be fair to Lady Tina DeSilva, it
was not a battle she could have won. Because Ryan Foxheart <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed. She stood no
chance in the face of his chiseled jaw, his farm boy smile, his teeth and nose
and the hair on his arms and the way he looked like all he wanted to do was
cradle Justin against his chest…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’ll be fine,” she said. “This
won’t be a problem. It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">won’t</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because Lady Tina DeSilva did not do
things halfway. When she committed to something, she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">committed</i>. And when it came to Knight Ryan Foxheart, she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">committed</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Within the month, Tina was convinced
that without a doubt, she was the leader in the field of study of Ryan
Foxheartology.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She read every periodical devoted to
Ryan Foxheart she could get her hands on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Knight
Tales</i>? Read it. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dreamboats of Lockes</i>?
Read it three times.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>She even bought
the yearly calendar the Castle Knights released for charity (and oh my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gods</i>, she just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> the whole thing had been Ryan’s idea because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that’s just the type of person he was</i>.
Ryan was Mr. March. When it turned to April, she couldn’t bear to flip to the
next month, and told herself she was fine with never actually knowing the date.
It would always be March because it would always be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan</i>.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she knew <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so</i> many other things about him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(There were times she wondered if
she and Ryan were meant to be together, but quickly pushed that away because
she understood what True Love was and Ryan and Prince Justin were obviously in
True Love and she would rather fling herself off a cliff than come between that
because they were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">made</i> for each
other..) </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Favorite color? Blue.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Favorite time of year? Autumn.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Favorite animal? Unicorns.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Favorite food? Meatloaf.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The thing he’d do if he wasn’t a
knight? He’d have a farm where he kept puppies and kittens that he’d rescued
from abusive owners.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Favorite person in the world? Prince
Justin, of course. As if there could be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anyone</i>
else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He also liked tea, long walks
through the City of Lockes, and smiling like literal sunshine. He was selfless
and kind and when she was alone and no one around to see her flush, Tina would
whisper into her pillow that she thought he had a nice butt and that he
probably gave the best hugs and smelled like her dreams.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So it was a problem, but like all
problems Lady Tina DeSilva faced, it was not without a solution.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that solution was to absolutely
devote herself in Ryan Foxheart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why, nothing else even remotely made
sense.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She saw it in the back of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All Knight Long!</i> She’d just read an
interview where Ryan talked about how much being a knight meant to him, how
he’d worked so hard for it, and that he was appreciative of everything that had
come his way (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so dreamy!!!!</i> she would
later write in her journal with a pink glitter pen. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He is soooo perfect and I just want to touch his face with my face!!!!
xoxoxox)</i>. The only thing that had thrown her off about the interview had
been when Ryan had spent three quarters (maybe a little more) of it talking
about how much he admired wizards and magic and wizarding things and how cool
they were and how he wished he could be friends with wizards and hang out with
them and talk with them and do stuff with them like magic and going for cake.
She didn’t know where that had come from, but she was sure the reporter had
misheard most of it and had incorrectly documented the conversation. Lady Tina
was ready to pen a letter to the editor of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All
Knight Long!</i> to reprimand them for their journalistic failings when she saw
it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Up until that point, Lady Tina
DeSilva hadn’t believed in the gods.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was like they were giving this
gift <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just for her.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The ad read:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Are
you a fan of Knight Ryan Foxheart?</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes, she was. The biggest fan.</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"></span></i>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Do
you love everything about him?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes, she did. Literally everything.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So
do we! Come talk with other lovers of the dreamiest knight ever! The Ryan
Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter is currently accepting new members. We
meet three times monthly to talk about the greatest knight in Veranian history
Ryan Foxheart!!!!! All ages welcome. Please see Lady Karen Beckman for a
membership application.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This was the greatest day of Lady Tina
DeSilva’s life.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was the worst day of Lady Tina
DeSilva’s life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d filled out the membership for
the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d worn her prettiest dress. Her
makeup was applied with skill and precision.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was armed with an arsenal of
Ryan Foxheart facts. She knew <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>
about him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The first meeting she attended was
held at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Madam Christie’s Tea Room</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She expected to be lauded.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She expected to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">adored</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone</i> in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">goddamned</i>
fan club had hearts in their eyes for Lady Karen Beckman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She knows <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i> about Ryan,” a woman named Nicole whispered to Tina.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina frowned. “But…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> know everything about him.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Nicole nodded. “Yeah, but she knows <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina hadn’t come to her first fan
club meeting expecting to make an enemy. But the unfortunate reality was that
sometimes, enemies could come when you least expected them. Tina knew this
almost better than anyone else. For a moment, she felt a twinge of guilt,
knowing that Lady Karen Beckman would have to be removed from her position as
President of the fan club. It was really rather tragic, too. Tina had though
they could have been friends.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Three meetings later, Lady Tina DeSilva
graciously accepted the position of President to the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club
Castle Lockes Chapter. If asked, no one in the fan club could quite say how it
happened. One day Lady Karen was there, and the next, she was apparently moving
to Meridian City for health related reasons. Everyone in the fan club was certainly
sympathetic and threw her a going away party. There was mint tea and little
finger sandwiches. No one saw the way Lady Karen paled when Lady Tina smiled at
her. And if they did, well. She was in ill health. It was to be expected.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina had everything she could have
ever wanted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was approaching sixteen years of
age.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was rich.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was beautiful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">powerful</i>.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She commanded a group of women who
held the same interests as her (well, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">interest</i>,
maybe, because they really had nothing else in common and when they weren’t
talking about Ryan or Rystin, then they had nothing really to say to each
other; it was a good thing that they could talk about Ryan and Rystin for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hours</i>).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everything was perfect.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everything was wonderful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he</i> came.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Deidre,” Tina said from the head of
the table in the tea shop. “Could you please read the minutes form the last
meeting?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It sounded like a question asked
politely, but both Deidre and Tina both knew that if Deidre didn’t get her ass
up from the seat in the next three seconds, they were going to have a problem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Deidre squeaked and stood quickly.
She looked down at her paper and started to mumble. Tina could barely restrain
the urge to reach out and slap her face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Opening minutes. President Tina
called the meeting to order and presented two topics for discussion. Ryan
Foxheart’s jawline or Ryan Foxheart’s mouth. There was a debate that lasted
forty-seven minutes where the virtues of each topic were discussed in detail
and—”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sweet molasses,” a voice said. “I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> I was going to be late. Goddamn
Gary and his stupid—”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle
Lockes Chapter fell silent and slowly turned to look at the intruder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The skin under Lady Tina’s left eye
twitched.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Before them stood a young man with
the most ridiculous beard she’d ever seen. It was long and looked unkempt and
probably was festering with lice and diseases. His hair just flopped all over
his head and Tina doubted it’d <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i>
seen a comb. She couldn’t really tell his age under all the hair sprouting from
his head, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something</i> about him
just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">irked the royal shit out of her</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello,” the man said, voice deeper
than it’d been before, like he was gargling with rocks. “I’m here to join
your…club. I heard about it through…people. Who like…stuff.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina couldn’t keep the scorn from
her voice. “People. Who like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stuff</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” the man said, adjusting his
thick glasses. “Stuff. You know. And things.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you even know what we are?” she
asked haughtily. “We are the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">premier</i>
chapter of the—”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ryan Foxheart Fan Club,” he said.
“Yes, I know. And I’d like to join.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But—but,” she sputtered. “You’re a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">boy</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not that we care about that kind of
thing,” Mary said. She was the oldest out of the group and took the least
amount of shit. Tina disliked her the most. “Everyone is welcome here.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good,” the man said cheerfully.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What if he’s a spy?” Tina hissed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“For who?” Nicole asked, looking at
the man in a new light. “Someone is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">spying
</i>on us? I don’t know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything</i>
about the prostitution ring me and my husband run—I mean, I have no idea what
you’re talking about.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not a spy,” the man said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Prove it,” Tina said. “For all we
know, you’re reporting back to another club, trying to steal all of our ideas!
How do we even know you’re a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i>
Ryan Foxheart fan?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay,” the man said, pulling out a
chair and sitting down at the table next to Mary like he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">belonged here</i>. “How should I prove it?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Mary patted his hand. That cunt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina glowered at him. “If you’re a
true fan, you would know his birthday.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“March 26<sup>th</sup>,” he said
without hesitation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Godsdammit. “What side of the bed
does he sleep on?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Whatever side is closest to the
door in case of an attack.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oooh,” the rest of the group said. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Those bitches.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What is his greatest aspiration?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“To become Knight Commander.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What is his waist size?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“32.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh my gods,” Nicole breathed. “This is so
erotic.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Nicole,” Tina barked. “Keep your skank to
yourself!” She turned her glare back to this…this<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> interloper</i>. She’d finish him and he would leave limping because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no</i> one knew as much as she did. “Ryan’s
grade point average at the Knight Academy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“3.72.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“His favorite thing about Justin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The man made a face. “His sense of self.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Tina almost sighed dreamily at that, but
was able to hold it back. After all, this was war. “His middle name.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He doesn’t have one.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“How long can he hold his breath underwater?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Four minutes and sixteen seconds.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Wanda began fanning herself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“A talent he has that he’s embarrassed
about!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He can touch his tongue to his elbow!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He can touch his tongue to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i> elbow any day,” Courtney said, and
the other girls tittered their agreement.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“His favorite book!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Butler and the Manticore!</i>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It went on. And on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For another ten minutes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By the time they’d finished,
everyone was panting while drowning in a deluge of everything Ryan Foxheart.
Even the man appeared flushed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I need a cigarette,” Nicole said,
leaning back running a napkin over her brow. “That was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I think he’s proven he’s a fan,”
Mary said pointedly to Tina.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fine,” Tina growled. He wouldn’t
last long. She’d make sure of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The man grinned at her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s your name?” Wanda asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And how do you know so much about
Ryan?” Crissy asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The man shrugged and cleared his
throat. “Uh. Well. He’s. I just. He’s. I mean—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s very handsome,” Mary said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,” the man said, turning bright
red. “That. And my name is Mervin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mervin</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It had a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">name</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">horrible</i> one at that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No matter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina would make sure she took care
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mervin</i> just like she did everyone
else who got in her way. By the time she was done with him, he’d never <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i> try and cross her again.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It happened two meetings later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So, this week’s Rystin sighting
occurred in the Arcadia District,” Tina was saying. “It has been confirmed they
were side by side, but for propriety’s sake, they weren’t holding hands.
Witnesses say that Ryan looked the happiest he’d ever been in his entire life
and his sole focus was on make sure Justin could have anything he ever wanted
ever and that they were so in love that the rest of the world didn’t seem to
matter to them at all.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mervin snorted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina ground her teeth together.
“Something to add?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, no,” Mervin said. “Everything
you said seems completely realistic.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good. So, Justin supposedly was
wearing—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Rystin, though,” Mervin said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina sighed and tried to find every
ounce of patience she had left. “Yes, Mervin. Rystin. Good job. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Everyone</i> knows about Rystin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But that doesn’t even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sound</i> cool. Not like HaveHeart.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Like what?” Deidre asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“HaveHeart,” Delores said. “What’s
that?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is that a new thing I wasn’t even
aware of?” Nicole demanded. “Tell me what it means!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ooo,” Mary said, eyes going wide.
“Oh my Gods, how could I have never <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">seen</i>
that before? That’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">perfect</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What is it?” Wanda asked. “Who are
we shipping now? Tell me who to ship!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No, Tina thought. No. No. No.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s Ryan Foxheart and Sam
Haversford,” Mary said. “The apprentice to the King’s Wizard.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my gods,” Crissy moaned. “My <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ovaries</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This,” Courtney breathed. “This
could totally be a thing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wizard</i>?” Tina spat. “Are you all out of your godsdamn <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">minds</i>? What the hell does a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wizard</i> have to do with Ryan Foxheart?
And HaveHeart? I have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> heard of
anything more ridiculous in my life! You can’t just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ship </i>names however you want. That’s not how this works. Rystin is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real </i>because they’re <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually</i> together. You can’t come in
here and mess that up. They are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">meant</i>
to be together forever and they will have perfect babies and live perfect lives
and everything will be wonderful and perfect and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nothing will hurt ever again</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was breathing heavily by the
time she finished.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Panting, really.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So unbecoming of a lady of her
merit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everyone else was staring at her,
looks of fear on their faces.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Except for Mervin. Beyond the horror
show that was his facial hair, she thought maybe he looked hurt for a moment.
But it passed and he winked at her. “I dunno,” he said. “HaveHeart might just
give Rystin a run for its money.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And oh my gods, she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">despised him</i>.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That night, she screamed into her
pillow to try and rid herself of some of the rage welling up inside her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It almost worked.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She prepared herself for war before
each meeting, knowing for the first time in her life that she had an enemy that
wouldn’t back down by the sheer force of her will alone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Every time they met on the
battlefield that was the tea shop, the verbal sparring was deep and cutting and
she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> she won <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every single time</i>, though Mervin didn’t seem to be adversely
affected by her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He just kept coming back for more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t understand.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She thought maybe he was a demon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she knew it was her duty to rid
the world of this evil.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They talked about HaveHeart almost
as much as they talked about Rystin at the meetings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She seethed.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her governess told her the news that
Prince Justin had been kidnapped by a dragon and that Sam of Wilds had been
hurt in the process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d never experienced such
overwhelming pain and rapturous joy all at the same time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was a really odd feeling, like
she had lady gas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She grieved over Justin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She hoped Sam of Wilds was burned
over 94% percent of his body.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina knew she was an emotionally
complex person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Feelings were hard.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was right <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Knight <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Commander</i> Ryan Foxheart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was standing near them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">talking to them</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina was almost at a loss for words.
She couldn’t believe that the object of every sexual desire she’d ever had was
standing right in front of them. Of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Knight Commander,” she purred. “How
very kind of you to take time out of your busy schedule to come and mingle with
the ladies.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mervin muttered something, but she
ignored him. She didn’t have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">time</i> for
him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you some kind of special
group?” Ryan asked, and gods, even his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">voice</i>
caused goosebumps on her skin. She wondered if it would be too forward of her
to ask if she could have a lock of his hair and be able to sniff his neck.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">any</i> social group,” she said. “This is the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club
Castle Lockes Chapter. We are the largest Foxheart Fan Club in all of the city
of Lockes. We’re the Foxy Ladies.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well,” Mary said, and who had given
her <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">any</i> right to speak. “The Foxy
People. We don’t discriminate.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina decided to change the charter
to allow discrimination.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fan Club?” Ryan asked and he
sounded so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">surprised</i> that Tina wanted
to buy him cookies and feed them to him by hand. “Oh wow. He wasn’t kidding
when he said that.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who?” Tina asked, wondering just
how far their reach had spread. She was going to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">famous</i>—</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sam,” Ryan said. “He’s a…friend of
mine.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam of Wilds knew about them?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina was relieved there was nothing
sharp within her reach because she feared she would stab someone. And
everything just began to devolve from there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“HaveHeart is where pairings go to
die,” she growled, trying to regain control of this mess that was all <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mervin’s</i> fault, even if he’d been
strangely quiet this whole time. “Long live Rystin!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it was made <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worse</i> when Ryan said the stupidest thing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do I know you from somewhere?” he
asked Mervin. “You seem familiar.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nope,” Mervin said quickly. “I
don’t know you. I’m just here to do business. For my business.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And Tina knew.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mervin
was lying.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She had underestimated him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wouldn’t allow that to happen
again. She would find out what he was hiding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It wasn’t until she yelled at Mervin
for chasing Ryan away later that she realized she would probably have to kill
him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was her turn to bring muffins to
the next meeting. She would put so many blueberries in his. He was allergic. He
would choke. He would die. And Tina would finally be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">free</i> of him.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But Mervin never showed for the next
meeting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Or the one after that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Or the one after that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In fact, no one seemed to know where
he went.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And when asked, no one around Castle
Lockes had ever heard of a business man named Mervin before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was like he hadn’t really existed
at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina should have been happy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was. Mostly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But there was a small part of her
that thought maybe it wasn’t over.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The day Justin and Ryan rode into
town alone was the greatest day in the history of Verania. She was certain most
everyone agreed. She went to the castle gates along with everyone else and
cheered and screamed and cried when Justin stood with the Good King and Ryan,
waving at the crowd, a tight smile on his face. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan just looked miserable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She hoped he was all right. He was
probably ill and just super overwhelmed with finally being at home with the
love of his life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t see Sam of Wilds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She hoped he’d been eaten by the
dragon.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mother?” Tina said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, dear.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You know how Justin is getting
married to Ryan Foxheart?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her mother sighed. “Yes, dear.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We need to be invited.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That might be very hard to come by,”
her mother said slowly. “You know how limited the invitations are going to be.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina cocked her head. “Oh,” she
said. “I can see how that was confusing for you. You thought I was asking a
question. Let me try and make it clearer to you. Mother.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her mother coughed a little. Quite
possibly in fear. “Yes?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i> to be invited,” Tina said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her mother nodded quickly. “I’ll see
what I can do.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“See?” Tina said. “That wasn’t so
hard.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was going to be the best day
ever.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She sat in an aisle seat. She had
the most wonderful view of Ryan Foxheart standing at the altar. He looked so
dashing and immaculate. Her armpits were sweating because of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She tried not to allow her extreme
distaste show on her face as Ryan allowed that godsdamned <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">horse</i> belonging to Sam of Wilds saunter down the aisle like he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">owned</i> the place. He was supposed to be a
unicorn, but Tina had very serious doubts about his heritage, given that he
didn’t even have a horn. He was followed by the gigantic moron that made up the
last part of Sam of Wilds’ cabal, and she barely restrained the eye roll when
he ran to follow the fauxicorn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam was announced and Tina planned
on smiling sweetly at him while thinking murderous thoughts in his direction.
But she blamed it on the heat of the room when all she could do was glare at
him as he walked toward her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It mattered not. Today was her
victory day. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Long live Rystin!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He stopped in front of her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She paused fanning herself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He looked at her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She looked back at him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She thought he was going to speak,
which she found odd because he didn’t even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i>
her. Who was he to think he could address her in front everyone? He was an
embarrassment who didn’t deserve to even be mentioned in the same <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">breath</i> as Ryan Foxheart, much less stand
next to him on the happiest day of Ryan’s life. Maybe he would—</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My muffins were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> dry, you abhorrent wench,” Sam of
Wilds said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then he winked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina’s breath caught in her throat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her heart just about stopped.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She hissed, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’ll never prove it,” Sam of
Wilds said before turning back down the aisle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, it should be said that Lady
Tina DeSilva had experienced anger most of her life. If asked, she would admit
to having anger…issues, but nothing that she couldn’t control. Sure, there may
have been times when her anger had gotten the better of her and she’d maybe
punched someone in the throat or attempted to burn down their house, but that
was perfectly <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">normal</i> for a sixteen
year old girl thrust into womanhood. Hormones could get the better of you on a
good day, so she couldn’t be held completely responsible for her actions when
angered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This, though.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was different.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because this was a white-hot rage
that she could barely even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">breathe </i>around,
much less focus her ire.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was mortified.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was furious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wanted to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">murder something cute</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She almost followed Sam down the
aisle just to wrap her fingers around his throat and throttle him until his
eyes rolled back into his head and his heart stopped.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it wasn’t because he was Mervin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It wasn’t because of HaveHeart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It wasn’t because of anything having
to do with Ryan or Justin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No, it was because Sam of Wilds had
gotten the upper hand over Tina.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And had done so for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">months</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was almost like…like he…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Like he was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">smarter</i> than her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The boy from the slums.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Who hadn’t deserved <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything, </i>but had been given <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She thought it a very real
possibility that she was about to scream, but she didn’t have her pillow to put
her face into.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was barely able to hold it back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because
she was Lady Tina De-fucking-Silva and she could do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But, of course like any tragic hero,
her downfall occurred only moments later and her <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">true</i> destiny began.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it was all because of Ryan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan Foxheart, the one she had trusted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The one she had loved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And he was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">betraying her</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Because,” Ryan Foxheart said. “I
don’t love Justin. My heart belongs to another.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She screamed internally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Outwardly, her face was a frozen
mask of surprise.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My mother,” Ryan said, “told me that
I had to follow my heart in all things. I thought I was. I thought I’d done
what was right. But then I looked upon the stars and I wished for the one thing
I wanted more than anything else. I didn’t believe it could ever come true or
ever be mine, but then I held his lightning-struck heart, given freely and
without reservation. And I would gladly treasure it for the rest of my days.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was talking about Sam.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam of Wilds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">HaveHeart
was real</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everyone around her sighed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina only barely stopped herself
from vomiting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It wasn’t until later when the Darks
burst into the throne room that she realized that this was just a mild bump in
the road. As the Darks went to battle with the people of Verania, Tina knew
with all of her heart that she could fix this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was her calling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She had been put upon this earth for
this <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">very moment</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was just a bump in the road.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She
could fix this</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And should would.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Rystin forever.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She canceled the next few meetings
of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter, only because she needed
some time away from it. She knew it would be a little while before she could
even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think</i> about Ryan without wanting
to kill every living thing in her path, so she took a break.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Granted, it was during this break
that she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually</i> plotted murder, but
it was a necessary thing. After all, it wasn’t fair that Sam of Wilds could
just come in and ruin <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, to make matters worse, she was
beginning to see just how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">beloved</i> he
was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was not something she expected.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For all her disdain of HaveHeart,
for all her annoyance at Mervin or the others bringing up Sam again and again,
the truth was that she really hadn’t given him much thought. She didn’t really
talk about him, she didn’t really focus on others who did. Before this whole…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mess</i>, she just blocked him out. He was a
non-entity to her. Sure, other people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">shipped</i>
him with Ryan, but there was no accounting for taste, right? After all, she’d
known that the true relationship was Rystin, because they actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had</i> been in a relationship.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But now that Sam had become a home
wrecking twat, it was like he was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everywhere</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">adored him</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She heard many tales of how villains
both big and small had been utterly charmed by Sam, even as they’d been in the
process of trying to capture or kill him. How mystical creatures from fairies
to dragons all wanted to ravage him…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sexually</i>.
How he had two parents who worshipped the ground he walked on. How he had a
mentor who was one of the greatest wizards of all time. How even the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">head</i> wizard, Randall himself, as
begrudging as it seemed, loved Sam. The godsdamn King of Verania bent over
backwards and spread his legs for a wizard’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">apprentice</i>. Even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Justin</i>
was seen with Sam after the whole wedding debacle. Granted, he was always
grimacing and looking extremely putout, but still. Why was he not chopping off
Sam’s head? There hadn’t been a good public beheading in a long while! Tina
would attend! She would attend <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so hard</i>!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>All in all, Tina was not pleased.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At first, she thought that maybe Sam
had cast a spell, its effects far-reaching, covering all corners of Verania.
There were whispers of his immense power, and she wondered if it were possible
for him to have brainwashed every single person until they though he shit
rainbows and sunshine. Because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">seriously</i>.
No one could be that well liked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But then, if that were the case, why
wasn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she</i> affected?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Either she had an immunity to magic,
or he hadn’t cast a spell at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t know which depressed her
more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But the more she subtly asked
around, the more she saw that from the slums to the richest part of the City of
Lockes, Sam had the ear and the will of the people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she didn’t know how to change
that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then she thought maybe something was
wrong with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her</i> and maybe Sam <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> just really likeable. But then she
realized that couldn’t be further from the truth, because she was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">amazing</i> and Sam of Wilds ruined
everything good in the world, so it obviously couldn’t be true. She felt much
better after deciding that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Four weeks after the failed wedding,
she had a brief thought that pierced through the fog of anger that she’d been
shrouded in. She was sitting at her desk in her room, humming quietly as she
used a letter opener to scratch the eyes out of picture after picture of Sam of
Wilds she had gotten her hands on. Above her desk, on a shelf, sat two dolls.
Each one had a picture sewn on to its face. The one on the left was Prince
Justin. The one on the right was Knight Commander Foxheart. They were holding
hands. It was wonderful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And as she took a fresh picture of
Sam of Wilds and starting scraping away his eyes, Tina had that brief thought,
that very <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i> thought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Maybe
I’m becoming too obsessed with this. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She laughed and shook her head</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Of course she wasn’t obsessed with
Sam of Wilds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why, that would just be ridiculous.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She placed out a notice, advising
the members of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter that the
meetings would resume. In a moment of weakness, she sent a note to the castle
addressed to Prince Justin, asking if he would like to come to the meeting.
Granted, she didn’t call it the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club in the note, because she
wasn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">callous</i>, for heaven’s sake,
but she would just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">be over the moon if
you could attend. There will be muffins. Blueberry muffins. In fact, there
might be many blueberry dishes so anyone that happens to be allergic to
blueberries wouldn’t be able to come within a five mile radius without having a
severe allergic reaction and dying a painful and horrible death on the streets while
we watch and sip our tea and enjoy the summer afternoon.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She hoped he understood her
subtlety.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(It would be the perfect crime.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The day of the meeting, she dressed
with her usual care. Her makeup was flawless. Her hair was perfect. She smiled
at herself in the mirror. It was really a beautiful smile, she thought to
herself. Anyone would be lucky to see it. Justin would certainly be pleased by
it. Maybe even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i> than pleased.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was going to be most
excellent.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She arrived early at the tea shop.
The proprietor smiled at her, though it came out as more of a grimace. She let
him know that they would take their tea outside today. She also asked if he’d
gotten her order of blueberry muffins. And scones. And donuts. And pie. And
juice. And crumble. And cobbler and pancakes and jams.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had. He also inquired why she
needed so many blueberry dishes. And that she’d better be good for it. And that
maybe she should start looking for someplace else to hold these meetings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She said, “You know, my father knows
the owner of the buildings on these blocks. I would be so upset if you found
yourself evicted and destitute and homeless and then got stabbed by a gang in
an alleyway late one night.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He gave her a discount.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was seated at the head of the
table when the others arrived.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Deidre took her place next to Tina,
looking perpetually nervous, eyes cast down at her hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As soon as they were seated, Tina
eyed each of them in turn, wondering if any of them had known about Mervin, if
any of them were in on some plot to take over the fan club.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Her</i>
fan club.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d made the decision previously
to keep Mervin’s identity a secret, to see if she could ferret out any further
moles in the group. She didn’t trust a single lady at the table, aside from
herself. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She paused when she stared at Mary.
Mary seemed likely to have been in cahoots with Sam of Wilds. She always did
try and crawl up Mervin’s ass while he was here. Most would have probably
called it just being nice, but Tina knew it for what it was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They began to fidget.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She said, “Welcome,” in a polite,
even voice. “It is lovely to see you all again.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They sighed and relaxed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina was so good with little sheep.
So, so good.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Now,” she said. “Things have
been…trying, to say the least.” She looked off into the distance, allowing her
eyes to fill with tears. She sniffled, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just
a little bit</i>, to add to the full effect. “As I am sure you are all aware,
Rystin is….” She broke off purposefully, as if the thought alone was so
overwhelming, it’d robbed her of her words. And it had been. At first. But
she’d had time. To plan. To scheme.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Deidre hesitated only briefly before
handing over a soft and embroidered handkerchief. Tina accepted it with a
watery smile and dabbed her eyes daintily. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought
I’d had time to accept it. But it’s still so hard.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sure it is,” Mary said slowly.
“But shouldn’t we just be happy that Ryan has the person he wanted to be with?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mary</i>, we don’t have to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">happy</i>
about that,” Tina snapped, eyes drying almost instantly. “In fact, we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">shouldn’t</i> be happy about that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We…shouldn’t?” Nicole asked,
sounding confused.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I thought we were happy,” Wanda
whispered to Crissy, who just shrugged.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I like Sam,” Courtney said, and
Tina wondered if anyone would miss Courtney if she was found accidentally
dismembered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I thought this was just supposed to
be about Ryan,” Deloris said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Exactly</i>,”
Tina said. “It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> about Ryan. And his
best interests. Which is why I have decided that we should consider renaming
the club to the Rystin Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. Because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> would have Ryan’s best interests at
heart.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They stared at her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s not exactly what I meant—”
Deloris tried to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you, Deloris,” Tina said
loudly, overriding her. “Your input has certainly already been said. No need to
rehash, my gods, do you ever stop talking. Now, since this really doesn’t need
to be put up to a vote—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But,” Deidre said, “our bylaws say
that we vote on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Since
everyone already agrees and there’s no need to vote</i>, I suggest we move onto
the second part of the meeting,” Tina said, kicking Deidre underneath the
table.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I didn’t know our meetings had
parts,” Nicole said, sounding nervous. “Usually, we just talk about what we
think Ryan Foxheart’s nipples look like for three hours.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I still think they are probably
like little chocolates,” Wanda said. “That would melt in my mouth.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No one wants to hear about your
weird sexual melting nipple kink, Wanda,” Tina said. “Your perversions are
weird and should be never spoken aloud.” She took a deep breath and let it out
slow, trying to regain her composure. “Now. As I was saying, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">second</i> part of today’s meeting happens
to be an original real person fan fiction I’ve written about our two favorite
people. Ryan and Justin. I’d like to read it aloud to you, if I may.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is it going to be porny?” Wanda
asked. “The last fan fiction you wrote and read aloud was seventeen thousand
words of porn and it made me uncomfortable when you started describing felching
in great detail. For seven minutes.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m only twelve,” Deidre said
miserably. “I shouldn’t even know what felching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> porn,” Tina said. “It’s beautiful lovemaking and should be
cherished and respected and everyone will sit and listen to it and love it, so
help me gods.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Where’s Mervin?” Mary asked,
because she was the most evil <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bitch</i>.
“Shouldn’t he be here—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina narrowed her eyes. “Mervin
responded to my invitation and told me that he had lost his legs when he tried
to fornicate with a bear, now can we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">please</i>
focus on my story?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He tried to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i> with a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My story!” Tina said shrilly. “Is
called ‘Lover’s Loving Love: Don’t Go Rystin My Heart’.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ooh,” the ladies said, because
regardless of where their loyalties lay, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no
one</i> could resist a fictionalized account of true love between real people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This pleased Lady Tina greatly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And she was going to rock the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">shit </i>of this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She said, “Once upon a time, there
was a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">beautiful</i>—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here</i>
they are,” a voice trilled. “I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i>
we’d find them. I can’t believe he tried to keep this from us. That bitch. Who
does he think he is?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">grated</i> against Tina’s bones, because who <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dared</i> to interrupt her story?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They all looked out onto the street
and saw the oddest sight.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Standing there, looking expectant, was
a unicorn and a half-giant.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina frowned, because they looked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">familiar</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But she couldn’t quite figure it
out. For one, both the unicorn and the half-giant had long, brown beards that
reminded her of a certain former member of the Fan Club who she would never
waste another breath on. For a moment, she thought that maybe it was the
unicorn and the half-giant that hung around with that asshole, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> unicorn had a horn. Sure, it was
sitting at a weird angle and looked like it was made of paper and taped to his
head, but Tina had never met a unicorn with a horn before and couldn’t say if
that’s what they normally looked like.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who are you?” she asked
suspiciously.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we</i>?” the unicorn said. He turned and butted his head against the
half-giant. “Oh my gods, it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worked</i>. I
am a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">genius</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You a pretty genius,” the half
giant rumbled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you, kitten. I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> pretty, aren’t I? I would say that it
had to do with the strict skin care regiment I have going on, but you know
what? Ninety percent of that is just my flawless genetics. I can’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> look pretty. It’s hard being this
fabulous all the time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I fabulous too,” the half-giant
said. “My face is fabulous.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That it is, dear heart. Every time
I see it, I want to kiss it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We kissing buddies.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That we are. Though, don’t let my
better half hear you say that. He would probably ask to sit there and watch.
He’s so perverted, it’s adorable.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Excuse
me,</i>” Lady Tina said. “Just who are you and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">why</i> are you interrupting us?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh,” the unicorn said. “We’re…from
out of town. Visiting. Yes, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">visiting</i>
for the first time. Ever. Small town visitors in the big city! Doing the
touristy stuff. We heard about this magical club from…people. And we wanted to
come and witness the…joy that is apparently you. I mean Ryan Foxheart. Because
he is…dreamy.” The unicorn grimaced. “Or something.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Knight Delicious Face in my
dreams,” the half-giant agreed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“New members!” Nicole said, clapping
her hands. “It’s been so long since we’ve had new members.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mervin was the last,” Mary said
sadly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” the unicorn said, sounding
slightly strangled. “Mervin. Your last new member.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know Mervin,” the half-giant
said. “He’s—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The one who told us about this fan
club,” the unicorn said quickly. “And how he misses all of you and wishes he
could be here.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He did?” the half-giant. “But I
thought he said we couldn’t come and you lied and said we wouldn’t and here we
are.”<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Something like that,” the
unicorn said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What the hell,” Tina muttered.
Then, “Fine. Whatever. What are your names?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uhh,” the unicorn said, shifting
his eyes side to side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Larry. And this
is my best friend…Wiggy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We scope out mens,” Wiggy said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That is a thing we do, yes,” Larry
said. “We’re all about the mens.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We take the matter of Ryan Foxheart
very seriously here,” Tina said. “If you don’t think you can worship at the
altar that is his everything, then I’m sure there are other clubs you can join,
even if they’ll most likely be terrible and shameful and nothing like mine.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Right,” Larry said. “I take Ryan
Foxheart very seriously.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s not your serious face,”
Wiggy said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I didn’t know unicorns could grow
beards,” Nicole said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you know any other unicorns?”
Larry asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well…no.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay then,” Larry said. “Shut up.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I like him,” Nicole said to the
others.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They murmured their assent.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina, of course, hated them on
principle. It wouldn’t do to have new people thinking she was a pushover. She
wouldn’t stand for any dissension in the ranks. She knew she had to rule with
an iron fist to make sure the club didn’t go off course more than it already
had. The disgusting tragedy that was the HaveHeart reality had already shaken
the very foundation of what she stood for. If she was a lesser person, she
probably would have already been plotting ways to remove the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Have</i> from the HaveHeart. Luckily for
everyone, Tina <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wasn’t</i> a lesser person
and only plotted these plots in her head. Some of her favorite dreams were when
Sam, dressed as Mervin, was mauled by a manticore and then dropped off a cliff
into a lake of lava, where he died a slow, miserable, and painful death while
she sat in a comfortable chair above him sipping lemonade and spectating.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Besides, she didn’t even know where
she could get a manticore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you decided you want to come to
a Ryan Foxheart fan club meeting because of your deep and abiding love for all
things Ryan Foxheart?” Tina asked Larry and Wiggy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” Larry said. “My deep and
abiding love.”<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s so deep,” Wiggy said.
“All the way deep.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What is your favorite thing about
him?” Tina asked, narrowing her eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Um,” Larry said. “There’s…so many
things. I don’t know if I could pick just one.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Try,” Tina said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay. Um. Like. You know when
he…talks? About stuff?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Talkin’ bout stuff,” Wiggy agreed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What stuff?” Tina asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Like,” Larry said. “Puppies.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The fan club sighed. “Do you
remember when he helped fund the charity for the animal shelter?” Crissy asked.
“He was laying on the ground and all those puppies were climbing all over him.”<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It gave me feelings,” Nicole
admitted. “You know. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Down there</i>. He <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i> gives me feelings down there.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tina
muttered, even though she agreed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can’t get those feelings yet,”
Deidre said, sounding sad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’ll get there,” Mary said. “I,
for one, can’t wait until their over. I’m stuck right in the middle of hot
flashes these days. There are days I just want to sit on a block of ice and
never move.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I would sit on Ryan Foxheart,”
Wanda blurted. “If he was a block of ice. Or a person. Or anything, really.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Of course you would,” Delores said.
“He’s just the right size to sit on.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hands</i>,” Crissy said. “Have you seen the size of his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hands</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want him to spank me!” Courtney
shrieked slightly, face turning red. “My husband won’t do it, but I want Ryan
Foxheart to!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And I bet it would be a really good
spanking,” Nicole said, eyes glinting. “His hands are all calloused from
carrying that big sword of his.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my gods,” Larry choked out.
“This is what you guys talk about the whole time? No wonder S…uh, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mervin</i>, loved being here so much. This
is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">amazing</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is he still creepy Mervin?” Wiggy
whispered loudly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So creepy,” Larry said. “We have to
give him so much shit for this later. This is a smut club!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> a smut club,” Tina growled. “We talk about very real issues
here pertaining to Ryan Foxheart.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve seen his abs,” Larry said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What</i>?”
Nicole said. “How in the name of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuck</i>
did you—no. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No</i>. You will tell me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>, or I swear to the gods—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And there’s the hot flash,” Mary
said, fanning herself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My husband doesn’t have abs,”
Courtney said. “He drinks too much beer and has a hairy belly button. I am
disappointed with all my life’s choices.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you think he touches his abs
with his hands?” Crissy wondered aloud. “Like, just…sits there with his shirt
off and just…rubs his stomach?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Deidre burst into tears as she
wailed, “I will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> get to see him
do that!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How many does he have?” Wanda
asked. “A six pack? An eight pack? Oh my gods, a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">twelve</i> pack?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want to roll around on them,” Delores
announced loudly. “And maybe put chocolate on them and tell him he’s been a bad
boy, a very bad boy and then I would spank him and then I would wrap him in a
blanket and rock him to sleep and he would be mine forever.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is so much better than I could
even dream about,” Larry breathed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are these all crazy ladies?” Wiggy
whispered to Larry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Probably,” Larry said. “But that
means Mervin was a crazy lady too.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wiggy frowned. “I can see that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mervin wasn’t about the abs,” Mary
said. “Not really.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh gods,” Larry said. “Are you
going to tell me he was all about Ryan’s heart or his intelligence or his
charity or something gross like that?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Of course not,” Mary said. “Mervin
likes Ryan’s ass.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s my boy,” Larry crowed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Everyone shut the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuck up</i>!” Tina shouted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everyone flinched except for the two
new people. That was okay. She’d cow them soon enough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you finished?” she asked,
knowing her tone implied no one should answer that question for fear of
evisceration.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” Larry said. “So finished.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina glared at him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Larry batted his eyelashes at her as
he tossed his mane.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She felt herself melting a little
bit because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh my gods unicorns were so
beautiful and perfect and—</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She shook her head. No. She wouldn’t
be so easily taken in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Before we were…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">interrupted</i>—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Rude,” Larry said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“—I was getting ready to share the
original Rystin love story I wrote. Because everyone knows the world needs more
Rystin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s Rystin?” Wiggy asked Larry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That whole Justin Ryan thing,”
Larry said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s no thing,” Wiggy said,
looking slightly angry. “Ryan loves Sam.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Boom,” Larry said. “Truth bomb just
got all up in your shit.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina knew that the unicorn and the
half-giant were protected by law (and also that murdering something as pure and
innocent as a unicorn was an affront to the gods and nature), but she still
couldn’t help but wonder what their blood would look like spilled upon the
ground.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is why it’s fiction, dear,”
Mary said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina was barely able to hold back
the scream. Because it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wasn’t</i>
fiction. There had been a time when Ryan and Justin had been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">desperately</i> in love before it’d been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ruined</i> by Sam of Wilds. Their love had
burned so brightly. They had been devoted to each other. Ryan <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">worshipped</i> the ground Justin walked on, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everyone</i> knew that. And then a fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wizard’s apprentice</i> had to come along
and ruin <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>—</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why is she grinding her teeth like
that?” Larry asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Because of the rage,” Deidre
whispered, wide-eyed. “Leave before it consumes you too. It’s far too late for
me. But you…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i> can still—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">story</i>,” Tina snarled, “is called ‘Lover’s Loving Love: Don’t Go
Rystin My Heart’.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Larry’s lips twitched under his
beard. “What.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">original work</i> about two star crossed lovers, Ryan and Justin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No,” Larry said. “But seriously. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The last one was porn,” Nicole
whispered to Larry and Wiggy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am so down for this,” Larry said.
“Wiggy, darling, we’re staying. I want to hear the story about Justin and Ryan
porn love or whatever.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s porn?” Wiggy asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Butt sex.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do I like butt sex?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Probably. Everyone does.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is true,” Nicole said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I like butt sex,” Wiggy decided,
and Tina almost chucked her tea cup at his head as he sat down next to the
table and gathered the unicorn up in his arms and pulling him onto his lap.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Aaah,” Larry said, wiggling until
he was comfortable. “That’s so much better.” He looked at Tina expectantly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She stared back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You can begin,” Larry said, as if
it were obvious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She bit the inside of her cheek so
hard, she tasted blood.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But she would not be deterred.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d worked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hard</i> on this story.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">days</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was a labor of love, and she was
its mother, having pushed until it’d fallen out of her, gasping for breath.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She couldn’t have been more proud.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She cleared her throat and began to
read.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Once
upon a time in the Kingdom of Verania, there was a coffee shop called Middle of
the Knight. There was a barista there by the name of Justin. Justin loved
working at Middle of the Knight, because all of the knights came in for coffee.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But there was one knight that was different from all the
rest.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His name was Ryan, and Justin was smitten.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The problem was that Justin was really shy and couldn’t
think of a lot to say. But Justin was super smart and read many books and
people loved him and thought he was a great person, better than wizards and
other people like wizards.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[“Ooh,” Larry said. “This has already raised my
low expectations.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina did her best to ignore him.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But
the biggest problem Justin had was that Ryan already had a boyfriend.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And his boyfriend was most evil asshole in all of
Verania.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>None one liked Ryan’s boyfriend, and sometimes, Justin
thought maybe Ryan’s boyfriend was abusive. He certainly looked like he would
be. He had little weasel eyes and a weird face and he smelled like animals that
had died on the side of the road.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“I bet I know who Ryan’s boyfriend
is,” Larry said, sounding gleeful. “I didn’t know that I’d been living until this
moment.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No spoilers!” Deidre yelped.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And
also, everyone knew that Ryan loved Justin, but they couldn’t be together
because Ryan didn’t know Justin felt the same and because of his boyfriend who
was awful and terrible and should have died a long time ago. No one would have
missed him if he died. Like, not even a single person at all. No one would even
be sad. Even his parents. They’d be happy.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One day, Ryan came into the coffee shop and said, “Hi,
Justin.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin, who was enamored at the sight of Ryan and all his
magnificent glory (his muscles were bronzed and looked really strong and he was
having a great hair day and was wearing tight pants, like super tight pants
that should off how strong his thighs were and how nice his buttocks looked</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">),
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tried not to blush when Ryan talked to
him.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Aww,” Ryan cooed. “Are you blushing?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ryan,” Justin giggled. “Stop it.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Oh my gods,” Larry moaned. “This is
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">amazing</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina, not really used to receiving
compliments, scowled at the unicorn.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“How
is my favorite barista today?” Ryan asked</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’m
your favorite?” Justin asked, shocked because he hadn’t known that. It caused tingling
in his stomach and groin area. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,” Ryan said. “You’re my favorite about a lot of
things.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks,” Justin said. “I know I’m not, like, a wizard,
or anything.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan looked like he was going to be sick. “I’m glad
you’re not a wizard.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You are?” Justin asked. “But, I’m just a barista. I
can’t do magic and I am not rich or anything.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re rich in your heart,” Ryan said huskily.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“In his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">heart</i>,” Larry cried. “Wiggy! In his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">heart</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t know what’s happening,”
Wiggy admitted.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There
was a moment when Justin thought Ryan was going to lean in and kiss him, but
cold, harsh reality set in when Ryan’s stupid boyfriend came into the shop.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh no,” Ryan exclaimed. “Everything is going to be
ruined now.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it was. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because Sam of Wilds was here.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Plot twist,” Larry said,
hoof/fist-bumping Wiggy. “I never saw that coming.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We did,” Nicole said. “Because it’s
pretty much every story.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nicole,” Tina said, acid sweet,
“maybe keep your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">godsdamn opinion to
yourself.</i>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Meep,” Nicole said.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Ryan!”
Sam of Wilds snarled. “Why the fuck are you not at home in the kitchen where
you belong! My stomach isn’t going to feed itself!”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“That….is surprisingly accurate,”
Larry muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” Tina said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” Larry said. “I mean,
continue! This is sooo good.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
shoulders slumped, and Justin hated the sight. Ryan should always stand tall,
and not be cowed down by anyone. But especially a wizard’s apprentice.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi, Sam,” Ryan said dully, the light leaving his
beautiful eyes. “Please don’t be angry. I’m sorry.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry?” Sam hissed, his unattractive features getting
even more unattractive, if that were possible. “I came home from a hard day of
doing absolutely </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">nothing<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">,
only to find my sex den </i>empty<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. I </i>told<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> you that you should always be waiting for
me with your ass in the air and a godsdamn </i>sandwich<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</i>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Wait,” Larry said. “So. Just to be
clear. Ryan should be at home in the kitchen with his ass in the air? And a
sandwich? Remind me never to eat in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i>
kitchen.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t want ass sandwiches,” Wiggy
said, petting Larry’s mane. “I like peanut butter.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But,
you see, Justin couldn’t stand by and just watch this happen. Not anymore. He
knew that Sam of Wilds was evil and shouldn’t be allowed to even be within a
mile of the glory that was Ryan Foxheart. Ryan deserved to be treated like the
precious jewel that he was.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam stalked forward as Ryan tried to step back, cowering
under Sam’s raised fist. “Bwahaha,” Sam cackled evilly. “HaveHeart for life,
motherfuckers!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, Sam!” Ryan screamed. “You can’t!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can do what I want!” Sam shouted liked a little bitch.
“I’m Sam of Wilds. Everyone loves me! I put a spell on all of them to make sure
they could never </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">not<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">
love me</i>!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“That would explain a lot,” Larry
said. “Also, he does shout like a little bitch sometimes.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“HaveHeart for life, motherfuckers,”
Wiggy agreed.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A
</i>spell<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">? Justin thought. Of course
that’s the reason! He </i>knew <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it had to
have been something nefarious. That would be the absolute </i>only<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> explanation, because Sam of Wilds had no
redeeming qualities, looked shabby, did not dress very well, and maybe one of
his eyes was lazy. He also probably smelled bad, had an offensive attitude, and
literally </i>no one in Verania<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> could
actually like him.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin hopped over the counter like a boss.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Like a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">boss</i>?” Larry choked out. “Oh my gods.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hey!” Tina barked. “That was good!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,” Larry said. “It was so
boss.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Right
when Sam was about to punch Ryan in the duodenum, Justin caught Sam’s fist and
stopped it before he bruised all that prettiness.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What do you think you’re doing?” Sam demanded
incredulously. “Don’t you have any idea who I am?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You won’t touch him again,” Justin growled. “No one
deserves to be treated that way.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bwahaha!” Sam said. “He belongs to </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">me<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. I can treat him however I want! He’s not a
person, he’s a </i>possession<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Never!” Justin cried. And then he punched Sam in the
throat.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Whoa,” Larry said. “That seemed
overkill. Sam just wanted to get back what belong to him, and Justin throat
punches him? Harsh.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh no, Sam!” Wiggy cried. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ryan doesn’t belong to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anyone</i>,” Tina said. “He’s like a bird.
He should never be caged.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Except by Justin.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">They’re
in true love!</i>”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yikes,” Larry said.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sam
started gagging, unable to take a breath because Justin’s mighty fist.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Gross,” Larry said. “That sounded
like something else.”<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Like what?” Wiggy asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fisting, kitten. It sounded like
fisting.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Gross,” Wiggy said with a frown.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
clutched at the back of Justin’s shirt, whimpering. “He could hurt you,” Ryan
said. “Justin, you can’t let him do that. Please, just let me go. I will deal
with his unending rage. Please. Just let me go.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Never, baby,” Justin said, voice deep and awesome and
sexy. “I could never let you go.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan’s eyes widened. “What?” he whispered. “Justin, don’t
say it if you don’t mean it. My heart couldn’t take it.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin turned and took Ryan into his arms. “I will </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">always<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> mean it when it comes to you, baby,” he
said, staring into Ryan’s eyes and falling even more in love. “You make me
soar.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh, Justin,” Ryan said. “I ache for you. In my loins.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“My gods,” Larry said. “If anyone
tells you that your prose is too purple, you tell them that a unicorn said
there’s no such thing. You purple the shit out of this.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina wasn’t sure if that had been a
compliment or not.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I
know, baby,” Justin said. “I also ache for you in my loins. And soon, I’ll help
you get rid of that ache. For life.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan’s eyes filled with tears. “For true?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“For true,” Justin promised, and leaned over to taste
those plump lips.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But before he could, he felt….the building of </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">magic<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> behind him!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He
whirled around, heart pounding in his chest.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam stood, no longer gagging because of Justin’s fist.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[“You may want to revise that part,” Larry
said. “If you’re taking constructive criticism.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>,” Tina snapped.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His
hands were above his head and were glowing with an unholy and unnatural light.
“If I can’t have him,” Sam shrieked, “then no one will!”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Magic shot from his hands and as the coffee shop began to
crumble around them, Justin threw himself over Ryan to protect him. Because
Ryan was beautiful and fragile and needed a strong man to take care of him</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then everything went dark.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“You best not be leaving this on a
cliffhanger!” Larry cried. “I will fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cut
you</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,” Wiggy said. “Cut you so
hard.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina couldn’t help but feel pleasure
that her story was being so well received.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Justin
opened his eyes. He was in the hospital.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Oh my gods,” Larry breathed. “Of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">course </i>he was in the hospital. And then
Ryan is going to come in and confess his love to him! A hospital scene in a gay
romance? Why, this has never been done before! So fresh and exciting.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Stop spoiling my story!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oops. My bad. Carry on.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now
where was I. Right. He was in the hospital. He blinked slowly, trying to clear
his head. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He felt a pressure on his hands. He turned to look.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan was sitting in a chair next to him, holding his
hand. He was asleep, laying hunched over onto the bed. Justin had never seen
someone more beautiful.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hey,” Justin said softly. “Baby. Wake up.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Stop it,” Ryan muttered. “Tryna sleep.” He smacked his
lips.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Aww,” the fan club sighed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">adorable</i> when he wakes up,” Deidre sighed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I bet that’s what happens in real
life,” Nicole said. “He’s hard to wake up and he’s hard <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when</i> he wakes up. Am I right, ladies?”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Baby,”
Justin said again. “Open those pretty eyes for me.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan opened his eyes. Gods, they were gorgeous. Blue like
the ocean. Like ice in the ocean. Reflected by stars. In the middle of winter.
They were that blue.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Justin?” Ryan whispered. “Is that really you?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, baby,” Justin said. “It’s me. Are you all right?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know if I’ll ever
be all right again.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Ryan sure cries a lot in this,”
Larry said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s because he’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sensitive,</i>” Tina said. “He’s not afraid
of his feelings and knows that Justin is the love his life and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stop interrupting me, oh my gods</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Cries like a little bitch,” Larry
coughed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” Tina said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry,” Larry said. “Allergies.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You’ll
be okay,” Justin said deeply, voice masculine and attractive and, like, the
best thing ever. “Because I’ll be here to make you okay.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You promise?” Ryan asked, a tear tracking its way down
his cheek. “Because I don’t know if I can do this without you. I don’t know if
I </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">want<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> to do this without you.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’ll never have to,” Justin said. He reached up and
cupped Ryan’s face, thumb brushing away the tears. Ryan nuzzled into his hand.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Baby,”
Justin said with a chuckle, “you don’t want to keep doing that.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Doing what?” Ryan said innocently, still rubbing his
face on Justin’s hand.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You know what, you little minx. You’re going to make me
ravage you right here.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Maybe I want that,” Ryan said. “Maybe I want you to
ravage me. Just take what you want when you want it. Do you want to take me,
Justin? Just fucking rail into me?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Um,” Larry said. “What.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is where she gets porny,”
Nicole whispered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wiggy, cover your ears,” Larry
said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But I want to get porny,” Wiggy
said, pouting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fine,” Larry said with a sigh. “But
you do not get to come crying to me when you get an inappropriate erection.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Baby,”
Justin said. “I’m in the hospital. You’ve been through a trauma. You might have
PTSD. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You won’t be,” Ryan said, chest heaving. “And even if I
do have PTSD, I just know that making love to you will cure it.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“I don’t know if that’s supported by
medical science,” Larry said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want porn,” Wiggy said with a
scowl.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Justin
couldn’t argue with that. He knew that lovemaking had the power to cure even
the most severe psychological disorders. “Far be it for me to argue with that,”
he said, and Ryan giggled above him, light and happy.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Come
here,” Justin said. “Let me taste those luscious lips of yours.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Be gentle with me,” Ryan whispered as he leaned down
over the hospital bed railing.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Always,” Justin whispered. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then their lips met for the first time. Justin
thought fireworks were exploding behind his eyes. Ryan’s lips were hot and wet
and when he groaned, lips parting, Justin took that as an invitation to lick
into his mouth.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lick</i> into his mouth?” Larry said, sounding incredulous. “That
doesn’t sound very sanitary.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s sexy,” Tina insisted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Riiiiight,” Larry said.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Their
tongues dueled and danced, mapping out each other’s mouths, tracing over gums
and teeth. Justin tried to stick his tongue in as far as he could, wanting to
taste the back of Ryan’s throat.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Riiiiiiight,</i>”
Larry said.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
pulled away, panting, lips slick with spit. “I’m burning up for you,” he said,
voice hoarse. “I need more, Justin. I need </i>you<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin knew exactly what Ryan needed, because they were
destined to be together forever and would love each other and have babies and
grow old together. “You should take off your pants,” Justin said. “And let me
swallow your dick.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[Wiggy covered his ears.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
did just that, sliding his pants down his thick, hairy, muscular thighs</i>. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He wasn’t wearing any underwear, and his
penis was so erect. Justin thought it had to be at least 10 inches long.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[Larry started cackling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“B-b-b-<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bullshit</i>,”
he managed to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t know if I’m supposed to be
hearing this,” Deidre said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina glared at her. “You will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sit</i> there and you will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">listen.</i> And Larry, you better stop
laughing! This is a serious thing!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“T-ten inches my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a-a-ass</i>.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Yeah,”
Justin said. “That’s the good stuff.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan pushed his dick between the railing of the hospital
bed and Justin just went to town on it. He sucked on it so hard and good and
licked it all over. He got it really wet and Ryan’s dick was just </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">weeping<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> all this pre-come, and Justin could taste
the bitter tang of it on his tongue. He reached down and tugged on Ryan’s balls
as Ryan cried out above him, shouting Justin’s name, begging for more, saying
that Justin was the best he’d ever had and no one else could do as good as him
and that they were totally going to be boyfriends after this.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Justin
pulled off Ryan’s dick and said, “Yeah, that sounds good to me,” and then
sucked on it some more.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m going to come if you keep doing that,” Ryan said.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin backed off, dragging his tongue on the shaft.
“Don’t want that,” he said. “I don’t want you to come until I’m inside you.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Really?” Ryan asked, sounding breathless and super
turned on. “I’ve never done that before.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin hesitated. “You mean Sam never…”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan shook his head. “No, Sam was a selfish lover who
only took what he wanted from me. He made me top him all the time because he
was a little bottom bitch. I’ve never gotten to experience the pleasure of
being with a real man before.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Bottom Ryan is my favorite Ryan,”
Wanda said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Larry just continued to laugh, tears
streaming down his face.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Well,
I’m glad of that,” Justin said. “I’ll be your first.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And my last,” Ryan said shyly.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, baby, I’ll be your last.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin pulled up his hospital gown and his penis was
engorged and amazing-looking.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How big are you?” Ryan asked.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Twelve inches,” Justin responded.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“How are you coming up with these <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">measurements</i>?” Larry wheezed.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Oh
my,” Ryan said. “That’s so much bigger than Sam. I’m going to feel that in my
intestines.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah you will,” Justin said. “Now get up here and sit on
my face and I will tongue fuck your butt and get you ready for my big dick. You
can suck me and get me ready down there.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Whyyyyy are you doing this?” Larry
moaned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I need an adult!” Wiggy cried.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
didn’t waste any time as he crawled up on the bed, facing the other direction
from Justin’s face. Justin reached up and grabbed dat ass, parting the cheeks.
His butthole was a winking rosebud, and Justin was going to be the bee that
pollinated that flower.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Yeah,” Crissy said. “You be that
bee. You just buzz all over it. Cross-pollinate the shit out of it. Complete
that ecosystem.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“I don’t think we should be at this
meeting,” Larry said to Wiggy in a low voice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Happy place,” Wiggy said, rocking
back and forth. “Find my happy place.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Justin
darted his tongue out and licked Ryan’s butt. Ryan mewled through a mouthful of
Justin’s dick, pressing his ass closer to Justin’s tongue. He gasped when
Justin gripped his hips, holding him in place, pressing his face as far as it
could go into Ryan’s ass. Justin continued to lick, face smeared with saliva.
Ryan’s musk was intoxicating.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“His <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">musk</i>?” Larry asked shrilly. “His <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ass</i> musk? Oh, child, No, no, child. What are you doing. What are
you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">doing</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> what she was doing. She was a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">master</i> of the erotic. She’d read enough of it by now that she knew <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exactly</i> how to titillate.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Yeah,”
Ryan said as he licked the tip of Justin’s dick. “Get your whole face up in
there.” He reached behind him to the back of Justin’s head, holding him in
place as he ground his ass back.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Justin was just</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> buried<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> in dat ass, and it was a religious experience.
The love he felt for Ryan swelled his heart and penis.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Eventually, Justin’s jaw tired from all the amazing
rimming. He pulled away from dat ass and said, “You need to ride me, baby boy.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, Daddy,” Ryan said.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Hold up a minute,” Larry said. “Did
he just say what I think he said.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Daddy kink,” Wiggy said, sounding
forlorn. “There’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">daddy </i>kink.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The best kind of kink,” Deidre
breathed.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That’s
it, baby boy,” Justin said as Ryan turned himself around. “You know what Daddy
likes.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh, Daddy,” Ryan said. “I love you so much. You are my
everything and anyone that I was with before you or may be with in some
absolutely insane alternate reality will never compare to the way you make my
hole flutter with desire.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hup,</i>”
Larry gagged. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hup. Hup.</i>”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’m
going to fuck you so hard,” Justin promised. “So hard that you’ll be dripping
me for days.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh, yeah,” Ryan moaned. “Put it in me. Just fucking
stick that shit in my ass.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“That was unfortunately phrased,”
Larry whispered to Wiggy, who was nodding with wide eyes.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And
that’s what he did. He stuck that shit right in Ryan’s ass. He didn’t even give
his baby boy a chance to get used to it, he just put all twelve inches up in
his ass in one smooth motion. Ryan keened above him, arching his neck back,
riding Justin like he was a prized race horse.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“That is so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">racist</i>,” Larry hissed. “Oh my gods, how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dare</i> you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There, there,” Wiggy said. “I sing
for you?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Larry looked at him with tears in
his eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I sing for you,” Wiggy decided. And
then remarkably, he actually started singing. “Cheeeeesy dicks and candle
sticks, and broomsticks and cats and muffins and turtles—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t think that’s how the song
goes,” Larry said fondly (and also suspiciously dry-eyed).]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ryan
was writhing above him, and Justin was giving it to him hard, feet planted on
the hospital bed, hips snapping up, thrusting into that previously unexplored
cavern. He was spelunking into depths never before spelunked by any man. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am going to come in you,” Justin growled. “And then
I’m going to eat it out of you.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, Daddy,” Ryan gasped. “And then I will lick it out
of your mouth because we’re </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">nasty<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, aren’t we. Daddy, we’re so </i>nasty<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Nope,” Larry said. “Nope, nope. I
can’t even with this. You are one kinky fucking broad. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> am blushing. Me. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gary.</i>
The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">queen</i> of sexual perversion Who
the fuck are you that you can make <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>—why
are you all staring at me like that?”]</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina’s hand’s tightened on the
papers. “What did you just say?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The unicorn rolled his eyes. “I’m
just saying that you are certainly kinkier than I thought.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“After that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That I’m the queen of sexual
perversion?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Before that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Um. Oh! I was blushing. Really, you
should learn to listen better. Well, I don’t really care if you listen better
to anyone <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">else</i>, just me, so—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“After that,” Tina growled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What? Oh. Uh. I said…What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i> I say?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You called yourself Gary,” Wiggy
said helpfully. “Even though we disguised and you told me I couldn’t call you
that even though your name Gary and my name Tiggy.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Right,” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gary</i> said. “I did say that, didn’t I? Kitten, we couldn’t call
ourselves our <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i> names if we were
going incognito. We’re <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">spies</i>, for
heaven’s sake. It’s all about the intrigue and—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh</i>. Right. I see the problem here now.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Gary and Tiggy looked at Tina.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A nice breeze came along and blew
the unicorn’s horn off. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It fluttered to the ground.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Before the Rystin Fan Club Castle
Lockes Chapter stood a hornless gay unicorn and a half-giant.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The</i>
hornless gay unicorn and half-giant.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina glared furiously at both of
them, rising slowly to her feet. Spies? In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her</i>
fan club?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Not.
Fucking. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Likely</i>. Her hand gripped the
butter knife on the table. It wouldn’t do much damage, but it would at least
spill <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some</i> blood. And that would be
enough to start.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well,” Gary said. “This is super
awkward. And you’re looking slightly murdery in your eyes. So. This has just
been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fun</i>, right? Oh my gods, yes. So
much fun. But Tiggy and I have this…thing. We have to do to. Very important.
We’re just going to go. To that thing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina stood up, pulling herself up to
her full height of four feet eight inches of pure, raging, sixteen year old
girl.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh my gods,” Gary said. “Your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">face</i>. It’s so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">red</i> and you look like you’re going to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eep!</i>” He choked off when she raised the knife and started stalking
around the table.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I smash?” Tiggy growled, fists
clenching at his sides.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes!” Gary shouted. “Tiggy smash!
No, wait. Dammit. You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t</i> smash
her. It would ruin the dress she’s wearing and do you know how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">expensive</i> that thing is?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I smash,” Tiggy said. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But instead of smashing Tina, who
was only really thinking about bathing in unicorn blood, the half-giant smashed
the wooden table between all of them. All the ladies of the fan club shrieked
as they fell backward. Tina was knocked off her feet, landing on a pile of
Deidre, who grunted about Tina’s elbow stabbing her spleen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Run, Tiggy!” Gary screamed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">GWAAAAAH</i>!”
Tiggy shrieked, hands flailing above his head as the unicorn and the half-giant
ran toward the castle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina listened as sound of the
unicorn’s hooves against the cobblestone faded into nothing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you okay?” Crissy asked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And Lady Tina DeSilva said, “I’m
fine,” in a soft, flat voice that caused everyone within hearing distance to
get goosebumps.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you okay?” her mother asked her
later that night.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina didn’t even look at her mother
over the dinner table, just continued to blankly stare at the far wall when she
said, “I’m fine.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her mother knew that tone of voice.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you okay?” her governess asked
her a few days later on the way to school.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Only the skin under Tina’s eye
twitched when she said, “I’m fine.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That night, the governess locked her
bedroom door. It had nothing to do with the fact that Tina slept right down the
hall. It was just safer that way.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you okay?” a teacher asked her
three days later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tina didn’t even looked up from her
desk, where she was writing feverishly on a piece of paper. The scratch of the
pen came to a brief halt and Tina said, “I’m fine.” The pen started moving
again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The teacher hurried away. Later, she
would find the paper Tina had been writing on. The same thing was written over
and over again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">RYSTIN
IS FOREVER</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>RYSTIN IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">RYSTIN
IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>RYSTIN IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">RYSTIN
IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>RYSTIN IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">RYSTIN
IS FOREVER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>RYSTIN IS FOREVER</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The teacher shuddered and threw away
the paper. She wouldn’t say a single word about it. She was paid enough to deal
with crazy bitches.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And on and on it went.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina DeSilva was fine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fine</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was</i> fine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But there was a way she could be
better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>HaveHeart was just…a minor detour.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Rystin was for life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Rystin was forever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She couldn’t be the only one who
despised the very ground Sam of Wilds walked on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The street urchin from the slums.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The boy who’d had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i> handed to him, regardless of
his station.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just because he could do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">magic</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that wasn’t enough, no.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had been given everything, yes,
but he had also <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">taken</i> everything.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had taken Ryan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had taken away from Justin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had taken Rystin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He
had taken away from Tina</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that was unforgiveable.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Surely, she wasn’t alone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">couldn’t </i>be alone in this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fine</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She decided to place an ad in the
paper. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Much like the one she’d seen for the
fan club.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Maybe she could find others like
her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It seemed like a shot in the dark.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But she needed to do it. Because she
was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fine</i>.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The ad appeared four days later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was in the bottom left corner of
the last page in the paper.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was simple and neat and straight
to the point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It laid out a brief over view of the
new club and proposed a date to meet the following week.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>All she had to do was wait.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The day of the meeting, Lady Tina
DeSilva awoke bright and early. The sun was shining. There wasn’t a cloud in
the sky. It was going to be such a lovely day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She put on her makeup with extra
care.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her hair was curled lusciously
around her face and neck.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wore her prettiest dress. It was
blue, with little white ribbons on it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She stood in front of the mirror,
making sure everything was in place.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Perfect,” she said with the tiniest
smile. She reached up and pulled off the picture she had of Rystin, from that
newspaper she’d seen them in the first time so very long ago. “I’ll save you,”
she whispered, running her finger along their faces. “I promise I’ll save you.
Because I love you both very, very, much.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She placed a sticky kiss against
them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She put it back on the corner of the
mirror.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The morning noise on the street
below rose as she closed her bedroom door behind her.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s1600/BOLT.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bRo-flKXb4fFz1oxVYfGp3M5N1MkRyiqo_G1IluasYXEKNCK4bOiFFLwg8o3U8XZcCCgLM-z1ICEdKAnITFiFqjz7Y-cSAH74azwnJvsXca3teDnjwUClZlLMiZ2biWvssmZxiodQSPo/s200/BOLT.jpeg" width="118" /></a> </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She had hoped two or three people
would show up. Maybe four, if she was lucky.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Realistically, she thought maybe
one, if any at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So imagine her surprise when she
arrived at the same tea shop she’d held the fan club meetings and found a large
crowd gather. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At first, she thought maybe they
were all there for the tea.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But then they all turned to look at
her, conversations dying down as they watched her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Waiting</i>
for her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dozens</i> of them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Men and women, young and old.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The rich, the poor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The peasants and the upper class.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everything in between.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">glorious.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello,” she said, voice raised and
clear. “I believe you are all here for me. I have called you here because we
are united under a common goal. You are here because you agree that this has
gone on far too long. That we are supposed to trust the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">future</i> of Verania in the hands of one who acts like the favored
son. Who brings nothing put pain and misery down on the Veranian name. Who
whispers in your King’s ears his little plots and plans, poisoning him until he
is nothing but a puppet. You are here because it’s time to bring this to an
end.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her heart was pounding.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was out of breath.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her palms were sweaty.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And
she’d never felt more alive</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was her calling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>These were her sheep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She would allow them to flock around
her and she would guide them with a firm hand.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ladies and gentlemen” she said.
“You are here because of Sam of Wilds and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything
</i>he was wrought down upon us. Verania thinks him universally beloved, but
you being here proves just how much of a farce he has constructed, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lies</i> he’s told in order to usurp the
throne. By being here, I can promise you that your voice will be heard, that
you will be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cherished </i>for having your
opinion. So. Think about what it is you want. You can leave and never speak of
this again. Or, you can join me, and we can begin the first official meeting of
the We-Hate-Sam-A-Lot Club Castle Lockes Chapter. I’ve brought enough muffins
for everyone. They’re blueberry. Delicious, wouldn’t you say?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The large crowd around cheered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And Lady Tina DeSilva began to
smile.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The End</span></span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-89361638787643945932015-09-12T07:34:00.001-07:002015-09-12T07:34:04.892-07:00Release Date, Blurb, First Look at How to Be a Normal Person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52lyYup-9EKSrAiuJY8Fg08E6yKvXGbQ7w5nqvNStwyM7zF2wCc_9NhBliSJO7EMFQLneOyiexLlq0ZBcDOmpdcrc83XcX3GtqV8XdoddkR7V9fdDUYL7DIenYs_LCnr0nQrVHfzBs7qk/s1600/HowToBeANormalPerson6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52lyYup-9EKSrAiuJY8Fg08E6yKvXGbQ7w5nqvNStwyM7zF2wCc_9NhBliSJO7EMFQLneOyiexLlq0ZBcDOmpdcrc83XcX3GtqV8XdoddkR7V9fdDUYL7DIenYs_LCnr0nQrVHfzBs7qk/s640/HowToBeANormalPerson6.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Coming Friday, October 16th 2015, TJ Klune's <span id="freeText3176632029877122372"> asexual
stoner romantic comedy featuring ferrets named after dead
presidents, an elderly female biker gang who meddle in everything, a
1995 Ford Taurus, discussions on how Michael Bay ruins childhood dreams
and a grumpy video store clerk who may or may not have a crush on the
hipster at the coffee shop, even if said hipster does Instagram every
thing he eats. Like an asshole.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Official Blurb:<br />
<br />
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2933" style="text-align: justify;">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2932">Gustavo
Tiberius is not normal. He knows this. Everyone in his small town of Abby,
Oregon knows this. He reads encyclopedias every night before bed. He has a pet
ferret called Harry S. Truman. He owns a video rental store that no one goes
to. His closest friends are a lady named Lottie with drag queen hair and a trio
of elderly Vespa riders known as the We Three Queens.</span></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2934" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2951" style="text-align: justify;">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2950">Gus
is not normal. And he's fine with that. All he wants is to be left alone.</span></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2949" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2947">Until
Casey, an asexual stoner hipster and the newest employee at Lottie’s Lattes,
enters his life. For some reason, Casey thinks Gus is the greatest thing ever.
And maybe Gus is starting to think the same thing about Casey, even if Casey <i>is</i> obsessive about Instagraming his
food.</span></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2946" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2944" style="text-align: justify;">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2943">But
Gus isn’t normal and Casey deserves someone who can be. Suddenly wanting to be
that someone, Gus steps out of his comfort zone and plans to become the most
normal person ever. </span></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2935" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
</div>
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<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2938">After
all, what could possibly go wrong?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2936" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiatboY5K0EoQ4498A3U1ceY7JIu-kmXdqScy0RmA38aAKzJCVi8tDAkCasdMEamOI2dKm6uX0n7Wxvj4UrhQwbGWlzluBLwr-9XBlELGh-cM5gq2PB_O36puX_wIeF-MDHzBcJTcLUKeez/s1600/HowToBeANormalPerson_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiatboY5K0EoQ4498A3U1ceY7JIu-kmXdqScy0RmA38aAKzJCVi8tDAkCasdMEamOI2dKm6uX0n7Wxvj4UrhQwbGWlzluBLwr-9XBlELGh-cM5gq2PB_O36puX_wIeF-MDHzBcJTcLUKeez/s400/HowToBeANormalPerson_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2936" style="text-align: center;">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2938">CHAPTER 1 </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2936" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was seven in the morning when
the alarm clock belonging to Gustavo Tiberius rang and he opened his eyes. He
looked up at the ceiling and thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Today
is going to be an okay day.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He rolled out of bed and onto the
floor and began the set of one hundred push-ups. Pastor Tommy had told him that
a body was a temple and should be treated as such. Granted, Pastor Tommy wasn’t
really a pastor and he’d been stoned out of his mind when he’d said it, but the
point remained the same. “God gave you that body, boy,” Pastor Tommy said.
“Make sure you take care of it. Now, it seems as if I have the munchies. Please
bring me the coffee cake and the liter of orange Slice from the pantry. I’m
completely ripped and feel the need to disparage Hemingway as a pretentious
hack.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gustavo’s arms burned in a good way
by the time he’d finished. He stood and looked down at the small chest of
drawers next to his bed. On top of the drawers was a calendar advertised as
having <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">365 DAYS OF INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES!
EVERY DAY IS A NEW MESSAGE OF HOPE!</i> It’d been given to him by the We Three
Queens, the trio of elderly lesbians who were either sisters or in a
polyamorous relationship. He hadn’t worked up the courage yet to ask. He didn’t
know the proper way to broach the subject of either being related or in a
threesome. But that wasn’t anything new; he didn’t know how to broach many
subjects at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gustavo (or Gus, as he preferred to
be called because what the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hell</i> had
Pastor Tommy been smoking the day he’d named his only child?) tore off the previous
day’s meandering and read the 135<sup>th</sup> inspirational message of the
year.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">There
is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That is probably the dumbest thing
I’ve ever read,” Gus muttered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gus hated inspirational messages,
but the We Three Queens felt he tended to be a bit dour and needed daily
affirmations. Gus had learned early on that when lesbians gave you presents,
you accepted them with a smile on your face. If you didn’t, there was the
potential that the lesbians (who were either sisters or lovers and he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really </i>needed to find a way to ask)
would come to your house with tuna or beef casseroles every day for a week and
make you eat it in front of them all the while telling you that you deserved
nice things and honestly, Gus, stop making that face, it’ll freeze that way and
where will you be then?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So Gus had promised to try, but the
We Three Queens were not in his room this morning and therefore he didn’t need
to hide that he was not inspired, and in fact, he was pretty much the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">opposite</i> of inspired because of the
inspirational message.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">But that was okay. He only had two
hundred and thirty more to go. The joy he felt at such a thought knew no
bounds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">And they’d better not give him
another one next year.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He would simply lock his door to
avoid further casseroles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Before he could ruminate on the
further shortcomings of being inspired so early in the morning, Harry S. Truman
chittered behind him from somewhere out in the hall.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the</i> Harry S. Truman, mind you. No, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> Harry S. Truman had died of multiple organ failure in December
of 1972, so it would be quite startling to have him in Gustavo’s house,
demanding to be fed. Gus wouldn’t know what to do if he’d been haunted by the
ghost of a former president. Just his luck, President Truman would probably
have a million more inspirational quotes and Gus would have to find an exorcist
or something to get the president to rest in peace and leave Gus alone. He’d
feel bad about that, at least for a little bit. And he didn’t know how to go
about finding presidential exorcists. It seemed like a lot of work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">No, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this </i>Harry S. Truman was a three-year-old albino ferret that Pastor
Tommy had adopted before he’d died. On his deathbed, body riddled with cancer, Pastor
Tommy had made Gus promise that he’d care for Harry S. Truman for the rest of
his days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“He’s my spirit animal,” Pastor
Tommy had said. “Like, guides me and shit. Shows me the great secrets of the
universe. He can be yours, you know? If you want.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Sure,” Gus had said, eyes burning
ever so lightly. “Yeah. Okay.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You’re a good son,” Pastor Tommy
said with a smile. “Now, bring me my bong and let’s watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">House Hunters International</i> and make fun of the people when they
pick the worst fucking house because they always do, oh my god.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harry S. Truman was waiting for Gus
in the hall, red eyes watching, whiskers twitching. When he saw he had Gus’s
attention, Harry S. Truman chittered again and ran toward him, little legs
sinking into the carpet. As soon as he reached Gus, he lay flat on his stomach,
blocking Gus from taking any further steps. He knew it was the easiest way to
get Gus’s attention.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You’re a jerk,” Gus told him, but
he reached down and picked up Harry S. Truman, who proceeded to climb on his shoulder
and lick his hair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gus walked to the kitchen as Harry
S. Truman bathed him and snuffled his ear wetly. Gus tried not to grimace, but
it was a close thing. He was used to ferret baths by now, but it didn’t mean he
appreciated whiskers in his ears. But, like the president, the ferret Harry S.
Truman didn’t give a shit about what whiskers went where, so Gus dealt with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harry S. Truman jumped off his
shoulder and onto the counter when Gus bent down to the cabinet near the sink,
chatting away with his little clicks and squeaks. Gus rattled his pellets in
their rubber container, and Harry S. Truman spun in a circle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gus filled his bowl, made sure he
had fresh water, then sat on the floor next to Harry S. Truman while he dug
through the pellets, eating an apple and thinking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m not going to take the
elevator,” Gus said, finally deciding. “Or even the stairs. I’m fine just the
way I am.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harry S. Truman ignored him
completely, but that was okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gustavo Tiberius (no middle name
because Pastor Tommy didn’t think they were necessary. Come on, Gus, why do you
need <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">three</i> names when your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two</i> are already brilliant? Gus didn’t
know if he quite agreed with Pastor Tommy on that last) was twenty-nine years
old on this 135<sup>th</sup> day. He was alive, had no zits on his face this
morning, and had good gums. His skin was pale, and his dark hair needed a cut,
curling down around his forehead and neck. He’d tried to shave his head once,
but found out only after he’d done so that his head was disproportionately big
compared to the rest of his body and he looked odd. Pastor Tommy had said he
absolutely did <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> look like a penis,
for which Gus was grateful, but then Pastor Tommy had apologized for lying and
said he absolutely <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i> look like a
penis. Gus never shaved his head again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He had blue eyes that Pastor Tommy
had described as Eurotrash pleasant (what the hell?) and had spent a year when
he was six convinced they were too close together and taped the edges back
every morning in an attempt to stretch them out. It hadn’t worked, but by the
time he’d turned seven, he’d discovered poker and forgot all about being
beady-eyed because he was too busy owning Pastor Tommy and winning hundreds of
dollars in Monopoly money.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He had a nose and ears too, but he
didn’t have problems with those, so….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gus looked at himself in the mirror
and flexed his arms. It lasted only momentarily because Gustavo Tiberius was
not a douchebag. At least not a complete douchebag. His arms had bumps on them
that could be construed as muscles, so he thought flexing maybe every once in a
while was okay. Not all the time, though. He had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some</i> dignity, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">The We Three Queens said he was too
skinny, but he thought it was the duty of elderly ladies everywhere to say that
about young people, so he didn’t think much about it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He showered and shaved and brushed
his teeth. He grinned at his reflection, but it was awkward so he stopped.
Smiling was always awkward for him. He knew very well that he had resting bitch
face, but there was nothing he could do about that. So he didn’t. People said
he should smile more. He generally avoided those people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He dressed in his work uniform, put
on his name tag (though, really, Abby, Oregon, only had six hundred and
fifty-seven people in it and everyone knew who he was, much to his dismay), and
mentally prepared himself to walk out the door and interact with the human
race.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Today was going to be an okay day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He secured Harry S. Truman in the
pet carrier, the ferret grumbling at him, opened the front door to the house,
and began to face his day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">To start, he only had to walk
across the street to Lottie’s Lattes, a coffee shop with the most ridiculous
name. He’d told Lottie as such, and she’d grinned at him and made him drink a
fruit smoothie instead of his usual black coffee. It was sweet and creamy and
everything about it had been terrible, so he kept his opinions on alliteration
to himself (it was an awful thing and anyone who thought otherwise should be
punished accordingly).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was cool outside, but the sky
was blue and the sun was bright. Birds were chirping and people said hello as
they walked down the street. Gus did his best not to scowl, because apparently
it was unbecoming of him (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gus, oh my god
stop with that face</i>, as said by Pastor Tommy, may he rest in peace). He
even managed to grunt a hello back once and congratulated himself silently for
doing so well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">The bell rang overhead chipper and
welcoming, and Gus rolled his eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Lottie stood behind the counter,
all four foot three of her, big frizzy hair dyed an alarming shade of red. (“I
was a drag queen in a past life,” she’d confided in him once.) She was in her
fifties and honestly took no shit from anyone. He’d seen her take down a man
twice her size with a swift kick to the nuts when he’d drunkenly made an
aggressive pass at her. She was calm and peaceful, but she believed that
sometimes violence was the only answer. “With great power comes great
responsibility,” she’d told him solemnly, and he had to remind her that was
Spider-Man and she had drag queen hair. Lottie also had a shotgun she kept
hidden underneath the counter. She had named it LeVar Burton, but kept the
reason why to herself. Gus thought it was because Lottie got a lady boner over
Kunta/La Forge/<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Reading Rainbow</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Your aura is brown today,” Lottie
said in lieu of a greeting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gus frowned. He didn’t believe in
auras or crystals or whatever hippie-dippie bullshit Lottie subscribed to, but
why was it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">brown</i>? “What does that
mean?” he asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care at all. He thought he
succeeded admirably.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She shrugged. “I have no idea. I
can see them. I don’t research them. I don’t have time. No one else is going to
make these banana-nut muffins.” Then she narrowed her eyes and said, “Best
supporting actor category and winner 1957.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Anthony Quinn, Don Murray, Anthony
Perkins, Mickey Rooney, and Robert Stack,” Gus recited automatically. “Anthony
Quinn won for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lust for Life</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She sighed. “One day, I’ll get
you,” she said. “I still don’t know how you know every single Academy Award
category and winner ever.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It’s a gift,” Gus said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Like the auras,” she said, nodding
sagely.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">No. Not like the auras. Because
those were bullshit. “Exactly,” he said because he didn’t want a goddamn fruit
smoothie this morning. Or a muffin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She began to pour his coffee. “How
is the president today?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harry S. Truman squeaked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Good,” she said. “His aura is red.
Like his eyes. It mixes strangely with your brown.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s super,” Gus said and
realized he was not a sixteen-year-old girl and immediately struck the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">super</i> from his vocabulary. He should
have said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stupendous</i>. It sounded much
more age-appropriate. And sarcastic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Robert Stack is handsome,” she
said, putting a lid on his coffee. “I wouldn’t shove that out of my bed in the
morning.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“He’s dead,” Gus said. “I hope he
wouldn’t be in your bed. You don’t strike me as a necrophiliac.” But then, what
did he know? She saw auras. Maybe the simple fact of Robert Stack being
deceased wouldn’t stop her carnal lust.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“My mother was a hemophiliac,” she
offered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He stared at her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What did you learn today?” she
asked, ignoring the look on his face, as she was prone to do. It was annoying
that she had somehow become impervious to his facial expressions. He told
himself he’d just have to try harder next time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Don’t take elevators for success
because the cables could snap and you would plummet to your death. Take the
stairs but watch your back because someone could push you down and you could
break your neck.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She wrinkled her nose. “That
doesn’t sound very inspirational.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Lesbians,” he said, because that
explained everything. And if not, then it should. He thought more of the
world’s problems could be solved that way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Or Gus,” Lottie said, that knowing
glint in her eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He scowled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Muffin?” she asked sweetly.
“They’re banana nut. I made them, in case you didn’t know.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He scowled harder.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She gave him a muffin anyway.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He scowled the hardest of all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And your coffee,” she said,
handing him the cup, having drawn a heart on it around his name. “As black as
your soul.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I thought I was brown,” he said,
grimacing at the heart. It was cute. God, he hated fucking cute. It went the way
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">super</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">She grinned. “I’ll bring you lunch
at noon.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No tuna salad,” he warned her
before he turned to walk away. “May god have mercy on you if there is tuna
salad.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks for coming to Lottie’s
Lattes!” she shouted after him. “Where we like you a lottie!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered as
the bell rang overhead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He walked down Main Street, away
from his house and Lottie’s Lattes, before crossing to the other side of the
road. Harry S. Truman chittered at him as he walked, juggling the cage, the
coffee, and the goddamn muffin. He thought about dropping the muffin in the
street, but Lottie would find out somehow and he would get tuna salad for sure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He stopped in front of his store a
block farther down and set down Harry S. Truman’s carrier before pulling the
keys from his pocket and unlocking the door. He reminded himself he needed to
fix the lock later, as it stuck every now and then.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He picked up Harry S. Truman and
stepped inside the store, flipping on the lights. They flickered on overhead
and he moved toward the center of the floor where his counter stood. He set
Harry S. Truman on the counter and leaned down to turn on the Gateway 2000
computer and monitor.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">While it booted up, he opened the
large pet cage that sat on the counter. He cleaned the litter box inside and poured
fresh water in a bowl from the bottles he kept under the counter in a small
refrigerator. Once these tasks were complete, he opened the carrier. Harry S.
Truman squirmed playfully in his hands and squeaked when he saw his cage and the
tiny toys inside. Gus left the cage door open for now. Like the president he
was named for, Harry S. Truman wouldn’t stray too far.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He took the feather duster from
underneath the counter and went up and down each aisle, dusting the merchandise
and fixing any box that looked slightly out of place. There were thousands of
such boxes, but Gus was nothing if not efficient. It helped that he did the
same thing every night before he left too, so dust had little chance to
accumulate.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It gave him plenty of time to
think, and today, he thought about the documentary he’d watched on television
the night before on the breeding season of mountain goats. Mature male goats,
or billies as they’re called, will stare at the females, the nannies, for long
periods of time. They’ll then proceed to dig ruts and fight the other males to
impress the nannies. Once a mate is chosen, the breeding is quick and chaotic,
and nannies may choose multiple partners while the male chooses only one. Gus
had been slightly horrified at the fact that there were promiscuous female
goats. He decided he was glad he was human. Most of the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He finished dusting thirty minutes
later. He went back to the counter. Harry S. Truman was blinking sleepily from
his blanket. Gus put the feather duster back in its place, entered his password
into the computer (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">WiTcHITA123KANSas</i>
because he’d never been there and nobody would ever guess), and straightened
his name tag.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He looked at the clock and counted
down the last minute in his head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay,” he said out loud when the
second hand crossed the twelve. “Today is going to be an okay day.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">He took a deep breath and let it
out slowly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gustavo Tiberius, named by his
father who was three years dead and a mother who took off when he was three
years old never to be seen again, moved to the front of the store. He unlocked
the door, turned the plastic sign hanging on it to Open, and flipped the switch
to light up the neon letters hanging in the front store window.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was the 135<sup>th</sup> day of
the year, May 15<sup>th</sup>, 2014. It was a Thursday in the spring with the
sun shining and the smell of pine trees in the cool, mountain air. It was going
to be an okay day, because Gus had said so. He didn’t need inspirational
messages given by polyamorous lesbians (who could actually just be sisters). He
didn’t need banana-nut muffins made by alliterative short women with drag queen
hair. He had his father’s ferret, his father’s ancient computer, and Pastor
Tommy’s Video Rental Emporium (all seventeen hundred square feet of it) was now
officially open, serving the people of Abby, Oregon, and the surrounding areas,
Monday through Saturday, opening daily at nine and closing at five. Gift cards
were available upon request. Tuesdays were ninety-nine cent rental day, up to
three rentals.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">God, how Gus hated Tuesdays. At
least four people came in on Tuesdays.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 2.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">But it was Thursday, now.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">And it was going to be an okay day.</span><br />
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2936" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv9252449958MsoNormal" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1442067485974_2936" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-89945516325463235082015-08-28T13:38:00.002-07:002015-08-28T16:28:42.075-07:00Asexuality & Me; Or, How I Can Be 33 Years Old & Come Out Again<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Hi!</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My name is TJ Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My real name is Travis Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I answer to both.</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m an author. I write books about
dudes falling in love with other dudes, having heart boners for each other,
and getting into wacky adventures that sometimes involve unicorns or really
smart vegetarian ecoterrorists-in-training.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I like lasagna. I like reading out
on my back deck. I like going on walks and trying to get lost on purpose. I
talk a lot. Sometimes, I will go on Wikipedia and three hours will have passed
and I have gotten lost in a Wiki spiral. I also like dogs, cats, tacos, the way
it smells the morning after it rains, Britney Spears, men with beards, writing,
playing video games, and pulling weeds in my sorry excuse for a flowerbed that
wraps around my house.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I like laughing. I like making other
people laugh. Sometimes, I make people have Wookie Cry Face. I’m not a people
person, to be honest. I have anxiety disorder and it sometimes fucks with my
head a little bit. I’m still not all the way okay after events that started in
December 2013 that led to a necessary dissolution of a relationship I was in.
Eric needed to focus on himself, and I couldn’t find a way to be part of that
focus, and for that, I sometimes feel like a failure, like I wasn't strong enough to do what other people could have done in my place. I get nervous in front of
large crowds, even if people don’t think I do. I like to write how I think
people talk. I started telling people I was gay when I was thirteen years old
because it was the closest thing that made sense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, hi!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m TJ Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My real name is Travis Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I answer to both.</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m also a sex-positive asexual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, I know what you’re thinking. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Really, Tj Klune? You like BRITNEY SPEARS?
WTH.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And to that, I say shut up. I love
her. She will always be my queen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You may also be thinking,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> sex-positive asexual? What is…that</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that’s a fair question.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you look at <a href="http://www.asexuality.org/">www.asexuality.org</a>, you’ll see that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">asexual</i> is defined as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">someone who does not experience sexual
attraction</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s a fair definition, even if
it’s a bit broad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If we were to delve into it a bit
further (because there is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i>
subsets to the subsets), there is the term <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">homoromantic</i>,
which is defined as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a person who is
romantically attracted to a member of the same sex</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sex-positive</i>
means that I can understand and appreciate the sexual aspect of a relationship,
even if I don’t necessarily need it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, if we’re being specific, I’m a
sex-positive homoromantic asexual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And holy shit, that is a fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mouthful</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which is why, for the longest time,
I just thought I was gay. And that’s what I told other people. Because I didn’t
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i> you could be anything else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Look, I’ve had sex with men. Quite a
lot of sex, if I’m being honest. But ever since I lost my virginity, I never
really understood why I wasn’t feeling the way others seemed to feel about it,
or why I didn’t have the same reaction my partners had. I’ve had sex. I’ve had
what can probably be labeled as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">holy fuck
that was good</i> sex. I can…um. Complete. Finish. Glaze donuts, make you look like a lava lamp, or whatever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But the sex never felt like what I
thought it was supposed to feel like. I could understand the motions behind it.
I could understand the good and the bad of it. I learned to know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how</i> to do it. It has always been
consensual. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It just never felt like more.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am okay with sex.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I just don’t need to have it. And,
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was easier for me to identify as
gay, because I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">attracted</i> to men.
I don’t want to have sex with women. I don’t want to be in a relationship with
a woman. If I ever saw myself in a relationship, I always thought it would be
with a man. That hasn’t changed since I was eleven years old.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But I don’t know that I want to do
that anymore. Because I don’t know that that’s who I am.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you look above at the first
definition of asexuality, it says an asexual does not experience <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sexual attraction</i>. There is a difference
between attraction and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sexual</i>
attraction. I tend to be attracted to the way people talk. The way they laugh.
The way they think. I am attracted to sarcasm and snark and intelligence. It’s
not about being sexual. It’s about being compatible. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have never been sexually abused.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have never been hurt in a sexual
way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I just don’t <i>need</i> sex.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that’s okay. It really is. I am
learning to be happy again. I am learning more about myself than I have in the
previous thirty three years. I’m learning that I am one weird motherfucker, and
that’s okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So what does that mean for you?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Good news!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Absolutely nothing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because nothing will change.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s just a label, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Did you see those things I wrote
about myself before?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Those</i>
are the things that define me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am weird and quirky and I talk too
much and sometimes, I can’t control the way my brain thinks. Sometimes, I get
sad and don’t know how to fix it. It usually goes away by itself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Labels aren’t necessary. Just because
I’m a certain way, shouldn’t necessarily mean much to others. If you like me, I
hope it’s because of all the reasons I listed first. If you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t</i> like me, I hope it’s because of
those same reasons.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Being asexual may be a part of me,
but it doesn’t define me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Why the label, then? What was the point of all of this?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I've tried to be very transparent in the last four years since I've been an author. Many of you reading this have been here since the beginning, seeing me fumble my way through being in a spotlight for the first time in my life. Some of it was good. Some of it bad. Much of it probably awkward and cringe-worthy. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> But I've always tried to be as honest as possible with anyone who follows me. There have been times I've received emails or comments from some sixteen or seventeen year old, saying how my stories have helped them figure out who they were. And if I can keep on doing that, I will. This is me saying that this is who I am. This is the way I'm supposed to be. And you can sure as shit bet I will fight tooth and nail for every shred of happiness I can allow myself to have. And if that helps someone else, then I like to think I've accomplished what I've set out to do. Label yourself, don't label yourself, it doesn't matter. Just find a reason to be happy with who you are or who you could be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> So. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hi!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m TJ Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My real name is Travis Klune.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I answer to both. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I like carrot sticks. And putting
sour cream on pizza. And watching cat videos on YouTube. My brother and I still
think farts are funny. I have a nephew who I adore, and I think my sister is one
of the strongest people alive. I really like my friends. I’m going to a couple
of baseball games next weekend with Abi Roux, even though baseball is boring. I
had a bad week at work this week, so I’m glad it’s the weekend. I want to write
a book about an author who writes monster porn. I’m probably going to mow the
lawn tomorrow. I like ketchup on way too many things, Stephen King, Fallout 3,
Jennifer Lopez romantic comedies, classical music, driving with the sunroof
open, and Christmas (119 more days!!!!)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s who I am. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s what I do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I just also happen to be asexual.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And you know what?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-16665942278398643872015-08-15T11:34:00.000-07:002015-08-15T11:47:47.174-07:00Post-Release Thoughts on The Lightning-Struck Heart & What's Next<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
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</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> There was a moment in The Lightning-Struck
Heart that I knew there was no going back. It was a point in which I had to
decide if I wanted this to be crack or if I wanted this book to be mega-crack.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> It really should have been a harder
decision than it was. Frankly, I am a little embarrassed about how easily I
caved into mega-crack.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Can you figure it out?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sure, there are plenty of moments
that I’m sure you had while reading that made you go<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> TJ got into the </i>good<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> shit
when he was writing this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>And I
almost wish I could use that as an excuse, but unfortunately I can’t. This book
shows just how exactly my mind works, probably more so than anything else I’ve
ever written. It’s not a pretty sight, and is undoubtedly very strange, but I
think I was tired of holding back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ve been criticized that the humor
doesn’t stop, allowing readers a moment to breathe, that it can be
overwhelming. That is certainly a fair criticism that I would never dispute. My
humor is not for everyone, much like the books I write are not going to be for
everyone. And that’s okay. I will never write a book that is universally loved
because not everyone likes the same thing. One person might think my books are
funny while another thinks they are overwrought and boorish. But I like that
dichotomy, because it shows just how varied people can be. I like quick
dialogue. I like a rapid fire pace. And I won't change or apologize for that. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> The point of no return?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Gary/Kevin sex scene where
Gary’s safe word is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sam</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah, I think that even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I</i> was slightly horrified that I decided
to go that direction.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And when Gary and Kevin started
their long-term relationship and were magically inclined to believe that Sam
was their child?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t even know, man. That was a
thing that happened and I honestly stopped and stared at the screen for a
while, finally saying, “What the fuck is going on here.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Below, I’m going to discuss a few
things in the book. Obviously, there be spoilers ahead, so beware. I’ll also
discuss the future of Tales From Verania, so you know my plans for my merry
band of crack babies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Gary&Tiggy</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Now, be honest with me. If someone
had told you that the favorite character out of a fantasy book full of
characters would be hornless gay unicorn named Gary who ate sass for breakfast,
would you have believed them?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah, me neither.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But here’s the thing. I’ve said
before that without Gary, I wouldn’t have written this book because Gary was
the first voice I heard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knew</i> when I started writing him, almost
from the very first chapter, that he was going to steal every single goddamn
scene he was in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wouldn’t have had it
any other way. And the fact that he was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">in</i>
almost every single scene? Well, that just made it all the more important for
me to write him as best as I possible could </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To me, Gary is a fierce, independent
unicorn who don’t need no mens, but there is something fragile about him. I
didn’t delve into a lot of the mentioned past abuse he and Tiggy underwent at
the hands of Koklanaris, but I think it was a very serious thing that went on
for a long time. And the fact that his horn is missing (and just how did <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> happen?) only added to the
insecurities he must have had. All of which he hides under an exterior shell of
bitchy wordplay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And Tiggy, man. I was honestly
surprised just how many people loved Tiggy as they have. Nearly for every
mention of Gary, Tiggy is sure to follow, and that makes me happier than I
could ever say. For a while, I was worried Tiggy would be overshadowed by the
others, given that he is a half-giant of a few words, and the words he uses
could make him seem simpler than the others. And that would be a fair argument,
though that was never my intent. Tiggy doesn’t have the mind of a child, nor is
he one. I think that’s just how he is. He’s not stupid. He’s not an imbecile.
He’s Tiggy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Favorite
Scene & Easter Eggs</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Writing comedy can be very difficult,
especially when writing some of the bigger scenes with multiple lines of
dialogue. I by no means am a master at it, but I’d like to think that I have
the hang of it by now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly, I’ve
had enough practice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the bigger scenes can be like
set pieces in an action movie. You know, those big, huge spectacular
spectaculars that are meant to make your eyes widen more than any other part of
the movie. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In comedy, think the awkward dinner
scenes in the BOATK books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or the first
date between Paul and Vince in TMIR with a certain hippo video.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>These scenes generally become my
favorite because they take so long to work on. I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">proud</i> of them by the time they are done, because I really want to
make them shine, so later, when you’re finished, they stick out in your mind as
being some of the parts you remember the most.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My favorite comedic set piece in
TLSH?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I could almost say the river scene
with a wet Ryan and how Sam has wood. Or Kevin’s introduction, where Sam learns
his name for the first time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But honestly, there really is no
contest, because for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>, it will
always pale in comparison to the chapter titled <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are You a Foxy Lady or a Sam Girl?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>God, do I love that chapter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina DeSilva, man. Sam’s arch
nemeses. She is a fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hoot</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The idea of fan clubs and shipping
just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">intrigues</i> me. Why is that a
thing in our culture? Why do people ship characters from a TV show or movie or
book, either because they are actually together in whatever media they are in or
not? There are literally <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">millions</i> of
Tumblr pages dedicated to shipping characters and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I don’t know why</i>. But I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">love </i>it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I wanted to use that, in a way, in TLSH
(also, I should point out that shipping of book characters plays a big part in
my next book, How to Be a Normal Person, out this October, /end shameless
plug). But since this was a fantasy setting, there was no Tumblr.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So a fan club was born. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There are fans.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then there are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">super</i>fans. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The ladies (and Mervin) are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">super</i>fans.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There is a bit of a Gary Stu quality
to Sam, because everyone does seem to be charmed by him, whether or not he’s
actively trying. I am aware of that. It was really rather intentional. Lady
Tina represented a counterpoint to that because they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">despise </i>each other. And that’s not going to change. Tina will
always hate him and vice versa, because I think that anything else would be a
disservice to the antagonistic relationship they have between them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That scene, though. When they see
Ryan for the first time and all of them scream, even Sam?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That just cracked me up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And you may have noticed a few (more
than a few) references in the book to other things. So far, people have found
the Hustle & Flow reference, the Top Gun reference, the Super Mario Bros.
reference, and Friends (Russ and Rochelle!) reference in the book. There are a
few that haven’t been pointed out as of yet. Easter eggs like that make me
happy (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">especially</i> the Super Mario
Bros. one), just because they really have no place in a book like this. But I
put them in there, anyway, just because I could.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
Future of Verania</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Inevitably, (in this case, on the
first day, JFC) a question gets asked on a book like this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When
is there going to be a sequel</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I honestly didn’t set out to write a
series.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> Seriously.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have too many other books going
on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But by the time I’d finished, I saw
just how big of a world I’d written here. And just how many stories there could
be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then there was the fact that I
didn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i> to leave Verania. I
enjoyed my time there far too much to say goodbye just yet. This book came at a
time when I needed to write something happy more than any other point in my
life. It helped put my sanity back together and gave me a purpose.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So yes. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There will be sequels.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Two, in fact. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I can’t say when. I have a few other
long-awaited things to do first (BOATK4) (BURN2 yes, I hear you Burn fans, you can put down the pitchforks now), but there will be more stories
here. That idea of a destiny of dragons intrigues me, as does what exactly a
cornerstone will do to protect the one he loves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But that seems like a little while
off yet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I just don’t want to wait <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">too</i> long.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Coming next month, right here, I’ll
be releasing the very first Tales From Verania short story. I hope to make this
a series that I’ll publish a story every few months on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The first subject?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lady Tina DeSilva leading a fan club
meeting after the events of TLSH, and trying to keep Rystin alive. And by the
end, she will have her own destiny to fulfill.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>God, this got long.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My bad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I tend to do that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you’ve read all the way to the
end, and did the same with TLSH, I thank you. If you have yet to read it and
just read a shitload of spoilers, I say thank you (and also, what the fuck).
The sheer amount of you that have embraced this book like you have was not
something I expected. Because of you, I get to keep on doing what I’m doing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>TJ</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">PS:
I’ll see you next month when we do this whole book release thing all over again
when I start teasing—er, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">promoting</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How to Be a Normal Person.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">T</span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-83515688558880799372015-07-18T08:56:00.001-07:002015-07-18T09:02:47.365-07:00Pre-Release Thoughts on The Lightning-Struck Heart; Or, How I Learned To Like Myself Again<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXS2NnwySd1LZdWZJg57NV9DKfZJafX3Q4kNCqRTOa4vho4RfO96TVuE6g8jHcihlUCViSq2xnTQHRFduzETLqwkjthQxXevlGAaphkdmX8OKKBtXe2abKGNq8xzr1mmGzsKadP5Jj4OWI/s1600/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXS2NnwySd1LZdWZJg57NV9DKfZJafX3Q4kNCqRTOa4vho4RfO96TVuE6g8jHcihlUCViSq2xnTQHRFduzETLqwkjthQxXevlGAaphkdmX8OKKBtXe2abKGNq8xzr1mmGzsKadP5Jj4OWI/s400/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">On September 21<sup>st</sup>, 2014, I
texted author S.A. McAuley:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So,
this morning I started writing a medieval fantasy comedy that uses modern
language and has a sassy gay unicorn named Gary and I just stopped. It is
already 12K words and is so far beyond crack that it might was well be black
tar heroin.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She responded, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Please tell me there will be plague jokes.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To which I had to say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I ALREADY WROTE TWO</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Black
death for the literary win. Lambda repeat here you come!!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This same time a year ago, I was in
a very rough place. I was spiraling down into this strange and constrictive
abyss. I had just released <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Art Of
Breathing</i> the month before and did the re-release of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">John & Jackie</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was tired. I didn’t want to be on
social media. I didn’t want to have to promote. I didn’t want to interact.
Everything was a chore and I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tired</i>.
The fact that BOATK3 was any success at all is thanks to all of you as I didn’t
really do anything for it. It came out and I just left it there to do what it
would. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And by that point, last July, I
hadn’t written anything since December 2013 when everything went to shit. I
can’t be blamed for that, obviously, as my priorities were elsewhere. I didn’t
even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">think</i> about writing the first
part of last year, and when BOATK3 was released, the idea of writing anything
new was so exhausting that I couldn’t even be bothered.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, last July, I stepped away from
everything and just allowed myself to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">breathe</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It helped. It really did. It was a
slow and painful process that I’m still going through to this day, but it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">helped</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And randomly, one September morning,
I opened up a word doc and started writing again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Funnily enough, this book exists
because of a throwaway line from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me
It’s Real</i>. In it, Paul is commenting how Sandy snorted while eating radicchio,
and it was pretty. The color of the radicchio, not Sandy’s snort, because Sandy
wasn’t a unicorn, after all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I remember thinking, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">okay, but what if there </i>was<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> a unicorn</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Which, honestly, should have been my
first clue just how crack-tastic this book was going to be. Because who in
their right fucking mind thinks <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what if
there </i>was<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> a unicorn</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Apparently I do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And apparently I did.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Lightning-Struck</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Heart</i> is what
followed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Or, as it was originally titled, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Unicorn Star Fucker</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(Which, sadly, I wasn’t able to keep
the original title. Because of reasons.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(Those reasons being that apparently
you can’t put FUCKER on your cover.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(Whatever.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Lightning-Struck</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Heart</i> (TLSH) is
not going to be your typical fantasy novel. Obviously. Because I sure as shit
am not Tolkein or Pratchett, and I will never, ever be. I don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want</i> to be, either. This is the first
time I’ve written a fantasy novel of this sort, because I don’t ever want to be
pigeon-holed into writing contemporary or mystery or historical or any other
subgenre that’s out there. Every book I write, I want to have it be different
than the one before. If it wasn’t, if I chose to write the same book over and
over and over again (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Coming Soon, TJ
Klune’s Werewolf Mates of Love and Butt Stuff #37!!!!)</i>, I would go out of my
fucking mind. And you probably wouldn’t forgive me for being so lazy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What can I tell you about the TLHS? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam Haversford, the wizard and
narrator, is brilliant, smart, snarky and so completely convinced he can never
have the one person he wants.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ryan Foxheart, a knight with a
secret and a boyfriend who is not Sam (in fact, his boyfriend is the douchy
Prince Justin, the same Prince who Sam will one day serve when Justin ascends
to the throne.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, will
steal every fucking scene he’s in, the same way Sandy did in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me It’s Real</i>. I am very well
prepared for him to be the favorite, along with his partner in crime, the
half-giant Tiggy. It’s fitting, really, since Gary was the reason I started
writing this book to begin with.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it’s comedy, of course, because
when I started writing it, I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">needed</i>
to laugh. I love comedy and the wordplay that goes along with. I love super-quick dialogue with snarky banter that zips and zings. I love characters who accidentally blurt their feelings in a way that is both extraordinarily awkward and endearing. I couldn’t have written another BOATK book at that moment, or another
book along the lines of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn </i>or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i> because the angst alone would have
been such a turn off and I know I wouldn’t have been able to finish.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I told myself this wasn’t going to
be that type of book. I wanted to write a full out crack novel with snarky
humor, a hero that was prone to blurt his feelings, and a knight who was the dreamiest
thing ever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it worked!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>…at least at first.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because then the angst happened.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh, it’s not of the soul-crushing
variety, not like the BOATK books. Apparently, I’m quite incapable of writing a
book that has a sexually aggressive dragon in it without adding some
motherfucking angst. I don’t even know how it happened. It just did. I didn’t
even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">realize</i> it had happened until my
editor starting leaving messages in the manuscript accusing her of making her
cry and have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">feelings</i> in a book
called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Unicorn Star Fucker</i>, for
fuck’s sake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wookie cry face?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yes. Probably.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But it’s okay!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because I keep my promises.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I promise that there is a happy
ending here. Of course there will be, because this is a fairy tale (however
fractured it might be) and everyone knows they have to live happily ever after.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But up till that point, there will
be gay fairy kings who want to gay fairy marry Sam, a drag queen named Mama who
runs a gay brothel in a dark city, a bard who sings a twelve verse song called
“Cheesy Dicks and Candlesticks”, Dark Wizards who want revenge, inappropriate
obsessions with corn, questions on whether rimming is as awesome as it sounds,
a dragon’s keep, a meeting of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club City of Lockes
Chapter, deep discussions about whether riding horses is racist to a unicorn,
and a half giant who never gets to be naked when he wants to. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And all the while, you’ll get to see
two guys who are so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fucking</i> oblivious
about the way they feel about each other that you’ll want to knock their heads
together and scream at them to JUST FUCKING <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">KISS!!!!!!!!!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>By the time you read this, you’ll be
only two days away from going on this stupidly epic (or epically stupid) journey
of mine. I know it's taken us a while to get here. The dedication in the front of this novel reads as follows:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To those that have patiently waited for me to find my footing again, I say thank you. </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><b>This book is for you.</b> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I hope it’s worth the long wait.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I know it was for me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(Oh, and FYI—you want to know how I
pitched this book to my publisher? Legit, this is the complete email I sent:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hi!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have a new book for you.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It has gay unicorns and 170K words.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They are going to take my Lambda Award away from me for
this.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>I regret nothing.</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Happy reading!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">See, kids? Dreams really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> come true!)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-53350476624305030732015-06-20T07:11:00.000-07:002015-06-20T07:11:19.510-07:00First Look At The-Lightning-Struck HeartSo!<br />
<br />
Hi.<br />
<br />
How are you?<br />
<br />
Good, I hope.<br />
<br />
It's been a long time since we've been in this position, huh? The one where I'm about to release a book and get to relentlessly tease you about it for the next thirty days.<br />
<br />
God, how I have missed that feeling.<br />
<br />
Don't lie. I know you have too.<br />
<br />
What can I tell you about The Lightning-Struck Heart?<br />
<br />
It's the first thing I wrote after the shit storm that was life last year.<br />
<br />
It's the fastest I've ever written anything of this length ( 170K words in 2 1/2 months).<br />
<br />
It's a romantic comedy.<br />
<br />
It's pure crack.<br />
<br />
And, surprisingly angsty, at least in parts. I say <i>surprisingly</i> because I didn't mean for it to be. Honestly. I wanted something light and sweet and uncomplicated.<br />
<br />
Then I accidentally world-builded, created rules for magic, made a gay unicorn, and wanted to play around with the oblivious trope to the point where people would probably punch me in the face for how dumb these boys are going to be.<br />
<br />
And then came the angst.<br />
<br />
Not soul-crushing, mind you. This isn't BOATK or Into This River I Drown.<br />
<br />
But still.<br />
<br />
You will have Wookie Cry Face.<br />
<br />
And I regret nothing.<br />
<br />
Thanks for waiting for me to find my bearings again. I know it's taken awhile, but I have so many thing in the pipeline, that you'll probably get sick of how many books I have coming out.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
I'll have more to say as we get closer to the release on July 20th, 2015. But for now, I thought I'd give you a little taste of what to expect. <br />
<br />
So here: have the entire first chapter.<br />
<br />
Love, TJ<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=6663" target="_blank">Click For Pre-Order</a>!!!!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24468673-the-lightning-struck-heart" target="_blank">Click To Add On Goodreads</a>!!!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj93cP99RQdaDpZRMOhX5MxBG7tSlPncLYko_sBRrHvOu83SrPH4F_r1NRn0Ht3rmA-CGLZM6d_4WoNtU6Jo2xV7QYQha612fddZfKojZfyjJYeEDXcO0Def_MjyOdu5leSfJWzOr8w19Az/s1600/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_headerbanner%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="50" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj93cP99RQdaDpZRMOhX5MxBG7tSlPncLYko_sBRrHvOu83SrPH4F_r1NRn0Ht3rmA-CGLZM6d_4WoNtU6Jo2xV7QYQha612fddZfKojZfyjJYeEDXcO0Def_MjyOdu5leSfJWzOr8w19Az/s400/LightningStruckHeart%255BThe%255D_headerbanner%255B1%255D.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Chapter 1. The Villain Monologues<br />
<br />
“AND NOW, I will tell you of my plans to take over the Kingdom,”
the evil wizard and total douchebag Lartin the Dark Leaf said with a
cackle.<br />
<br />
“Please don’t,” I said. “You really don’t have to.”<br />
<br />
Of course he didn’t listen. Villains never do. That’s why they
suck. A lot. It didn’t help that my arms and legs were bound with
vermilion root. That shit is hardcore. No lie.<br />
<br />
“You see, back when I was a child, I always knew that I was different. That I was meant for <i>greater</i>
things than what my father had planned for me.” Lartin looked out
toward the cave entrance almost wistfully, as if thinking of his
childhood days. What a dick. “He always looked down on me with scorn
because I never wanted to be an ironsmith. He always said that—”<br />
<br />
“Do you think he realizes we don’t care?” Gary asked me. He
sounded really bitchy when he said it, but if you were a hornless gay
unicorn, you’d be bitchy too. “Like, seriously. Don’t care. At all.”<br />
<br />
I shrugged as Lartin looked at us in disbelief. “He has daddy issues.”<br />
<br />
“I don’t have <i>daddy</i> issues,” Lartin said, sounding annoyed.<br />
<br />
“So that gives him the right to monologue?” Gary snorted. When he
did, little pink and purple sparkles shot out his nose. Being a unicorn
is awesome like that.<br />
<br />
“He’s a villain,” I said. “It’s what they do. They have to
broadcast their entire plan when they think they’ve won because no one
else will ever listen to them.”<br />
<br />
“Lame,” Gary said, glancing at Lartin. “Girl, I really don’t care. Unbind my legs before I scratch your eyes out.”<br />
<br />
“You don’t have fingers,” I reminded him. “You can’t scratch anything.”<br />
<br />
“He’s lucky I don’t have my horn back yet,” Gary muttered.
“There’d be so much goring, it’d be unreal. It’d be like Gore City up in
here. These roots are chafing. He should undo them.”<br />
<br />
“Are you going to undo them?” I asked Lartin.<br />
<br />
“Uh, no?” he said. “You know I captured you and you’re my prisoners, right?<br />
<br />
“Did he?” I asked Gary.<br />
<br />
“Well, we <i>are</i> tied up,” Gary said. “And not in the fun way.”<br />
<br />
“I don’t want to know when you’ve been tied up in the fun way,” I told him.<br />
<br />
He rolled his eyes. “Sam, you are such a prude.”<br />
<br />
“Guys?” Lartin said. “I have a plan? That I need to tell you about? You need to listen.”<br />
<br />
“I am <i>not</i> a prude,” I said to Gary. “Just because I don’t talk about… you know. <i>Sex</i> stuff. That doesn’t make me a prude.”<br />
<br />
“Your face just turned red when you stuttered on the word sex,” Gary said. “I almost believed you.”<br />
<br />
“I didn’t <i>stutter</i>.”<br />
<br />
“You kind of stuttered,” Lartin said. Because he was an asshole
who I was totally going to kick in the balls before the day was up. “Can
I get back to my story? I really think you’ll appreciate the many
facets of my character once you hear it. I’m dynamic and—”<br />
<br />
“When were you tied up?” I demanded. “Unicorns aren’t <i>allowed</i> to be whorish. You’re supposed to be all virtuous and pristine!”<br />
<br />
“Oh please,” Gary said. “How do you think I was created?”<br />
<br />
<i>Huh.</i> “Honestly? I always thought unicorns were made from
sunshine and rainbows and good feelings. Like you just appeared one day
in a field filled with flowers and a big fat sunbeam falling all around
you. And there’d be butterflies or something.” That sounded way pretty.
And realistic for unicorn creation.<br />
<br />
Gary squinted at me, nostrils flaring. “Seriously? No, you idiot.
My parents had hardcore unicorn sex. Like boned for days. They’re very
adventurous that way. Up in trees, down by rivers, near graveyards at
midnight. There really isn’t anywhere they haven’t spread the love.”<br />
<br />
“Oh my goodness,” Lartin whispered. “Is this really happening?”<br />
<br />
“Gross,” I said. “That’s just gross.”<br />
<br />
“Hey! Unicorn sex is a beautiful thing!”<br />
<br />
“Yeah, but that’s your <i>parents </i>you’re talking about. That’s wrong on so many levels. And why haven’t I met them? Or heard about them?”<br />
<br />
“They’re touring the Outer Reaches with their swingers group.”<br />
<br />
“Swingers?”<br />
<br />
“Yeah. Like partner swapping. Maybe orgies. I don’t know.”<br />
<br />
I was horrified, and I’m sure it showed on my face. “Dude! What!”<br />
<br />
“Prude,” Gary said.<br />
<br />
“I’m not a prude! I just don’t see why we have to talk about sex all the time. Or your parents being in orgies!”<br />
<br />
“Well, I guess you can’t understand what you’ve never had,” Gary said, a mean little curl to his stupid unicorn lips.<br />
<br />
“You’re a virgin?” Lartin said.<br />
<br />
“You bitch,” I said to Gary. “And <i>no</i>, I’m <i>not</i> a virgin.”<br />
<br />
“You so are,” Gary said, because apparently this morning he’d eaten sass for breakfast. “A twenty-year-old virgin.”<br />
<br />
“No! There was that one guy! At that thing! With the people!” My argument was sound.<br />
<br />
“That didn’t count. He kissed you, and you came in your pants,
and then you proceeded to tell him how his hair reminded you of your
father.”<br />
<br />
“It <i>did</i>. It’s not <i>my</i> fault he had dad hair!”<br />
<br />
“<i>I’m</i> not even a virgin,” Lartin said, sounding smug.
“The ladies all want up on Little Lartin. There is so much sex to be had
when I’m around.”<br />
<br />
Gary glared at him. “You call your dick Little Lartin? Dude. Wrong.”<br />
<br />
“I don’t have <i>time</i> for all the relations and courting and wooing bullshit,” I said. “I’m a <i>wizard</i>. I have <i>quests</i>.”<br />
<br />
“Uh, you’re an apprentice,” Gary said. “And you’re sent on errands.”<br />
<br />
“You know how you wanted to dye a strip of your mane purple?” I said.<br />
<br />
“Yes. Because I’d be beautiful.”<br />
<br />
“Well, too fucking bad,” I said savagely. “I’m not going to do it. You’re just going to have keep it white. Forever.”<br />
<br />
“You promised!”<br />
<br />
“That was before you were a jerk!”<br />
<br />
“Oh my gods,” Gary said. “Lartin. Get over here and untie me. I want to kick Sam in the fucking face.”<br />
<br />
“No! He’s going to untie <i>me</i> so I can hex the shit out of you. Lartin. Get your ass over here and untie me.”<br />
<br />
“Um,” Lartin said. “I don’t know if you guys understand the point of being captured. Like… I captured you? Right? And so—”<br />
<br />
“No,” Gary said. “Not <i>right</i>. You caught us off guard
because we were looking for wormwood in the Dark Woods, and we just
happened to stumble into your camp, and you took advantage of a
situation. That doesn’t count as capturing. That counts as being an
asshole.”<br />
<br />
“When were you tied up?” I asked again.<br />
<br />
“You’re still on that?” Gary asked. “Ugh.”<br />
<br />
“You brought it up.”<br />
<br />
“Fine! It was that centaur we met last year. In the elf realm.”<br />
<br />
“You said you were just <i>friends</i>!”<br />
<br />
“We were. We were just the kind of friends that tied each other up and pushed our penises together.”<br />
<br />
“What was his name again?”<br />
<br />
“Octavio,” Gary said with a dreamy sigh. “The <i>hands</i> that half man had.”<br />
<br />
“I have hands,” Lartin said. “I’ve tied you up.”<br />
<br />
“Is he hitting on me?” Gary whispered loudly.<br />
<br />
“Are you hitting on him?” I asked Lartin.<br />
<br />
“No! I was just pointing out similarities of the situations.”<br />
<br />
“I think he was hitting on you,” I told Gary.<br />
<br />
Gary looked back at Lartin and sized him up. Then he did that
thing that I swear only unicorns can do. His blue eyes got impossibly
big. His eyelashes lengthened as he fluttered them at Lartin. His mane
was luminous in the darkened cave, and he purred, “Well aren’t you
precious.”<br />
<br />
“Ew,” I said. “Seriously.”<br />
<br />
Lartin blushed. “Oh, stop it.”<br />
<br />
“Does Little Lartin want to come out to play?” Gary asked, batting his eyes.<br />
<br />
“I wish I were anywhere else but where I am,” I said to no one in particular<br />
<br />
“Maybe,” Lartin said, trying for coy but somehow landing on straight-out creepy.<br />
<br />
Gary giggled. He <i>giggled</i>. “Well, <i>maybe</i> I should tell you that my tongue is fifteen inches of the best thing you’ll ever have.”<br />
<br />
“Yuck,” I said. “That just sounds excessive.”<br />
<br />
“I’ve never done it with a horse,” Lartin said. “Sounds… illuminating.”<br />
<br />
“Oh, you shouldn’t have said that,” I told him.<br />
<br />
“<i>Horse</i>?” Gary snarled. The pretty unicorn act dropped immediately. Red sparks shot from his nose. “Did you just call me a <i>horse</i>? Listen here, you two-legged bag of shit. I’m not a motherfucking <i>horse</i>. I am a <i>unicorn</i>, and I am <i>magic</i> and a beautiful creature made of fucking sunshine and rainbows and good feelings.”<br />
<br />
“I knew it,” I whispered.<br />
<br />
“Get your ass over here so I can stomp on your face,” Gary said
to Lartin. “Untie me, lie down on the ground, and let me stomp your
face.”<br />
<br />
“You don’t have a horn,” Lartin pointed out.<br />
<br />
“That’s just rude,” I said. “I didn’t point out that your nose is really big. Why would you say something like that?”<br />
<br />
“Sam,” Gary said tearfully. “He called me a <i>horse</i>.”<br />
<br />
“Hey,” I said. “Hey. Look at me.”<br />
<br />
He did. His eyes were wet, and I wanted to punch Lartin in the spleen.<br />
<br />
“Who is the most beautiful unicorn in all of Verania?”<br />
<br />
“Me,” Gary sniffed.<br />
<br />
“And who has the prettiest mane?”<br />
<br />
“Me.”<br />
<br />
“And who is a badass motherfucker who’ll gut a bitch?”<br />
<br />
“Me!”<br />
<br />
“Damn right.”<br />
<br />
“Sam?”<br />
<br />
“Yeah?”<br />
<br />
“We’ll find my horn, right?”<br />
<br />
“I promise,” I said. Because we would. It was important to him so
it was important to me. It’d been stolen long ago, years before I’d met
him. He couldn’t even look himself in the mirror without cringing. That
was unacceptable.<br />
<br />
“And we can dye my mane purple when we get out of here?”<br />
<br />
“First thing,” I said. “I already bought the dye before we left the city.”<br />
<br />
“You love me,” Gary sighed.<br />
<br />
“I do.”<br />
<br />
“Okay, I feel better now.”<br />
<br />
“Good.”<br />
<br />
“So, are we going to finish, or what?” Lartin said.<br />
<br />
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Do your villain thing.”<br />
<br />
“This is so stupid,” Gary muttered.<br />
<br />
Lartin’s eyes lit up. He posed in front of us again. “So it was my <i>father</i> that—”<br />
<br />
“Daddy issues,” Gary coughed.<br />
<br />
Lartin glared at him.<br />
<br />
“Sorry,” Gary said. He wasn’t sorry. “I had something in my throat.”<br />
<br />
“My father said that I would never—”<br />
<br />
“We didn’t lose that bag of wormwood, did we?” I asked Gary.<br />
<br />
“Nah,” Gary said. “It’s still in the satchel on my back.”<br />
<br />
“Good. Morgan would be pissed if we forgot that.”<br />
<br />
“He’s going to be pissed already. We were supposed to be back yesterday.”<br />
<br />
“We would have,” I said. “If <i>some</i> people hadn’t decided to tie us up in a cave.”<br />
<br />
Gary and I stared at Lartin.<br />
<br />
“You guys are the worst prisoners <i>ever</i>,” he muttered. Then his eyes went wide. “Did you say Morgan?”<br />
<br />
“You shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Gary said. “That’s rude. We weren’t listening to you, so you shouldn’t be listening to us.”<br />
<br />
“You’re apprenticed to <i>Morgan</i>?” Lartin squeaked. “Morgan of Shadows?”<br />
<br />
I grinned at him. “The one and the same.”<br />
<br />
“Oh no,” Lartin moaned. “You’re Sam of Wilds.”<br />
<br />
“Such a sexy name,” Gary sighed. “Have I ever told you that?”<br />
<br />
“Thank you,” I said, pleased. “It sounds very rugged, doesn’t
it?” I’d worked very hard on earning that name. It’d change again when I
was a full-on wizard, but it was good enough for now.<br />
<br />
Gary laughed. “Yeah, but then people meet you and you’re all skinny and adorable, and they’re all like <i>whaaaa</i>?”<br />
<br />
“I think you meant to say muscular and dangerous,” I said. “You got your words confused again.”<br />
<br />
“No, I’m pretty sure I got them right. As I always do. To be muscular you have to have muscles.”<br />
<br />
“I have muscles!” I tried to flex, but my hands were bound behind me, and it didn’t work out so well. “Okay. Shut up. But I <i>am</i> dangerous.”<br />
<br />
“Yeah, okay,” Gary said.<br />
<br />
“I am!”<br />
<br />
“Honey, you’re pouting. That’s not dangerous. It’s adorable.”<br />
<br />
“I’m not pouting,” I said as I pouted.<br />
<br />
“Aww,” Gary said.<br />
<br />
“Aww,” Lartin said.<br />
<br />
“Shut up, Lartin!”<br />
<br />
“Okay, so can we leave?” Gary asked.<br />
<br />
We both looked at Lartin.<br />
<br />
“You’re Sam of Wilds,” he said.<br />
<br />
“No shit,” I said.<br />
<br />
“Do you know how much you’re <i>worth</i>?”<br />
<br />
“Oh, not again,” I groaned.<br />
<br />
“I could totally ransom you!” Lartin said excitedly. “It would fund my world domination plans for the next six years!”<br />
<br />
“Morgan’s going to be so mad at you,” Gary said to me.<br />
<br />
“It’s not my fault!”<br />
<br />
“Well, you do get captured a lot.”<br />
<br />
“I suppose.”<br />
<br />
“And everyone knows your name.”<br />
<br />
“Right? How weird is that?”<br />
<br />
“Totally weird.”<br />
<br />
“So much gold,” Lartin said as he paced back and forth. “Pounds and pounds of <i>gold.</i>”<br />
<br />
“Hey, Sam?”<br />
<br />
“Yes, Gary.”<br />
<br />
“Has Morgan ever paid a ransom for you?”<br />
<br />
“Nope. Not once.”<br />
<br />
“And why is that?”<br />
<br />
“He said that if I was dumb enough to get caught, then I’d have to figure my own way out.”<br />
<br />
“Ah,” Gary said.<br />
<br />
Lartin stopped. “Never paid?”<br />
<br />
“Not once,” I told him. “Can you let us go now?”<br />
<br />
“No!” he snapped. “I am sick of this! You are going to sit there,
I am going to tell you my plan, and then I’m going to get so much gold
that I won’t be able to <i>carry</i> it all.”<br />
<br />
“Then how are you going to move it?” Gary asked.<br />
<br />
“Move what?” Lartin looked perplexed.<br />
<br />
“You just said you were going to get so much gold that you
weren’t going to be able to carry it,” I said. “So how are you going to
move it if you can’t carry it?”<br />
<br />
“Oh,” Lartin said. “Well, shit.”<br />
<br />
“Wow,” Gary said. “If that’s how well you think things through, I
can’t wait to hear your plans for world domination. I’m sure they’ll be
positively riveting. And well thought-out.”<br />
<br />
“Burn,” I said. “You just got so burned. You’ll have scars from all the burn.”<br />
<br />
“I’ll buy a cart!” Lartin exclaimed. “And a horse.” Then he went
back to being a complete douche. “Or I’ll just keep the unicorn here and
he can pull it for me.”<br />
<br />
“Oh, bitch, say that to my face, bitch,” Gary snarled. “Come on. I dare you.”<br />
<br />
“I wouldn’t say that to his face,” I said. “Even if he dared you.”<br />
<br />
But Lartin the Dark Leaf was an idiot. The wizarding clan of the
Darks usually were. So it was no surprise when Lartin stepped forward
and said, “You’ll pull my cart. <i>Horse</i>.”<br />
<br />
That’s when the nine foot half-giant named Tiggy roared and burst into the cave.<br />
<br />
“Sam,” he rumbled. “Gary.”<br />
<br />
“You’re so dead,” Gary said to Lartin. “You don’t even know. Tiggy! Smash him!”<br />
<br />
And since Tiggy loved Gary so, he moved forward to do just that.<br />
<br />
“Wait, Tiggy,” I said.<br />
<br />
And since Tiggy loved me so, he waited.<br />
<br />
Gary looked murderous. “Sam,” he growled. And if you’ve never
heard a unicorn growl, let me tell you: it’s delightfully frightening.<br />
<br />
“Your angry face is awesome,” I said to him.<br />
<br />
He preened. “I’ve been practicing. Watch.” He glared at me, eyes narrowing, teeth bared. “See?”<br />
<br />
“I got chills,” I assured him.<br />
<br />
“I smash now?” Tiggy asked.<br />
<br />
Of course, Lartin tried to mutter off some defensive spell. Little green lights arced around Tiggy before they dissipated.<br />
<br />
“You’re not a very good wizard, are you?” I said. “Giant, dude. Their blood is like the antimagic. Come <i>on</i>. You learn that on your first day of wizard training!”<br />
<br />
“I smash now.” Tiggy looked very pissed off. He usually was when
his two favorite people in the entire world were captured. Come to think
of it, maybe it did happen a lot.<br />
<br />
“Just hold on, Tiggy,” I said.<br />
<br />
“No, don’t hold on,” Gary said. “I want to see his insides on the outside.”<br />
<br />
“So bloodthirsty,” I said in awe.<br />
<br />
“I would prefer there to not be any smashing,” Lartin said. “If I’m being totally honest.”<br />
<br />
But Tiggy was done with the situation, so he smashed Lartin the
Dark Leaf. Multiple times. Into a variety of objects. Like rocks. And
cave walls. It wasn’t a very pretty sight. What with the blood and
stuff. And the brains.<br />
<br />
When the smashing was complete, Tiggy came over and snapped the
vermilion roots that bound me and my magic. As soon as the roots fell, I
felt a surge of green and gold and yellow flow through me. “So much
better,” I muttered.<br />
<br />
“Always get caught,” Tiggy grumbled as he tended to the roots at Gary’s feet.<br />
<br />
“Now that’s not specifically true. I’ll be honest, though. I’ve
grown as a person this time around and will pledge to avoid capture in
the future.” That was not the complete truth. I would most likely get
captured again. It was sort of my thing.<br />
<br />
“Who’s my big strong man,” Gary cooed at Tiggy.<br />
<br />
Tiggy blushed. “Me.”<br />
<br />
“Yes, you are. I knew you’d come and rescue me. I was like a princess waiting for her hero!”<br />
<br />
“So pretty,” Tiggy said, running his big hand gently through Gary’s mane. “My pretty princess.”<br />
<br />
“Can we leave the cave now?” I asked. “You guys can flirt later.”<br />
<br />
“It’s okay, Tiggy,” Gary said. “Sam’s just dealing with some
issues. He recently came to the realization that he’s a twenty-year-old
virgin prude.”<br />
<br />
“I am <i>not</i>!”<br />
<br />
“I told him about Octavio,” Gary said. “Sam couldn’t even say the word <i>sex</i> without stuttering.”<br />
<br />
“Sam never gonna find a boyfriend,” Tiggy said. “No one gonna take his flower.”<br />
<br />
“Don’t talk about my flower!” I snapped at them as I checked the
satchel on Gary’s back. The wormwood was still wrapped safely where I’d
left it. So at least this wasn’t a complete loss. “And I don’t <i>need</i>
a boyfriend. I am an independent man with priorities. I’m going to be
the youngest wizard to pass his apprenticeship, and then I’m going to do
great things. Big things!”<br />
<br />
“Oh?” Gary said. And he grinned evilly. Evil unicorn smiles are
the sign of wicked things about to be said. I hated them. “So I suppose a
certain knight doesn’t factor into those priorities whatsoever? Like
maybe you want to be the youngest full wizard just to impress him?”<br />
<br />
“You shut your whore mouth,” I growled, trying to not sigh
dreamily at the thought of bright green eyes and a beautiful smile. And
wavy blond hair. Like, the waviest. I wanted to touch it with my face.
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”<br />
<br />
“Uh-huh,” Gary said.<br />
<br />
“You want mouth full of knight,” Tiggy said. “Knight take your flower and eat it.”<br />
<br />
“Tiggy!” I shouted, scandalized.<br />
<br />
“Such a prude,” Gary muttered.<br />
<br />
“I hate you both. So much.”<br />
<br />
And to prove my point, I stormed out of the cave.<br />
<br />
But they obviously didn’t believe me, because they followed me.<br />
<br />
Like I knew they would. I’m lucky that way, I guess.TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-75673781103529284452015-05-09T12:57:00.000-07:002015-05-09T12:57:21.705-07:00Beauty In The Breakdown: A ReduxThings are different now.<br />
<br />
I last wrote on this blog ten months ago, right at the time when I was at my bleakest. It was a culmination of events that began in December of 2013 and led to me not recognizing myself anymore, or even in a position capable of doing so. I felt lost, unsure of what I was doing or where I was going. <br />
<br />
I tend to not take care of myself during highly stressful times. Usually, I'm so focused on making sure everyone and everything else is okay that I don't stop to think about myself. It's how I'm conditioned. To this day, I still feel some guilt over the my perceived selfishness at shutting down and walking away for as long as I did.<br />
<br />
It was necessary.<br />
<br />
I know that.<br />
<br />
But that still doesn't mean that I was okay with it.<br />
<br />
My body, however, had had enough and I just collapsed within myself.<br />
<br />
I wasn't a very good friend to people during that time. I was even worse (and really, still am) at responding to the hundreds of messages I'd received.<br />
<br />
I knew, though, that I couldn't keep going as I was.<br />
<br />
So I stopped. Stepped away.<br />
<br />
Took some time to breathe.<br />
<br />
Things are different now.<br />
<br />
I went to therapy.<br />
<br />
It helped. Sort of.<br />
<br />
I was diagnosed with PTSD, which, honestly, sounds as ridiculous now as it did in August of last year. I was not in a war. I have never been a victim of a violent act. <br />
<br />
I told the therapist this.<br />
<br />
She laughed slightly and said, "It's not about what you have or haven't done,. It's about what's happened <i>to</i> you. You're smart. Don't act dumb about this. It's trauma plain and simple."<br />
<br />
God, I hated that.<br />
<br />
It made sense. I still hated it.<br />
<br />
Full transparency: Eric won't be coming to live in Virginia with me. Logistically, it's just not possible. In Indiana, he has his family that is able to provide the care he needs. If he came here, it would just be me. I can't give him what he needs, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us. Medicare doesn't pay for as much as you might think it does, meaning a round the clock nurse, which he would have to have if he came here as I work 50 hours a week and write another 20 hours a week on top of that. <br />
<br />
It sucks. We were dealt a very shitty hand. I have raged at the unfairness of it all to the point where I didn't even know what to think anymore.<br />
<br />
But things are different now, okay? I've taken the steps needed to find even footing again. I've put myself first, even if it felt wrong the entire time I was doing it. My last therapy appointment was in February and I've been doing okay. That doesn't mean I'm 100% fine, of course. I am still coming to terms with the repercussions of everything that happened. Some days, I think I have a grasp on it. Some days, I am the happiest I've been in months. Some days, I have to force myself out of bed.<br />
<br />
"What do you like to do?" the therapist asked me.<br />
<br />
"About what?" I said.<br />
<br />
"Anything. What's something you love?"<br />
<br />
"Reading. Writing. Watching movies."<br />
<br />
"Writing? What do you write?"<br />
<br />
"Books."<br />
<br />
She was surprised at that. "You've written books?"<br />
<br />
I shrugged, because I always get weirdly shy when people find out that I'm an author."<br />
<br />
"When was the last time you wrote?"<br />
<br />
"November 2013."<br />
<br />
So she told me that I should start again.<br />
<br />
And so I did.<br />
<br />
I wrote.<br />
<br />
And wrote.<br />
<br />
And motherfucking <i>wrote.</i><br />
<br />
In September, I started writing <i>The Lightning-Struck Heart</i>.<br />
<br />
I finished it in November. You get it in July.<br />
<br />
I finished <i>Withered & Sere</i> and <i>Crisped & Sere</i>. You get them in 2016.<br />
<br />
In February, I started <i>How To Be A Normal Person</i>.<br />
<br />
I finished it in April. You get that one in October.<br />
<br />
Five weeks ago, I started the sequel to <i>Tell Me It's Real</i>, tentatively titled <i>The Queen and the Homo Jock King. </i>I will be finished with it by June. You will see that one this winter.<br />
<br />
Then it's BOATK4. Then it's Burn II. Then it's the sequel to <i>Lightning. </i>The third and fourth book after Withered and Crisped. Then TMIR3.<br />
<br />
Do you see where I'm going with this?<br />
<br />
Writing, man. It's saved me. It's done more for me than anything else could have.<br />
<br />
Things are different now. <br />
<br />
And they always will be.<br />
<br />
But I am a goddamn motherfucking <i>writer</i>, and I am going to tell <i>my</i> story, and <i>other</i> stories, and I am going to do it for as long as my fingers can press the keys.<br />
<br />
Life isn't what I thought it would be.<br />
<br />
But, at least right now, I can tell myself that it'll be okay.<br />
<br />
Because there <i>is</i> beauty in the breakdown. And that beauty comes from the pieces that are left. They may not fit together like they did before, and the shape might not be the same. But it's still recognizable and that's what matters now.<br />
<br />
I know who I am. I know what I'm going to do.<br />
<br />
I have plans. <br />
<br />
And I can't <i>wait</i> to show them to you.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Tj<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-8677554642343721902014-07-29T15:17:00.003-07:002014-07-29T15:17:28.096-07:00Beauty In The Breakdown<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i> It's all right</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i> </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>'cause there's beauty in the breakdown</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>--Frou Frou </i> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It started with a pressure behind my
eyes a couple of months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should
have recognized it for what it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe part of me did and I just chose to ignore it. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fake it until you make it</i>, I think the saying goes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was probably inevitable, really. I am
just surprised it didn’t happen sooner.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When I was nine, I was diagnosed with a
form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I was eleven, I was diagnosed with a form of Panic Disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am…disordered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The meds helped, once we figured out the right dosage and
combinations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was one of the lucky
ones, though, in that as I got older, the symptoms got less and less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also helped that I learned how to breathe,
those little techniques that make up the art of breathing. I don’t take pills
anymore. I haven’t in years. Every now and then, I could feel the pressure
build slightly behind my eyes and my little quirks would come out when
particularly stressed (counting syllables in the words I spoke by tapping a
finger against my leg and trying to make sure the sentence I said ended on
either my pinkie or my thumb—it doesn’t make sense, I know, but then tics like
these never do), but I was able to hold it back and breathe and breathe and
breathe until it went away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But sometimes it’s not enough. And
sometimes, it can come out of nowhere and it’s like getting hit by a
train.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That rarely happens. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So, when I was hanging a painting in our
new house a few weeks ago, I think I knew the pressure was there, but with
everything else that has been going on, I didn’t have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">time</i> for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that was a
mistake because I got hit by the train.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One moment I was hanging the painting
(thinking about where it’d hung in our previous house), and the next I was on
the floor, unable to breathe, the painting broken on the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you’ve had a panic attack before,
it’s difficult to understand what they’re like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Breathing is an involuntary action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Your body does it for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
when you’re in the middle of an attack, your body is used against you. Your
mind is just as constricted as your lungs and throat, and it’s damn near
impossible to get but the smallest amounts of air in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not rational.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i>
rational. But it’s like drowning and until the water recedes, there’s not much
that you can do but ride it out and hope for the best.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When the water <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did</i> recede, I was sweating and crying and my body hurt, but I was
finally able to admit something that I should have figure out quite a while
ago: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am not okay</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That’s hard to find that out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s damning to say out loud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s difficult to believe. I am supposed to
be the strong one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am supposed to be
in charge. I am supposed to know what to do, to take care of me and mine. I am
supposed to be okay. I am not supposed to break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s the problem, now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">breaking</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think I have been for a while. I
don’t sleep much anymore. I don’t eat. I look like shit. I’ve had purple lines
under my eyes since that first night Eric went into the hospital and I didn’t
sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have energy for much of
anything anymore. I’m listless and apathetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I snap at people at the drop of a hat. I go to work. I come home from
work. I pretend to unpack. I go to bed at eight. I fall asleep around one or
two. I get up. I go to work. I come home from work and on and on it goes. That
pressure building. The pieces cracking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it pisses me off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything pisses me off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">We</i> had plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were supposed to live happily ever
after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were supposed to ride off into
the sunset and be happy in our little corner of the world and nothing would
ever bother us ever again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How fair is
it that we only got <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">six weeks</i> in our
new house in a new state<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>before Eric
was admitted to the hospital for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">three
months</i>? How is it fair that he is now paralyzed from the neck down and most
likely will be for the rest of his life? How fair is that we should be planning
our wedding right now instead of worrying about what future we could possibly
ever hope to have?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How is any of this
fair?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s not, and I am not okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I just got back from Indiana
yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the hardest trip I’ve
ever had to make, because of the hardest things I had to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to tell Eric I am not okay. That I am cracking.
That we couldn’t get married in November because I’m not in the right place
mentally because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am not okay</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He understood, of course. He always
does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It still crushed us both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew it would and I was dreading every
moment of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Eric needs a positive environment to
promote healing and well-being. I cannot be the positivity he needs right now.
I’m in a very toxic place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t and
won’t allow that to spread to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plans
have to be on hold because I have to be selfish right now, no matter how much I
hate it and no matter how much it kills me. But you can’t ever hope to take
care of others if you can’t take of yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And it’s because I grieved for him when
all of this occurred. I grieved for him like he had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">died</i>, and I don’t know that I’ve ever reconciled the fact that he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">didn’t</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">haunted</i> by it and the pieces
that broke off of me that won’t go back to the shape they once were. I can’t
get them to stick at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I have been faking it, but I haven’t
made it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will, but that won’t be
today. Or tomorrow. Or even the next day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am not okay, and that is the first sign that something needs to
change. That I need to do something different before it gets any worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The panic attacks come quicker now. My quirks
and tics are more pronounced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to
fix this before I can’t anymore and I need to do it now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You won’t be hearing from me for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe a long while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought about shutting down all my social
media pages, but that’s not fair to my fans and readers who interact with each
other on my FB or on GR or my blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
Klunatics can continue on for me while I go off to find what it will take to
make me better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">will</i> be back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of that, I
have no doubt. But I have to be selfish right now and make things about me,
even though I hate it. I have hundreds of FB messages I haven’t responded to.
Hundreds of emails. I’m sorry about that. I hope to read them all someday soon,
so I hope you’ll forgive me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I’m sorry this is so heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance
you’ve been with us on this journey for a while now. I wanted to make sure you
knew that I appreciate you very much. Without all of you, I wouldn’t be here
today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just have to find
it again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am not okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But I will be, because I am greater than the little parts of me that break.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> I'll see you on the other side, and remember to love each other no matter what.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Love, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tj</span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com79tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-71572280666006239372014-06-07T06:03:00.001-07:002014-06-07T06:07:47.544-07:00Pre-Release Thoughts on BOATK3: Or, What To Expect When You're Expecting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTis4p0uoOnn3b41XFlCxojOmZC6D6FF4nbzjPT3jBm1vbYbrCHUXBTehWwFZ7b-j9erKFIKraN5STDLm8MxcAn-bjTgEn3tCQp9g4LmX3j3roBAgStrkvoVMHVhxTk0EsbI4QR8iXA27o/s1600/The+Art+Of+Breathing+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTis4p0uoOnn3b41XFlCxojOmZC6D6FF4nbzjPT3jBm1vbYbrCHUXBTehWwFZ7b-j9erKFIKraN5STDLm8MxcAn-bjTgEn3tCQp9g4LmX3j3roBAgStrkvoVMHVhxTk0EsbI4QR8iXA27o/s1600/The+Art+Of+Breathing+Cover.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
been a while, hasn’t it? Since I’ve been able to say we’re only a few days
ahead of the release of a new BOATK book. Far longer than I actually planned it
to be, but life gets in the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
probably know that now, how life got in our way, so there’s no sense in
rehashing it. We’re looking forward, Eric and I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Still, it’s been a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Who We Are ended, I knew I was going to
set the boys aside for a while so I could focus on other things. It may
surprise you that I knew the story for the third book, even when I was
finishing the second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, maybe not
the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whole</i> story, but I knew the bones
of it. I knew how it would start. I knew where it would go. And I knew how it
ended. It was all the filling in that I wasn’t sure of. But, like with the other
two books, there’s never a lot of meticulous planning when it comes to the
BOATK books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With them, I write and see
what happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t write any other books like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book I’m working on now I have pages upon
pages upon <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pages</i> of notes for, given
that it’s the biggest project I’ve taken on to date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s dark and fast and twisted and crazy and
I fucking love it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we’ll talk about
that book(s) another day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It might also surprise you to know
that you’ve actually already read part of BOATK3. At least, a small part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shorts I released, Just Breathe and Word
of the Day, are part of the third book in the Bear, Otter, and the Kid
series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote them as a way to say
thanks to my readers. But I also wrote them to continue to tether myself to the
BOATK world. And when the time finally came to start writing the book, I knew
that those shorts were a part of the much longer story.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And so I put my fingers to the keys
and wrote.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And wrote.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And wrote.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And wrote what turned out to be the
longest, funniest, saddest, angstiest book in the series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, that is just my opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll have to form your own.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Art Of Breathing is divided into
three parts. The first of which shows Tyson from a young age, growing up until
he graduates High School at the age of sixteen and has to make a decision about
his future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part two is him coming home
for the first time four years later. Many of you have repeated that part of the
blurb back to me with something akin to horror (…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he returns to the coast with four years of failure, addiction, and a
diagnosis of panic disorder trailing behind him… ADDICTION? FAILURE? PANIC
DISORDER?!?!? TJ KLUNE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??????????? </i>Does that sound about
right?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me when I say it makes
sense for Ty, even though it’s hard to see him go through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And panic disorder is almost a forgone
conclusion, given his propensity for the bathtub.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just the earthquakes, given a proper
name. The third part is…well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The third
part is where Tyson learns the art of breathing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Some warnings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a slow burn romance, probably the
slowest that I’ve written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think
it’s also the most well-earned. The reason for this is two-fold: first, Ty and
Dominic can’t be Ty and Dominic until Ty figures out who he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s just not possible. For all that he’s
been through, and for the reasons he’s stayed away from Seafare, I didn’t think
it made sense for any kind of immediate relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not how these characters work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Secondly (and probably the one I cackle
the most gleeful over), is that I wanted the tension to build. And build. And
build until you’d be screaming if (when) something finally <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> happen between them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More and more with my own reading, I find myself relishing the build-up,
the dance, the anticipation. There’s always a bit of a let-down when that part
is over, because there’s something magical about two people skirting around
each other’s edges.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The sex in this book is minimal,
probably about the amount of BOATK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t write erotica. It’s not my cup of tea. Honestly, if I thought I could
have gotten away with it, I would have written out all of the sex scenes in
Into This River I Drown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is
absolutely nothing wrong with erotica, or explicit sex scenes. Many writers out
there are wonderful at it, who juggle sex and plot very well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sex scenes bore me, however, for the most
part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know how sex works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve read it before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But unless you have an emotional connection
to what you’re reading about, then what’s the point? It’s that build up. That
dance. That anticipation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you do too. But still,
there’s a bone-sesh. Or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know.
For reasons.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ty will make you want to pull your hair
out. I guarantee that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the first two
books, he was precocious, manipulative, endearing, fierce, and way beyond his
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But underneath all that, he was
still a child, and that fragility showed through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, he’s almost twenty years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s precocious. And manipulative. And
endearing and fierce and way beyond his years. But he’s also a teenager, so
that means he’s fragile. He flip flops. He meanders. He’s hesitant and unsure,
brash and sarcastic. He grew up, but he’s still the Kid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Art of Breathing was always meant to
be a sort of reverse Bear, Otter and the Kid. Instead of having someone come
home to you, it was going to be coming home <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to</i>
that someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are obvious
parallels between Bear and Tyson’s stories, and I loved playing off those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People who know the first two books well will
find little easter eggs sprinkled throughout.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is not going to be an easy book
to read, however. It was not an easy book to write. There is humor here, and
lighter moments, but this book is about the heartache of growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The heartbreak of growing apart. The need to
find your way home again, and be able to stand there on your own two feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed to make sure Tyson could stand
before I let him go again. Because that’s how it feels every time I finish a
story about this funny little family: like letting go. It hurts. I hate it.
They’re on my mind constantly. It’s not going to be easy when we eventually
have to say good bye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But like all
things, it’s inevitable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their word of
the day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By the time you read this, the book will be nine days away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you’re excited. I hope you’re ready to
see them all again. Creed and Anna. Their son JJ. Their parents. Mrs. Paquinn,
in her own way. Dominic. Some new faces. Some old friends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And Bear, Otter, and the Kid, of
course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those that have come with me
this far, I hope it feels like coming home for you as much as it always does
for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There is love here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And life. And laughter. (And even a road
trip!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is going to also be
pain and sadness. Anger and fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
death, because that’s also inevitable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because that’s how life works. That’s how we know we’re alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How we know who we are.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But there will be happiness. I
promise you that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, there will
be happiness. It’s something I have always believed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now, more than ever, it’s something that
I will always hold on to.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So. I know there’s a lot of
anticipation for this book. I’ve been very fortunate about that sort of thing
in my short writing career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not
lost on me, and I am grateful for it every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s pressure to deliver, but I thrive under pressure, and I think
I’ve done that here. This story may have taken two years. But it came when it
and I were ready, and I think you’ll see it was worth the time it took.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
nine more days, I’ll let Tyson take over, because he’s got a story to tell you
about how he learned the art of breathing. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I can’t wait for you to hear it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Tj</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">PS: Also, the title of this blog post is interesting, don't you think? Sure, it could be just talking about my expectations and yours and nothing else. Certainly not hinting at anything all. Right? </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Art Of Breathing Pre-Order: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span> </div>
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<a href="http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5054&cPath=55_461" target="_blank">http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5054&cPath=55_461</a></div>
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-13884919403137283352014-04-05T05:14:00.002-07:002014-04-05T05:22:49.232-07:00The First Look At BOATK3, The Art Of BreathingWow. It sure has been a long time since I've written on my own blog. Too long in fact. I may have to make this a more regular thing. Time has gotten away from me, as I'm sure you understand.<br />
<br />
As a way of saying thank you for the release of the anthology <i>Grand Adventures</i>, I wanted to give you the first look at BOATK3, The Art Of Breathing. This excerpt is not spoilery (and damn if it didn't take me a while to find one that <i>wasn't </i>spoilery), so don't worry about the story being ruined for you.<br />
<br />
Here, the Kid has come back to the Green Monstrosity for the first time in four years. Why he's stayed away from Seafare that long and what happened to him while he was away is something you'll have to wait to find out. But you will soon, I promise. I think we have the release date nailed down in June. Can't say what date just yet, but it's soon.<br />
<br />
In this excerpt, you'll also be introduced to a new character, Corey. Corey is...well. Corey is one of my favorite parts of this new book because of what he represents to Tyson. Yes, that is frustratingly vague I know, but trust me when I say he's going to rock all kinds of hardcore.<br />
<br />
You also may notice this scene harkens back to a similar one from <i>Who We Are</i> that was directly before a certain awkward dinner scene. This is intentional as I've written a pseudo-sequel to the Most Awkward Dinner Ever. At first, Ty's story parallels his brother's before it branches off into something else entirely. This book will be funny, but it's also going to be heartbreaking. Let me put it this way: my editor is one tough nut to crack, but she told me she cried more in this book than she did in BOATK and <i>Who We Are</i> combined. So...you know. Heh. Heh. Heh.<br />
<br />
Anyway. Enough chitchat. To all of you that have helped Eric and I on our Grand Adventure, I say thank you. This little look into the future of Bear, Otter and the Kid is for you.<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> “My God,” Corey breathes as we pull up to
the Green Monstrosity. “Photos do not do this house justice. This… this is beyond
epic.”</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is. It always has been. The Green Monstrosity
is way past epic. A two-story piece of offensive architecture that rises out of
the suburbs like a big <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuck</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you </i>to the rest of the neighborhood. It’s
weird, really, the feeling that hits me when I see it again for the first time in
close to four years It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> epic yes, the
green so grotesque it should be illegal, but it’s still just a house like any other.
It has walls and a roof and a yard.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So why then, when we pull up next to it,
the driveway already packed full of cars I don’t recognize, does a lump form in
my throat? Why is it that I can feel heat prick my eyes? It’s just a house. That’s
all it is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But that’s a lie. It’s more than that. The
Green Monstrosity was the first time since I could remember that I knew that maybe,
just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">maybe</i>, things would be okay for Bear
and me. We said good-bye to the hole-in-wall apartments with the gross carpet and
the peeling walls. We said good-bye to a life where we existed merely by floating
along. We said good-bye to the life where I wasn’t sure we’d make it, though I tried
to put on a brave face, at least as much as an nine-year-old ecoterrorist in training
could do. I was just a little guy, but I would have torn the world apart with my
bare hands for my brother if called upon to do it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s just a house, yes, but it’s also more
than that. It’s a sign that things could get better.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Please tell me you’re never going to paint
over that,” Corey says. “Seriously. It’s like the Jolly Green <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_1;">Giant</a></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_1" id="_anchor_1" name="_msoanchor_1"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">
masturbated all over your house.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And there’s an image that will never leave
my head,” Bear says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Would his semen be green?” Otter wonders
out loud. “That seems like it could be true. And very gross.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’d probably taste like peas and carrots
too,” Corey says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“At least it’d be good for you,” I say.
“Maybe that’s what the mashed peas baby food is.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That is foul and offensive,” Corey says.
“Most likely correct as well.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Thank God this is already starting,” Bear
says. “We’ve been home for a minute and we’re already discussing the Jolly Green
Giant jacking off for baby food. For once in our lives, could we please have a normal
conversation before we enter a social gathering?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Bear’s just upset because now that’s all
he’s going to think about,” Otter explains to Corey. “It’ll probably make him feel
a little hot under the collar.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Gross!” I groan. “I do not want to think
about Bear getting turned on because of the Jolly Green Giant. Or for anything.
You guys keep your weird role playing to yourselves.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“We don’t <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: EDO_2;">role-play</a></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_2" id="_anchor_2" name="_msoanchor_2"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> Jolly Green Giant!” Bear says, sounding
insulted. “Canned-food mascot sex is not one of my kinks.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You have kinks?” Corey asked, ears perking
up. “Dish. Now.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Never in your dreams,” Bear assures him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You can tell me,” Corey says. “I’d listen.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’s my brother,” I say as I smack him.
“And my Otter, who is my sort of dad-brother. That is not okay.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“We could get, like, a green body suit,”
Otter tells Bear. “And tape green leaves and asparagus to you or something. That’d
be kinda hot.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“This is why I have to go to therapy,” I
say to Corey. “Because of stuff like this. It happens all the time.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You want to tape asparagus to me?” Bear
asks. “I could probably get into that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s good to know that even old people can
get funky,” Corey tells me. “Gives me hope when I’m their age in like forty years.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That was probably not the best thing you
could have said,” I say as Bear starts to sputter indignantly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Old</i>?
I will punch your kidney <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_3;">right out of your </a></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">body,
you little—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He won’t really,” I say. “He just likes
to sound tough. He couldn’t hurt a fly.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Isn’t it normally <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wouldn’t</i> hurt a fly?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Normally. But this is Bear. He couldn’t
even do that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Once again,” Otter says, “I don’t quite
know how we got to this point.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That seems to be a common occurrence with
you guys,” Corey says. “I can’t wait until we go to dinner. I’ve heard Bear gets
loaded on wine and cries, and then the whole thing dissolves into a big case of
what-the-<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_4;">fuckery</a></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_4" id="_anchor_4" name="_msoanchor_4"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">
where everyone talks at once, and it usually ends in overshared feelings and hugging.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> time!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What about the Kid’s high school graduation
dinner?” Otter asks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And when you got that teaching contract?”
I ask.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And when the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">New <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_5;">Yorker</a></i></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_5" id="_anchor_5" name="_msoanchor_5"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">bought that photo of that homeless encampment I took?” Otter says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And when I made the dean’s <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_6;">list</a></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_6" id="_anchor_6" name="_msoanchor_6"></a></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> my first year?” I say. My first and only time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I might have a drinking problem,” Bear mutters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And an emotional-style vomiting problem,”
Otter says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And a verbal diarrhea problem,” I say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It was the Green Monstrosity,” Corey says,
trying to reign us all in. “That’s how we got here.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear shrugs. “We talked about repainting
it, especially when the paint started to peel on the siding. Couldn’t bring myself
to do it. Didn’t feel right.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It took the Home <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_7;">Depot</a></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_7" id="_anchor_7" name="_msoanchor_7"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">
paint guy at least three weeks to match it,” Otter says. “I’m pretty sure he had
to go through the Russian black market to find the components to get the color right.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> hard. He just wanted you to keep coming
in so he could flirt with you.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You were just projecting your insecurities
on him, dear. He wasn’t flirting with me.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i>?
Was I? So I suppose it totally matters to paint color when he asked you how much
you worked out and that he thought you were just so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">vascular</i>. He laughed like Julia Roberts in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pretty <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" style="mso-comment-date: 20140223T1501; mso-comment-reference: A_8;">Woman</a></i></span><span class="MsoCommentReference"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><a class="msocomanchor" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2854697790604704675#_msocom_8" id="_anchor_8" name="_msoanchor_8"></a><span style="mso-special-character: comment;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">
at every single thing you said!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m funny,” Otter says. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And</i> vascular.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’re not that funny. And when your veins
stick out, it’s gross.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’s not what you said last night.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear grins and rolls his eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Last night?” I say in horror. “In the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hotel</i>? We were sharing the same room!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear shrugs. “That’s why the bathrooms have
locks.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Home Depot guy definitely wanted your penis,”
Corey says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Here we are,” I mutter. “Back to the penises.
I’m never going to get out of therapy. I’ll be in my nineties and still haunted
by the memories of Bear and Otter as sexual beings.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Way sexual,” Bear says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Super sexual,” Otter agrees. “Asparagus
and all.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I hate you all.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Teenage angst is hysterical,” Bear says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Such a little drama queen,” Otter says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“They’re funny,” Corey tells me. “You’re
very lucky.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Go fuck yourself, sunshine,” I reply.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 6.0pt; text-align: justify; text-indent: 27.35pt;">
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-21425815821346232042013-05-11T08:27:00.002-07:002013-05-11T08:28:11.856-07:00Pre-Release Thoughts on John & Jackie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Once upon a time, I wrote the following words:<br />
<br />
<i>…It may not yet be legal/but it’s better than eating a beagle/so won’t you please marry me?</i><br />
<br />
The end.<br />
<br />
I
was thrilled. I was elated. I’d done it! I’d finished my first novel.
Jesus Christ, I thought. I am badass. I AM A MOTHERFUCKING ROCKSTAR! I
AM KING OF MY DOMAIN!!! I… need to start working on my <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/4174215-pre-release-thoughts-on-john-and-jackie#" id="_GPLITA_1" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by Text-Enhance">next</a> book.<br />
<br />
I’ve
said before, and I’ll say again: I am one of those writers who can only
work on one thing at a time. I’m also a very slow writer. That’s why
you don’t see me have sixteen books out per month like other authors in
this genre. There’s nothing wrong with them, obviously; it’s just not
for me.<br />
<br />
So I’d finished BOATK. What next? Burn wasn’t quite
ready in my head, so I thought to work on another idea that’d been
gestating for a bit. It was ambitious, to say the least. It was going
to be a decades-spanning love story. It was going to be HUGE, probably
at least two or three books. I was going to show how love started when
the two men were just boys, and how it grew through all the trials and
tribulations, the heartaches, the good and the bad times, all the way up
until they were very old men, spending their last days together. So I
started writing. It was stupendous! It was amazing! It was…<br />
<br />
Awful.<br />
<br />
Oh God, was it awful.<br />
<br />
Seriously. It was so saccharine and sweet, you’d have thought a unicorn had barfed rainbows on a pile of <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/4174215-pre-release-thoughts-on-john-and-jackie#" id="_GPLITA_0" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by Text-Enhance">puppies</a>
who then rolled around in sugar covered flowers while having adorable
hiccups and barking in that high pitched way puppies do. <br />
<br />
It was, in a word, ridiculous.<br />
<br />
So, after having written 30K words on it, I pushed it aside.<br />
<br />
But
these two men, John and Jackie, were never far from my thoughts. I
tried again after I finished Burn. And again after Who We Are. And a
few more times during writing both of those. But each time I tried to
start over, or tried to salvage what I’d already written, it just didn’t
compute. For some reason, John and Jackie weren’t telling me the story
like I wanted them too. Sometimes, as authors, that happens. It
sucks, but it is reality.<br />
<br />
Then I wrote a novel on exploring grief
and faith. In Into This River I Drown, I was able to explore a newer
side of my writing, and, if I may be a bit snooty, it’s a more
“artistic” style of writing, rather than a straight forward narrative.
Some parts work. Some parts don’t. But through that book, I learned a
lot. And I thought I’d finally found the key to writing about John and
Jackie.<br />
<br />
River was my longest book. John and Jackie would need to
be my shortest. I’d make it a novella, using sparse language, and
instead of telling their whole life’s story, I would pick five key
scenes from their lives. Five scenes that made them who they as they
approached their later years. <br />
<br />
Then a new problem arose: John
and Jackie also deals with the idea of grief, though not as saturated as
River. I was sick of grief and sadness after spending so much time
with Benji, Cal, and Big Eddie. I wanted something lighter.<br />
<br />
I wrote Tell Me It’s Real instead.<br />
<br />
And when I said good-bye to Paul and Vince, I knew I’d come to the right time.<br />
<br />
I
planned the story to be 15K words. It grew to 30K words. I was
tempted to make it longer, but knew I’d eventually fall into the same
traps as I’d had many times before while trying to write it. By the
time I finished, I felt exalted. Shaken. Tired and heartsore, but in
such a good, good way.<br />
<br />
I gave it to my beta reader who suggested I
submit it to Eric Arvin, who was trying to put a self published
anthology together. I was nervous, sure, as I’d never had anything self
published before. But then Eric showed me that he’d amassed some big
names like Abi Roux, SJD Peterson, and some newer writers, like Jason
Huffman-Black and SA McAuley. It wasn’t going to be the traditional
anthology, filled with hearts and rainbows and sunshine. Each writer
was tasked with stepping outside their comfort zone and writing
something different. The anthology called Crack The Darkest Sky Wide
Open, will be released next Friday on all formats and available through
the usual third party sites such as Amazon and ARe. <br />
<br />
I can’t
speak for the other works as to their ideas of romance, or if there is
even romance in their stories. I can say, without a doubt, that my
story, John and Jackie, is the most romantic thing I’ve written. It's
also written a bit differently than my other books, as it's meant to
read as if slightly dream-like, where the edges are slightly fuzzy and
certain moments come into sharper focus. And, much to my chagrin, the
shortest thing I’d ever written has turned out to be the longest thing
in the anthology. Ah, well. Maybe next time.<br />
<br />
On May 17th, we’ll
ask you to take our hands as we show you what happens when some of your
favorite authors crack the darkest sky wide open. I can’t wait for you
to read John and Jackie, and I promise you, that even in the dark,
there will be light.<br />
<br />
Tj<br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
<br />
The anthology is
available for pre-order at a cheaper price of $4.99 through our website.
If you purchase now, you'll get a reminder to download it to your
e-reader of choice on the release date. It should be pretty simple.
It'll be available on all the usual third party sites on May 17th.<br />
<br />
Pre-order link: <a href="http://crackthedarkestskywideopen.tumblr.com/presales" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://crackthedarkestskywideopen.tum...</a>TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-7829824720893018002013-04-13T09:38:00.002-07:002013-04-13T09:38:24.306-07:00After Thoughts On Into This River I Drown<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Warning And Threats</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
To proceed, know
that I will be discussing key plot points for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Into This River I Drown</i> and (surprise!) another of my novels, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn. </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There is also a brand new short story at the end of this post.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you haven’t read River and are planning to, you shouldn’t read this
as it will be filled with a lot of spoilers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you haven’t read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>,
that’s okay, but some of this might not make sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Still
here?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Okay,
so how much do you hate me right now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
messages and emails I have received from readers have been very sweet, often
telling their own story of how they lost a loved one in their lives at one
point or another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But at some point in
said email or message, is a variation of the following sentence: “I cursed you
out SO much in this story, especially at (fill in the blank)!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was awesome, was everyone seems to have
a different “fill in the blank” part.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ll
be discussing a few of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hows</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">whys</i> of certain things that happened in
River.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, at the end, I have a story
for you to read, for those that want to go just a bit further down the rabbit
hole.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ready?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Calliel Didn’t Exist</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>When I first
started writing River, Calliel was to be a guy called Jake and he was a drifter
who blew into town, and at some point, would be revealed to have been part of
the drug operation that was running through the small town of Rosedale, which
was revealed toward the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was
nothing supernatural about Jake, who was just a regular dude.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
then it hit me one day, weirdly, right after I’d gotten done writing the first
chapter, that I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wanted</i> it to be
paranormal, given that I was sure that Benji was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">actually</i> haunted by ghosts, not just memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What if he was an angel?</i> my weird little
inner voice asked me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Uh… what?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Think about it: he’s like this big,
badass, fallen angel dude who crashes into the woods in Roseland!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Uh… I don’t know a single thing
about angels.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oooo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And you hate research of any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So he’ll just be some boring drifter
guy named Jake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neat. Yawn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m already bored for you and no one will
like this story and you’re stupid.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I </i>like<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> the boring drifter guy named Jake!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>*silence*</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Goddammit!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fine!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll make him a fucking
angel!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>And so I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, I hate research of any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate it with a passion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also didn’t help that I am not a spiritual
person in any way shape or form.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
go to church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have a specific
faith I subscribe too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a very
rudimentary understanding of God and angels, mostly what I’d heard from other
people.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But
I knew if I was going to do it, I’d have to do it right.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
angel Calliel is “real”, at least as far as angel lore goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s lowly placed on the totem pole, and as
soon as I came across him and his name, I knew I’d found the angel I was
looking for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hierarchy for angels is
a fascinating thing, with literally hundreds if not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thousands</i> of named angels that are supposed to serve God in one way
shape or form.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And each one was
supposedly created to serve a different purpose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So
I had my angel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jake became Calliel, or
Cal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went back and made some changes,
then soldiered on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found quickly that
going the angel direction opened up some awesome new ideas, but it also created
some big problems, of which I won’t bore you with here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffice to say, I may not have been a religious
person, but an early draft of River sounded way to fucking preachy, like I was
giving a sermon and didn’t know what I was talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me when I say it was pretty bad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It Goes On…And On…And On…</b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
You think River
was long?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should have seen the
completed first draft. When I started writing River, I knew it was going to be
a long-ish story,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>maybe around the
length of BOATK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, imagine my surprise
when I finished River and it was almost <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two
hundred and fifty thousand words long</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a bit ridiculous, really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My plan initially was to split it into two books, but then my betas got
ahold of it and both said it worked better as a single book, so I cut, cut,
cut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The version you read of River is
189,000 words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s a lot of shit cut
to the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of it that was cut <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">needed</i> to be cut, because it really was
extraneous, no matter how much I kicked and screamed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of things that were cut, however,
hurt like a motherfucker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
You know the ending
of River, how the final chapter is called The Sunrise?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Benji and Cal sit on the roof, watching the sunrise
and all is well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, there were two <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">additional</i> chapters after that, the
first of which I thought wrapped up the story in a very cyclical way, mirroring
back toward the beginning chapter called “You and I”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the other chapter? The very last one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, the last chapter was about some old
friends of mine, ones I hadn’t written about in a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends that came out of nowhere and inserted
themselves into River.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But more on them
in a moment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Twists and Death</b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>While
I tried to inject some humor into River, I knew even before I started that it
was going to be a dark book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s bleak
through most of it, the weight of Benji’s grief a palpable thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There can be a point when that begins to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">too</i> much, so I tried for some levity
every now and then, a little bit of light in all that dark.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It
was still dark, regardless of the humor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know this, and I don’t know that it could have been told any other
way. There are a few points, though, I knew were going to be hard for most
everyone to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Abe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah, Abe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That sucked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like really, really
sucked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Originally, Nina was going to be
the one to die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was in a version of
the story where the storm at the end destroyed the whole town, killing off a
lot of the residents of Roseland.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I came
to realize that not only was it overkill, but also Nina had become more
important to not just this story, but to another story as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So
I had to choose someone who was close to Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I needed Benji to
reach the lowest of the lows before he could face Michael in the White
Room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think he could have had
the same understanding about the idea of sacrifice had he not lost someone near
to him after Big Eddie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I considered,
very briefly, having it be Lola, his mother, but again, that seemed like
overkill, given that he’d already lost his dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So it was Abe, no matter how much I didn’t want it to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went back and added a bit more about his
wife that had passed, Estelle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then
I wrote his sacrificial scene (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“THY WILL
BE DONE”</i>).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it sucked having to
have that happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Horribly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think it illustrated just how far Benji had come and just how evil
Griggs was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there has ever been a
character I’ve written to be hated, it is Griggs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
Christie?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you see that coming?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hope it was a gut punch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew
from the very beginning that she was going to be the “boss.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time I had to write her character, I
was scowling at my laptop monitor, thinking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I
HATE YOU!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I also knew I had to
keep it as secret as possible, so I needed to pass her off as the sweet and
caring aunt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And honestly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do believe she loved her sisters and Benji
in her own way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were family, after
all. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think, however, that she was
drowning in her own river, and that came before anyone and anything else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
be honest: how many of you cursed my name when Cal was shot on the bridge?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i>
think I’d kill him off?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>C’mon now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That wouldn’t be very nice of me, now would
it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Why,
that would be just downright mean.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Hardest Things I’ve Had To Write</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
Two chapters in
River are the hardest things I’ve ever had to write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first was the chapter titled “These
Flickering Lights.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ll remember,
that was the scene where Benji has to walk down the long hallway to go identify
his father’s corpse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was tough
because you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i> that Big Eddie has
died, that Benji will see his body, but some part of you still hopes that he
won’t have to, that it was really a lie, a dream, a horrible nightmare and that
Big Eddie will be there and everything will be okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ached</i>
for Benji when writing that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That long
walk down the hallway, hearing Big Eddie’s song sung in his head, those
memories rising like ghosts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then to
have him pull back that scratchy sheet covering the body, only to see the
greatest man in his world lying beaten and broken?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s where it became real for Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s when his river started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For want of his father, he was lost.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
The other
chapter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You probably figured it
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the one called “The River
Crossing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew from the very
beginning that Benji would get to see Big Eddie one last time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He needed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And more so, I needed it, as Benji’s caretaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dreaded it as it approached, and when it
did, it took me a full week to write it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve never written anything more difficult than that final meeting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I think that chapter is the best writing
I’ve ever done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you read the
dedication to the book, then you probably know I didn’t write it just for
Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote it for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said the things I was never able to say in
real life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that, to me, was
Michael’s gift.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Biggest Secret Of All</b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>Oh, my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i> readers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How I adore you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How I love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You patient, patient people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How I like to mess with you so, so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Admit it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You didn’t see that coming, did you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yeah, neither did I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine my
surprise when Michael showed up for the first time and started talking about
Elementals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember writing that, then
sitting back and going, “Uh, what the fuck?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seriously?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Seriously?!?!?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As if I
didn’t have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">enough</i> shit to worry
about here!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FUCK!!!!!!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But
then I thought about it a little bit more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
then I got this evil little smile on my face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
references to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i> and the Elementals
add up to no more than 500 words out of 189,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Originally (as you’ll soon see), there were
more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a matter of fact, the original
entire last chapter of River was dedicated to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, it came down
to the way to actually end River on a good note, and I didn’t want to weigh
down the readers for those who hadn’t read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>
yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to tell you, though, that it
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">killed</i> me to keep this connection a
secret.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Given
this all, I had to pick and choose what of those 500 words that I wanted to
keep in River.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me be clear about a
few of things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
One: the paragraph
towards the end of the book where Raphael talks about the Split One entering
the field is the most important for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>
readers to know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at his last sentence
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
Two: the Tree is
Metatron, the lost angel, in case you didn’t that from Raphael’s words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Metatron, the Tree (It) is corrupt as all
fuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And does he have some scary-ass
plans for not just Felix’s world, but all of them.</div>
<div class="Default" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
Three: this exchange
in the chapter “The White Room” (do you remember the White Room from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>?): </div>
<div class="Default" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That image, that burnt image of a child, was meant for a man named
Seven who might be the key to not only saving his world, but the ones on every
level above and below him.” </i></div>
<div class="Default" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who is the child?” </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Michael closes his eyes. “One who has the
power for great destruction growing within him. It remains to be seen what side
he will choose. In the end, though, the boy will burn.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Some
interesting things coming, I think.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Will
there be a sequel to River? No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
directly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think Benji and Cal’s story
has been told to the full extent it needs to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will smile quietly at my time spent in Roseland, but I don’t see
myself going back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">
Will you see some
of these characters again? Possibly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Probably.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t say which, but
one or more of them might pop up somewhere else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a different place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where the earth moves, and the water
flows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where the winds howl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Where
the fires burn.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
with that, I proudly present the original final two chapters of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Into This River I Drown</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Love,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tj </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNS4ANBVD26Pi0-zQngy7LFqmrF1hkBH8CnZa6lEY7LlcEwI8oswtXiR_sLZOMXddzDb8bJi7o5oLW1uUaS2DHjigrr10tawYEkE6PWkmgnr1YWvgpzEVyZlMhE5SQHF2BgbCUbxlrOz4d/s1600/Burn+Photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNS4ANBVD26Pi0-zQngy7LFqmrF1hkBH8CnZa6lEY7LlcEwI8oswtXiR_sLZOMXddzDb8bJi7o5oLW1uUaS2DHjigrr10tawYEkE6PWkmgnr1YWvgpzEVyZlMhE5SQHF2BgbCUbxlrOz4d/s400/Burn+Photo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">YOU
AND I</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To meet my father, you’d have to go
for a bit of a drive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let us say that’s what you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let us say that one fine fall day, you find
yourself out for a drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you’re
lost and somehow ended up taking exit 235A.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You don’t really know how you got there, but you did and you decide to
follow it, just to see where it goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You continue down this old highway
until you see another sign, this one letting you know that you are entering <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Roseland, Oregon Pop. 876. Established 1851.
Elevation 2345 ft</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gateway to the Cascades!</i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Roseland?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This place sounds familiar to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think back and… was it on the news?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was that where you heard it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something had happened here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You shake your head, unable to remember what
it was exactly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn’t matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone in town should be able to point out
the way back to I-10.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A small beep
sounds in your car and you look down at the dash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You need gas, a little light says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You hope there’s a gas station in Roseland.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then the town appears and you
enter onto a street called Poplar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
feels smooth underneath your tires as if it’s been recently paved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You marvel at the buildings that line either
side of the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so quaint, you
think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So quintessentially small town
America.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like a wonderful
place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>People are walking on the sidewalks,
the stores looking busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a gorgeous
fall day, leaves of orange and red blowing in a brisk wind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People smile at each other as they pass on
the streets and say hello, and you think how different the big cities are
compared to this place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back home, no
one looks each other in the eye as they pass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everyone’s to busy talking on a phone, reading newspaper, or just not
caring what is going on around them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s seems so strange to see.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Gas station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gas station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Gas station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A-ha!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A spinning sign, just up ahead on
the right.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You get closer and snort when you
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Gas and Convenience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>You wonder if
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</span>You don’t know yet that he’s not actually here, but a couple of miles
north.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you’ll meet him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You roll over a black cord stretched
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You hold your breath when a huge man
walks out from the garage, wiping the grease off of his massive hands with an
old rag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He smiles at you as he
approaches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sun hits the short red
hair on his head and the red stubble on his face and it shines like fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s a bit of grease on the tip of his
nose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is something about this man,
something you can’t quite place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
seems…ethereal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unworldly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not…from around here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is beautiful, but most of all, what you
think is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">blue</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You shake your head, trying to clear
your mind of such random thoughts as you roll down the window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Help you?” he asks in a deep voice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just need the tank filled up and
some directions back to the freeway, if you please,” you say faintly. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He grins at you again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That I can do.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He walks around the front of your
car to fill the tank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You fumble with
your credit card, tapping it against your leg, waiting for him to finish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can hear the gas flowing into your
car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That your truck?” you ask,
pointing toward the garage.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He laughs quietly as if in on some
joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It will be,” he says, “once it’s
finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mine and Benji’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’ll be so cherry that it’ll break your
heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Going to take some work, but we
have all the time in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least
for now.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You have to know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You Big Eddie?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He shakes his head, looking up at
the sign that circulates above.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A look
of such touching magnificence comes over his face and your heart almost stops
in your chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, Big Eddie was my friend.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He smiles quietly, but it’s not for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s for a memory that rises like a dream.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The gas pump dings, signaling it’s
finished.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Forty-two fifteen,” he says, coming
back to the window after he’s closed the lid to the gas tank on your car.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You hand him your credit card and he
moves to go inside, glancing further down the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He stops suddenly and the smile that follows
reminds you wildly of galaxies exploding, of worlds colliding and
crashing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s everything, that smile,
and you can’t help the tears that burn your eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You follow his gaze and see me
walking toward him, carrying a plastic bag at my side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look like I just came from that small diner
farther up the road.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People wave to me
on the street and I wave back, but my eyes are on the guy who has just filled
your tank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I reach him and you’re
pleasantly surprised when I stand on his tip-toes and plant a swift kiss on the
bigger man’s lips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You look around at
people passing on the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those that
have seen what you have, the few that there are, smile widely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one hoots and hollers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one sneers in our direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one looks angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What is
this place</i>? you think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Such an odd little town.</i> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I got you a meatloaf sandwich,” you
hear me say to the big guy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He scowls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I don’t think I’m going to like that.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I roll my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That’s what you say now, but then you’ll
love it and demand that Rosie make it for you every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she will and then it’ll be just like the
time she made you pork chops and you ate them for three weeks straight.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He moans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“They were so <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good</i>.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I laugh fondly, my hand reaching up
to touch his cheek.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m glad you came back,” he
whispers loudly, looking back at you for a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“They gave me one of these card things and I
don’t remember how to do it.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Cal, I’ve shown you like ten times!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t sound exasperated, just amused.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Only six times,” the man named Cal
says, his eyes sparkling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come on, then.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You watch as I grab Cal’s hand and pull him
behind me toward the store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You wave at
me briefly with the hand that has the food in it, holding up a finger to let you
know it’ll only be a minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You nod,
entranced by the look of love in Cal’s eyes as he watches me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know it’s something more when we go
inside the store, and you see me looking down at the credit card machine on the
counter and see Cal not paying attention in the slightest, but watching me
instead, obviously using the excuse to stand close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You start to get the impression that Cal
knows exactly what he’s doing and you smile to yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You see me point out the food in the
bag and Cal sits down while I come back out of the store to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You watch as Cal looks suspicious as he
raises the sandwich to his mouth and takes a tentative bite, only to
immediately start devouring the entire thing with a look of ecstasy on his
face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He must like it more than he
thought he would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This doesn’t surprise
you like you thought it would.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Here you go,” I say cheerfully as I
reach your car, handing you back your card and receipt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Cal said you needed help getting back to the
ten?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You nod.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I point down the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Just follow Poplar to the intersection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hang a left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’ll pass by a cemetery and after that, you’ll see the signs for the
freeway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only a few minutes away.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks,” you say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Have a good day.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I grin as I glance back at the
store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s always a good day now,” I
say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turn and walk back to the store,
where Cal is waiting for me, his smile growing wider as I approach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Somehow, you drive away.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You head down Poplar, just like you
were told.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You reach the
intersection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To the right, the road
twists into a forest and everything you think is blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Straight ahead the road disappears up a hill
and you think of home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You turn left, as
you were told to do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It hits you, two miles later, when a
sign that says <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">LOST HILL MEMORIAL</i>
comes into view.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see a figure, back
in the distance of the cemetery, rising up from the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looks radiant. You don’t know why, but it
feels important to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You must stop
and see what it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You park your car in the lot and
walk up the path slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The figure
comes into a sharper focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re
distracted, momentarily, but another plot covered in blue flowers so bright it
causes your heart to hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A small
pocketknife sits on top of the headstone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You briefly see part of the inscription on the grave marker before you
continue on to the figure that waits for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ABRAHAM DUFREE AND ESTELLE DUFREE</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You wonder who they are, but you are glad
that they are together.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And ahead, here, at last, is a stone
angel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You think she’s beautiful, from
the wings on her back, to the carved hands that stretch toward you in
supplication.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your breath catches as you
see a large blue feather placed between her fingers, held there by a bit of
twine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The feather sways in the gentle
breeze and you smell the earth, deep and rich. You tear your eyes away from it
and look down to see an inscription of fifteen words below:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">EDWARD
BENJAMIN GREEN</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“BIG
EDDIE”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">BELOVED
HUSBAND AND FATHER</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">MAY
27 1960 – MAY 31 2007</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Big
Eddie? </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">you think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">From the gas station?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One and the same.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But that’s not all there is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Below that are seven more
words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven more words that look newer
than the ones carved above them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven
more words that cause your soul to quake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
WILL ALWAYS BE MY FATHER’S SON</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You wait for only a moment longer,
there, next to the angel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She doesn’t
speak, but then she doesn’t have too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You touch the feather just once and everything is blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You wonder if words are enough to show the
measure of a man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You decide that maybe
they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">these</i> words are enough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then you remember your own
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have things to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t be late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You hurry to your car without looking
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You drive away and leave the
little town of Roseland behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
one day you’ll think about this place again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe you won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that’s okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We’ll still be here, whatever you
remember or if you ever choose to come back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My name is Benjamin Edward Green,
after my father, our first and middle names transposed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People call me Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Big Eddie wanted me to carry his name, but
felt I should have my own identity, hence the switch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t mind, knowing it will always bind us
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a gift and because of
him, I was able to find my life again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was able to find meaning in all the colors of the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of him, I was able to find my home.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
is at once the end and the beginning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">This
is the story of my love of two men.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">FROM
THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You
are not alone in this.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Let’s leave them, shall we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s leave Benji and Cal and the rest of the
Roseland inhabitants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You and I may
return here one day, just to check in to see what the people in the town are up
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to think they will live
happily ever after because that is what they deserve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They all have been through so much and I want
to think that things can only get better for them. But there are others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others that have not gotten their ending,
that have been left hanging in limbo while my mind wandered here and there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have something to show you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Do you remember what Michael said?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There
are infinite planes of existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There’s one where people can do the most beautiful things with earth and
water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With fire and wind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can control the elements like it’s </i>nothing<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
there is a darkness coming there</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">One we don’t know how to stop.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The archangel Michael was right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i>
a darkness coming.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So let us leave Roseland and fly up
through the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let us leave Oregon,
the Pacific Northwest, the United States, the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These planes exist like a large building with
each floor dedicated to something different than the one before or after it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this isn’t like a building you’ve ever
seen before, Empire State or Cantio or any other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is truth to Michael’s words, about how
endless it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think anyone will
ever see them all, not even God himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know if he’s even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">aware</i>
of certain floors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> know of the one I speak of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I believe he knows it very well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So let us go there, an express elevator
taken seventy-seven planes above the one we’ve left Benji and Cal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels different, already, doesn’t it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The air is different here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time moves differently here (and as well it
should, given how many <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">times </i>these <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">times</i> have happened).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This place is not a normal place and it is
not the same <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when</i> as when we left
Benji and Cal.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A large city stretches out before
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It looks familiar, and you may think
you’ve been here before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not New
York City because New York City doesn’t exist this in this iteration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, the monstrous towers of steel and glass
you see stretching miles before you make up a quite different city
altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a city where
electronic signs exist on every block, reminding everyone in brilliantly blue
writing that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ALL ELEMENTALS ARE REQUIRED
TO CARRY PROPER IDENTIFICATION AS PER THE ELEMENTAL REGISTRATION ACT OF 2014.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It further warns that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ANY ELEMENTAL FOUND NOT CARRYING PROPER IDENTIFICATION WILL BE PROSECUTED
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Prosecuted?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What has happened here since we left?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Come to think of it, Terra City seems
awfully quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More subdued then the
last time we were here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s eerie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s odd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The City feels…well, it feels <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">suppressed.</i>
But even through this suppression, if we close our eyes, we can still feel
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A man with gray eyes. A traitor
who broke a Circle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A scarred woman who
would be King.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A Split One, though he is
not ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And one other, one we are not
familiar with, not yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her name is
Lan-Dinh Ngo, and she might be more dangerous than all the rest, though only
time will tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not safe
here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We must leave while we can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should seek out safer places before we
make an impossible journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Some of our old friends are still
around, though I fear I may have left them alone for too long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we fly over the city to its outskirts and
follow a highway, we’ll get to a small village, the name of which is not
important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s important is a stark
building that rises out of the ground, so much bigger than anything around it,
a monument of times past.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Portandum Station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">For
trains</i>, an old friend once said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Not for police</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Can you feel them in there?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like a last bastion for a war that is
about to begin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Here is what we see:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A woman named Amy is in a place called
the Training Grounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She takes down a
team of Elementals in a complicated series of flips and twists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wipes sweat from her brow and thinks
about how empty her heart feels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
tells the team to stand up and starts the exercise all over again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A man named Jason sits on the eighth
floor, staring out the window, wondering why he sees a thin gold pulse outside
his window, a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thread</i> leading him
toward the City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t know what it
means, just that it’s getting louder and who it points too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t know how much longer he can avoid
the call.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A man named Otis sits at a desk in his
room on the fifth floor, studying a book that contains word problems that are
supposed to exercise his damaged brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He brushes his finger over the scar on his temple and his thoughts
wander to a man that he’s been thinking about more and more lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wants to be fixed so that he may tell this
man how he really feels.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A woman named Edna is alone in a Council
Chamber, poring over ancient texts, trying to find any hints as to why there
are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two</i>, why she’d never known before
that there are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">two</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shudders and thinks of a man named Dan
Evans who has died in a forgotten tunnel far below the City.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She sniffs and wipes away a tear before
turning back to the text.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The answer
must be there <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">somewhere.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A fractured man named Tick sits in a
place called the Tech Cave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He stares
dumbly at the computer screen in front of him, the zeros and ones of a
complicated line of binary code stretching out in front of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he’s not reading it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not even seeing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s lost, you see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This half of the Clock Twins no longer knows
his place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s always under a cloud of
suspicion, not that he blames anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
should have seen more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He should have
done more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything that has happened,
he thinks, is all his fault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He switches
the monitor off to go find Otis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
needs a hug, and the big guy is great at giving them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There’s one more we should see while we
are here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I
don’t care if It </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">is<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">
God, </i>he once said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I would destroy It to find you.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is not God, as you will soon see, but
something else entirely.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But here, on the third floor of an old
train station, is a man who suffers more than the rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our Seven, the heartsworn to the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Findo
Unum</i>—the Split One—who disappeared months before in order to save them
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His love, a man who is now fighting
against corruption that moves like black oil within him, is gone and Seven
still doesn’t know how to get him back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
prays that it is not too late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I will
find you, little man,” he says to the empty room, ignoring the way his voice
cracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I swear on everything I have
that I will find you.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He touches a
medallion that hangs from his neck, a silver heptagon that has a flame on one
side, a green tornado on the other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And,
of course, the words<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Es Cor Meum.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You
are my heart.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And now we know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have caught glimpses of our old friends,
and I feel that our separation from them at this moment will not be as long as
the one before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll leave them now,
not with a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good-bye</i>, but a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">see you soon</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We leave the Station and float high in
the air again until we are above the Earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But we are not leaving this plane of existence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not quite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is no need to get on the elevator to switch floors, as the
allegory goes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, think of where
we are headed as like a balcony to the floor we’re already on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s attached, but separate. Let us head
there now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s not as difficult as one might
think, to get to this place, and before we know it, we’re here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Do you smell that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the air?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Smells like flowers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Before you and I part, I will show you
this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">An impossible field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">improbable
</i>field, as our old friend Big Eddie might say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This field is covered in flowers as
far as the eye can see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they are
silent flowers, at least for the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They don’t speak of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">twos </i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">corruption</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are not covered in black and they do not
shriek.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They just wave and waft in the
breeze.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to be a sunny day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And in this impossible field, lies a
fallen angel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It fell one day longer ago
than you and I could ever possibly imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It fell from the grace of God and became stuck in its ideals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rooted</i>
in its belief that God was not correct, that he was not the way for humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fallen angel once had a name, and that
name was Metatron.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was the highest
ranking angel in existence until he saw the destruction of God’s ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sought to change things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sought to break them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so God cast him from Heaven and he fell
through the planes, through the floors until he wanted to fall no more and
landed in a field he himself created.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His anger overtook him and he became fused to the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His fury caused his skin to harden and split
apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His anguish caused his fingers to
lengthen and sprout leaves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">corruption</i> caused his insides to fill
with oil that spilled like sap down his sides.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The fallen angel became a tree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Great</i> Tree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And It felt, on this day, at this
moment, the humanizing of the guardian angel Calliel. And it smiled.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What now?” asks a voice from
below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What happens next?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Tree bends Its trunk and peers
down at Felix Paracel and the fallen angel smiles again, Its branches bending
upward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does not miss the way Felix
shudders at the sight of its foliage.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Felix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our Felix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Split.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Halved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trapped in a place known as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Infiniti Agri.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Infinity Fields.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What now?” he says again, and even
through the desperation, we hear his strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s almost time for him to stand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s almost time for him to stand and be true.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Now,” the fallen angel Metatron rumbles,
“we begin. If these worlds cannot <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">burn</i>
then I promise you that they will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">break</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-51217772338787189792013-03-23T09:47:00.001-07:002013-03-23T09:47:32.529-07:00Into This River I Drown Pre-Release Thoughts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>If the relationship of father to
son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze
with the glory of fathers and sons.</i> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
--James Baldwin </div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Benji is the
narrator for Into This River I Drown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
You’re not going
to like him very much, at least at first.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Strange thing for
an author to say about their own creation, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, I am aware of that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am also aware what happens in the book,
where it ends up, the secrets it has waiting for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The twists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The turns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The moments where
you’ll want to pull your hair out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
moments where you’ll think <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I can’t
believe TJ just did that!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The heartbreak. One specific
moment I am pretty sure will have people calling for my tar and feathering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And ultimately, a sunrise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
But before all
that happens, you’ll need to know Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Benji, Benji,
Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can I tell you about him?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
As most of you
know, I’ve kept the plot of this book under wraps, going so far as to threaten
any and all who’ve read it so far with bodily harm lest they attempt to release
any details.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have not provided any
excerpts, nor have I really given the names of the characters involved aside
from the leads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think I mentioned the
character of Nina at one point, long ago, in one of my ramblings, only because
she is such an integral part of the book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is Benji’s aunt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has Down
Syndrome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is often the voice of
reason in all the dark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she is my
favorite character out of the whole book (though the character of Abe runs a
close second; he’s an elderly dude who takes no shit from anyone).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Why all the
secrecy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
I could tell you
that it’s because of those twists and turns I mentioned before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be a good reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book shot off in directions even I
didn’t see coming, and I think there will be plenty of jaws dropped.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
I could tell you
that it’s because I like to tease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
is certainly true.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
I could tell you
it’s because I’ve never attempted a novel such as this and I want everyone to
experience it equally for the first time at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is true, yes, but it’s not the real
reason.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
The real reason is
because this book is an ode to my father.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But Tj!</i> you ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What
does that have to do with Benji and secrets?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Plenty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Back in May 2012,
I wrote a longish post about my father who had died when was younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can read the post here if you haven’t
already by clicking <a href="http://tjklunebooks.blogspot.com/2012/05/thoughts-on-grief-and-drowing-in-river.html" target="_blank">http://tjklunebooks.blogspot.com/2012/05/thoughts-on-grief-and-drowing-in-river.html</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fair warning, it is a tad
maudlin, but that is where I was at when writing this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
To say Into This
River I Drown tore me into tiny little pieces would be something of an
understatement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote obsessively on
this, to the point where I’d only be getting an hour or two of sleep a night,
going to work fifty hours a week, and then writing again until the wee hours of
the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was cathartic, I guess,
at least as the end approached. The process leading up to the end felt like I
was ripping open old wounds for no reason at all but just to do them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I learned something about grief, which
River is centered around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Naturally,
after substantial loss like that of a parent or loved one, grief will follow.
It’s meant to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s how we as humans
react.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without grief, we would just be
cold shells.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Grief is
necessary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Grief is predictable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Grief is expected.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
But, if left to
fester too long, grief can become something else entirely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
It can be selfish.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
It can be
consuming.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
It can become
obsessive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
And, above all
else, it can cause you to drown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
And this is why
some may not like Benji.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might even
hate him, for a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see, he’s let
himself wallow in grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s become
selfish and consumed and obsessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
dark and mournful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s drowning
metaphorically, much like his father did physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether or not you can relate to Benji, in my
opinion, is largely based upon if you have ever known the obsessiveness of
grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve let it get to the
tipping point where it’s all you know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you’ve been there, you know there’s a moment where a very clear
choice will come to you that you can either stop drowning, or you can let the
water close over your head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve
never been there, I am sure, at the very least, you can still imagine what it
is like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Benji is at this
tipping point the moment the novel opens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s been five years since Big Eddie died, and he’s at this tipping
point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s obsessed with the secrets of
his father, the death that was called an accident, the little town he lives in
that knows more that it shows on its pretty cobbled streets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grew up in a small town.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know how secrets work in those little
forgotten places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
But know that not
all is dark: this is a love story after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But there are more kinds of love then one boy for another, though it is
there between Benji and the mysterious Cal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is also about the love one has for friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Trio, Benji’s aunts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His friend Abe, who was Big
Eddie’s best friend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Above all else
though, this book is about one man’s love for his father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is something I know very dearly, even
though my father is gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book was
my way of telling my father how much I miss him, how much has happened in my
world since he’s been gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mixed into
the narrative of River are a few real life memories that I have of my dad, the
ones that I can remember most dearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Other memories are ones that I would like to think I could have had had
my father not died when his pickup crashed into the back of an abandoned
tractor trailer in the middle of the woods.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
This book is for
my father, because above all else, I am my father’s son.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Is there humor,
though?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t write a full book without
interjecting that side of me as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those moments help to chase away the shadows that come with obsessive
grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>400 pages of nothing but moping
would probably drive even the most hardcore fan insane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll never look at Lucky Charms the same
way, to be sure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
There is hope,
too. How can there not be? Benji may be at his tipping point, and the waters
may be closing over his head, but there’s still a chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A chance that he could be pulled away from
the river.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That, above all else, is
wanted I to wanted to write about: hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are nothing without it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can
be nothing unless it is there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless
there is that chance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
This is also a
complete story with a beginning, middle, and definitive ending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will not be a sequel to this book. But,
there could be a chance for a…nah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
won’t finish that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ll just have to
find out for yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Out of everything
I’ve written, I am most proud of this story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is my definitive book on family, a subject I’ve seemed to have
carved a bit of a niche for myself in this genre.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a way for you to meet my dad, as I
remember him, and as I would have hoped things could have been like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’ll be a long road, a tough road, but in
the end, I hope you’ll think it’s worth it, because I promise you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the sun will rise</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
I’ll end this with
the dedication that is at the beginning of the Into This River I Drown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It summarizes everything I could ever hope to
say about this story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll see you all
on the other side with a post-release blog that will include a short story, one
that I believe people are going to be clamoring for by the time they finish
River.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember: things aren’t always
what they seem and the rabbit hole goes much further than you could ever have
imagined.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Love, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
TJ</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXMevVE9EDOkiEnWP7jgI7ZHCL_DmevUZs8b1US-IvaabjLZ5oNPZm9UPrpJ-srGXCuBC3RCnjsMHGJqscOO7g3ZWkCPQXplfnYDV3ZP4BnNDl4_6Qw_cT52LuFeCXsOMBXIYQ2MwlTlyV/s1600/2012-05-25_11-59-09_477.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXMevVE9EDOkiEnWP7jgI7ZHCL_DmevUZs8b1US-IvaabjLZ5oNPZm9UPrpJ-srGXCuBC3RCnjsMHGJqscOO7g3ZWkCPQXplfnYDV3ZP4BnNDl4_6Qw_cT52LuFeCXsOMBXIYQ2MwlTlyV/s320/2012-05-25_11-59-09_477.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Into This River I Drown Dedication:</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">For my father,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">John Edward Irwin</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">May 27, 1955—June 27, 1987</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">For all the things I can remember.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">For all the things I have forgotten.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">For all the things I never got the chance to say.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="Default" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">For all the things I'll say when I see you again.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Every word that follows is for you.</span></div>
<br /><br />
<br />TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-9039166668689286702013-03-09T10:09:00.001-08:002013-03-09T10:09:23.294-08:00Into This River I Drown Playlist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8l5f9w3stlFEzM_KiIk2QeZnNawnW2IbqEC7VnMBOEZKw7aOkhZJ9C9KgWP1PqBT1MSWQ0sY_RAV7T-dv8zF9eyNfCSO3SGUMjft56ap6akiG1KcazIfsA5vxNbMBD4A-Zddjsw2v151h/s1600/IntoThisRiverIDrown_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8l5f9w3stlFEzM_KiIk2QeZnNawnW2IbqEC7VnMBOEZKw7aOkhZJ9C9KgWP1PqBT1MSWQ0sY_RAV7T-dv8zF9eyNfCSO3SGUMjft56ap6akiG1KcazIfsA5vxNbMBD4A-Zddjsw2v151h/s400/IntoThisRiverIDrown_FBbanner_DSP.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">You are sixteen days
away from drowning in the river.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Into This River I
Drown is not structured like a traditional novel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s divided into four parts, and then within
each of these parts comes the headers you’ll see listed below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was very careful when writing this book to
not have the headers give away any part of the story, so you can read on
knowing there aren’t any spoilers ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Instead, I hope it increases your anticipation for River.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Music has always
played a huge part in my writing, and none more so than this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Into This River I Drown is a big novel, with
my biggest cast of characters yet, and in my head, I have theme songs for each
of them, and each of the scenes they are in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But at its core, ITRID is about Benji, his father Big Eddie, and the
mysterious Calliel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Therefore, each of
these songs are from their points of view.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">If at all possible, I
strongly urge you to purchase these songs to add to your collection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, I’ve created an ITRID YouTube
Channel where you’ll find all of the videos listed below in order for you to
listen to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s the link to click on: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGB4g9W_1OmOW1PGQkat1lIyAywkTHdUm" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGB4g9W_1OmOW1PGQkat1lIyAywkTHdUm</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">As always, I don’t
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">(Also, one of these
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I'm not going to post videos for each of the songs, especially since the YouTube Channel is there, but I will post my most favorites and the ones I think are the most important to understanding the book.</span></div>
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-16324360840919105262013-02-09T09:42:00.000-08:002013-02-09T09:48:31.982-08:00Tell Me It's Real: Pre-Release Thoughts (About Stuff And Things)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Haven't had a pre-release blog in some time, now have I?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You know, it’s funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I finished <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who We Are</i> in late 2011, I didn’t think it would take this long for
me to be published again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My plan was to
immediately start on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Elementally Evolved
Book II: Break</i>, knowing that when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>
was released a few months later in February 2012, people would be clamoring for
the sequel as soon as they finished the first one (little did I know then that
“clamoring” was putting it lightly; shrieking bloody murder is probably closer to
the truth—patience, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i> readers:
you’ll be getting answers to some very important questions a whole heck of a
lot sooner than you think).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But then life happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good and bad, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s flash forward past the first four
months of 2012, shall we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No need to
rehash old news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needless to say I
wasn’t writing on anything, much less <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Break</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Finally, a couple of days after <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who We Are</i> came out, I kicked my own ass
and picked myself up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dusted myself
off and got back to work.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">From May 2<sup>nd</sup> to approximately
the end of July 2012, I wrote 340K words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let me repeat that: I wrote <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">three
hundred and forty thousand words</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In the space of less than three months.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pent up much?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The first novel, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Into This River I
Drown</i>, is probably the most epic thing I’ve written, at least in scope and
cast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a sprawling novel about
fathers and sons, the secrets they have and share, and the meaning of the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sacrifice</i> (and yes, at its heart, it’s a
love story between Benji and Cal). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
will say, with confidence, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i>
will be my most divisive book among readers, even more so than Burn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s really going to be no middle ground
on this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s all I’m going to say
on it for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>March 25<sup>th</sup> is
when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i> comes out and I’ll have a blog
post up before it’s released (in addition, I’ll have a playlist up for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i> as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry, no playlist for TMIR—I couldn’t find a
way to make it work, so I am forgoing it this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But trust me, the playlist for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i>, for those that follow those, is
pretty damn epic).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After I finished <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">River</i>, I wanted to continue the momentum I had going and
immediately started working on a book that, in my head, had initially started
out as BOATK 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem with that is
that it didn’t ring true to the story I had in mind for Dom and Tyson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The narrator, who was supposed to be Tyson, came
off sounding way to much like me. While I am a part of the Kid, he has his own
voice, separate from my own. So, in the end I scrapped it as BOATK3 and started
it with completely new characters.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then, with the BOATK issue out of the
way, I made the plan for it to be a short novel, about 60K words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That didn’t happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s over twice that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Tell
Me It’s Real</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What can I tell you about it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What if I told you I like it better than BOATK and WWA?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would you find that to be sacrilegious?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blasphemous, even?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, guess what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a better novel than BOATK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a stronger novel than WWA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a stronger writer than I was even just
last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted, I still have so very
much to learn, but I am more confident now with my words, and I think that will
show.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When I scrapped it as BOATK3, a new idea
started forming in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stick with
me on this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You know what I hate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Insta! love stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what I mean: boy meets boy (or shifter
meets boy, or shifter meets shifter or boy meets goat) and they have sex the
first day, fall in love the second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And,
all the while this is happening, everything is “Honey” this, or “Sweetheart”
that, or “Baby, baby, baby.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For example:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 1: “Hey, I just met you and this is
crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s my number, you want to
move in with me, baby?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 2: “I don’t even know your name, but
yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 1:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“I’m going to stick it in you now, baby sugarplum fairy tits.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 2:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Introspective: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is what true
love feels like!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 1: “Urgh. I just spooged all up in
you, honey bear flower blossom.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 2: “I can feel you moving inside
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s how I know it’s love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s your name?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 1: “Dax McEllory Von Sleptoberg.” (because
remember, all m/m romance names are ridiculous now.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s yours, gumdrop sugarface?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 2: “Blaze Stoningham Wilskenshire.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 1: “You need a pet name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shall call you Tator Tot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you, Tator Tot.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Boy 2: “I love you too, Daxy baby
floobity flab.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You know what I hate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because you know you’ve read a story <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exactly</i>
like that at some point in time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But. (Of course there’s a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">but!</i>)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if</i>
love at first sight could work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without
all that gross superfluous crap added into it?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I heard a story, right before I started
writing TMIR, of a man and woman who’d met, fallen in love, married and moved
in together, all in the space of a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They were being interviewed for their <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fiftieth</i> wedding anniversary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When asked how he knew that his wife was the woman for him, he just
looked over at her, a small smile on his face, and said, “When you know, you
know.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When
you know, you know.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">How profound is that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How deeply moving?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How fucking <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">romantic</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then I got to thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there such a thing as love at first
sight?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that biologically and humanely
possible?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To listen to this man speak of
his wife, you’d think it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course,
the pessimist in me scoffed at such a notion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s hard being a romantic cynic, trust me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume it’s akin to being bipolar.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Why not?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So here’s what I did: I decided, in my
infinite wisdom, to write a story about love at first sight, but to make it as
realistic as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I gave in to
the idea that it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">could </i>happen, I
wanted to see if I could write it and have it be believable.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After writing ITRID, I wanted it to be
lighter, funnier, sweeter (though with a bite to it).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It needed to be snarky, and sarcastic, and
outrageous and ridiculous (in a good way).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I started writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It took me 36
days to finish the first draft.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, up
to that point, I never had a better writing experience than I did with TMIR</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Here’s what I can tell you:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Paul, your narrator: an overweight, shy,
overtly sarcastic 30 year old man who is more than the sum of his parts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has a two legged dog named Wheels and his
best friend is the drag queen Helena Handbasket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His parents and his nana Gigi don’t give a
flying fuck that he’s gay (though, his nana’s homophobic parrot, Johnny Depp,
says otherwise).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted his family
life to be happy, as I’d had my fill of homophobic parental stuff after Julie
in BOATK.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then there’s Vince.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah, Vince.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Vince is… what is he?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vince is
the other main character.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vince is…
well, Vince isn’t exactly smart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
that’s putting it mildly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he’s so
far out of Paul’s league (so Paul thinks) that he might as well be on another
planet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But from the moment Vince sees
Paul, something happens and….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’ll just have to read it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will say this, though, with some
confidence: TMIR is the funniest thing I’ve written, because it came from a
time when I needed to laugh. A romantic comedy can’t be a romantic comedy
unless you have some…you know…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">comedy</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to avoid any of the usual pitfalls
and clichés that plague the genre, of which I myself have written as well (as a
matter of fact, I go so far as to poke fun at a lot of them and myself:
emotional style vomiting, anyone?)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You remember that dinner scene from WWA?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How the conversations flowed over each
other?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many, many readers who’ve written
to me mention that as their favorite scene out of the whole book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s awesome, because I am so very proud of
that scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But just you wait until you
read the text message scene between Paul and Vince.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All who have read it so far have mentioned it
one way or another, and I think it actually rivals the dinner scene and may
even surpass it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s very simply done,
but it still cracks me up to read it to this day (which is saying something,
with how many times I’ve had to go through TMIR to get it ready to be published).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Will you cry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Had I been asked right after I finished it, I
would have said no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, the feedback
I’ve gotten from beta readers all the way up to the final proof reader is that
yes, yes you will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Sorry.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Kind of.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(Okay, not really.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, it’s not
going to be from any kind of unnecessary angst (I’m saving all <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> for BOATK 3 =D).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certain… <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">circumstances</i>
happen and I can see how that could make people tear up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recommend, however, saving as many tears as
you can for ITRID.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">John and Jackie</i> in May.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And quite possibly for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ghoul’s Gym</i> (which, according to the beta reader for Eric Arvin and I,
we did the impossible by making the reader cry in the middle of reading about a
zombie apocalypse. Epic).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So! February 15<sup>th </sup>(six days!)
is when you’ll get to meet my new cast of characters in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tell Me It’s Real</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it
also marks the start of my publishing year, as I’ll be releasing more this year
than the past two combined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t wait
for you all to read what’s coming next, and I hope you enjoy the journey as
much as I have.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Much love,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Travis</span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-74455251446314178232012-12-08T09:22:00.003-08:002012-12-08T09:22:49.823-08:00The 10 Month Lapse<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">By the time my next novel is released,
it’ll have been 10 months since I’ve published a book. 294 days. 7,056 hours. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Now, to some, that may not seem like a
long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To my long suffering readers,
it probably seems like decades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, in the
m/m world, it’s probably like a lifetime, given how literally hundreds of
m/m books have been released since April 2012 when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who We Are</i> came out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It also
seems like some authors have releases every few weeks, as if they are some kind
of m/m mass producing machine and are able to churn out books like
clockwork.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t attest to the quality
of those books as I haven’t read them, but I can’t help but wonder how that is
possible and have the books be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they are and I just don’t know it and
it’s my loss because I haven’t read them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe they’re not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not some
snob, however, who is under any illusions that what<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> I</i> write is considered high literature (though, I suppose you can
debate what can be considered “literature” until you’re blue in the face and
never come to a specific consensus).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am becoming increasingly concerned with the saturation of the m/m market as it
seems to be getting harder and harder to weed through all the titles and the
ratings seem to be getting lower and lower for all these new books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eh. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s another blog post all together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s talk about me some more instead. Hurray!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">If we went in order of completion, me
next novel released would be Into This River I Drown, followed by the novel,
Tell Me It’s Real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ITRID was the hardest
thing I’ve ever had to write, given multiple things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The subject matter, as it is an ode to my
father; reopening wounds long thought closed is never something I want to do
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The timing of the novel itself:
ITRID was the first thing I wrote once my time in self-imposed pitying exile
was complete following the accusations over BOATK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote like a man possessed, turning out
230,000 words in the space of approximately two months (it has been since
edited waaaay down. Sort of.).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never want to do
something like that again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t sleep
much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was surly all the time, if I was
even aware at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t interact
with a lot of people during that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’d get up at 530 in the morning to write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d go to work at seven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come home at five.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Write until two or three in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then I started the same thing all over
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stopped taking care of myself
as well as I should have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t the
best experience of my life, but it may well have produced the very best thing
I’ve written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Into This River I Drown is
the work I’m most proud of out of all my books and I think you’ll see why.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Following ITRID, I needed to go
light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fluffy. Short (ha!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started writing what I thought would be a 40-60K
word story about an overweight sarcastic dude, named Paul who had a two legged dog
named Wheels, a cynical partner in crime/best friend/confidante (who also
happened to be a drag queen) named Helena Handbasket, and a lovable (though not
very smart) hunk who believed in love at first sight named Vince.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Easy</i>,
I told myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Keep it short.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep it simple. </i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That didn’t go like I had planned at all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">I had too much fun with those
characters, probably more fun than I’ve had with any of my previous books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a welcome change after the somberness
of ITRID, and it was a rewarding writing experience for me, probably the best
I’ve had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There wasn’t any time I was
pulling my hair out, wondering how a character could possibly be acting the way
they were acting and why oh WHY was there so much angst?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Tell Me Its Real is a screwball, madcap
romantic comedy that is, without a doubt, the closest I’ll ever get to writing
a pure comedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s also going
to be my most accessible novel, as well as the one that is closest to and
hopefully will be able to translate over to film (hint, hint producers—make
this into a movie!).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">However, in order to get back into the
swing of things, I requested that Tell Me It’s Real come out first, just
because it’s been so long since I’ve had a book out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want it to be ITRID and have people
be all, “Yay! A new Klune book! And now he made us Wookiee Cry Face within the
first five minutes! Ugh!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, I
wanted people to feel all light and happy with Tell Me It’s Real first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, I’ll make you cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">So.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have Tell Me It’s Real out on February 15<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a little shorter than Who We Are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have Into This River I Drown out on March
25<sup>th</sup>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s longer than BOATK,
but shorter than Burn.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">After that?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Eric Arvin and I got our Zombie novella
coming out from Empire Press in what I think will be April 2013.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a horror comedy satire that’ll gross
you out and make you go AHHHHHHHH and then AWWWWWWW. (And then you’ll probably
look at us weird for the twisted shit we’ve thought up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helps when the person you’re writing with
is also the person you’re dating because you can say the most off the wall shit
that should be included in the book and the boyfriend/co-writer won’t even bat
an eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a matter of fact, he’ll
probably run with it and make it more dirty and gross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Arvin, how I adore you, especially since
we’re going to make a zombie ____<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the
bodybuilder).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">After that, I’ll get serious again with
my novella John & Jackie, a 30K word story that’s probably the most
romantic thing I’ve written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also
the shortest, which was an interesting experiment for someone like me who word
vomits all over the place. I set myself a cap of 20K words when I set out
writing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously I failed
miserable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had thought of starting
J&J (and actually did) after BOATK came out with the plans of making it
this massive, story told over the course of two novels, a decades spanning love
story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what’s awesome?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did that same thing in 30K words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I adore that little story and hope you do
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’ll be released as part of an
anthology called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crack The Darkest Sky
Wide Open</i> in May 2013 and will include Arvin and some other awesome talent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aside from the short story experimentation,
this will be the first time I ever go the self-publishing route as we are doing
this antho on our own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">So, will the lapse between my last books
and these new works hurt me, given how it seems new authors pop up all the time
and release book after book after book after book in such a short amount of
time?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, I’d like to think it
won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Given the success of my first
three novels, I hope that’s afforded me some allowances and a bit of time to
work out the kinks in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m happy
to say those kinks have been destroyed and I don’t plan on going anywhere for
as long as you’ll have me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">(Oh, and P.S.—my plan is to have
Elementally Evolved Book II: Break released toward the end of next year
followed by BOATK 3 either at the end of 2013 or beginning 2014.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, this is a real thing.)</span></div>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-57683631572999518022012-11-17T11:28:00.000-08:002012-11-17T11:29:33.193-08:00The Epic BOATK Holiday Poem Part II<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Okie dokie, friends and neighbors! Here we are again, entering into the holiday season, a time of love and joy and family and blah, blah blah. That's all bullshit, right? <i>We</i> know the <i>real</i> meaning of Christmas, don't we? It's about how Santa is really Satan and tries to take over the world. That's the <i>true</i> meaning of the holidays. Good thing there's a kick-ass vegetarian who rises up to fight the Devil. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Couple of things:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">1) Yes, this is illustrated. But, of course, my scanner broke THE DAY I AM RELEASING THIS FUCKING STORY!!!! So, I had to be all ghetto and take photos of each picture and upload them. I call it guerrilla illustrating, so it makes me sound more awesome. But, keep in mind you can click on each picture and it'll blow up so you can read all the words I've written there. Trust me, there's a few things you don't want to miss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">2) You will most likely get Wookiee Cry Face. I did.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">3) <span style="font-size: large;">I </span>really want a burrito from Los Betos right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">4) This one time I--</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">What was that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I talk too much. Here's your damn story and have a merry holiday blah, blah, blah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Remember, you can share this story, but ask me first, cool? Don't be a dick about it. I wrote it, it's mine and I know attorneys (okay, I don't really, but didn't that scare you?).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;">'Twas A Few Days Before Christmas</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;">Part II:</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: red;">DIE, SATAN, DIE</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Heartwarming Holiday BOATK Short</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: large;">By TJ Klune</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWNVzkWzmyBmlgfuJgmR0ToEmyqGL4x7zZzysvxheJzkEyMWIw9_nzzS4gpQj_iTSkaDXx6c9rFLM-uNxcII3rRnhyGxYeL4_VAhS9hy_mQ_xGkhGmubIC7MPA7kec_Aq0FTJ6qhqoPEQ/s1600/christmas_lights22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWNVzkWzmyBmlgfuJgmR0ToEmyqGL4x7zZzysvxheJzkEyMWIw9_nzzS4gpQj_iTSkaDXx6c9rFLM-uNxcII3rRnhyGxYeL4_VAhS9hy_mQ_xGkhGmubIC7MPA7kec_Aq0FTJ6qhqoPEQ/s320/christmas_lights22.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><span style="color: red;"> </span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bear! Otter!”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The scream from the Kid is one of
such mortal terror that I swear my heart stops instantly in my chest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m running through the kitchen of the Green
Monstrosity even before I realize I’m moving, sure I’ll enter the living room
where the Kid and Dom are sitting and find them both lit on fire or their skin
sloughing off due to a rapidly spreading case of necrotizing fasciitis (that’s
the flesh-eating disease for all of you not in the know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw a report of it on the news a couple of
months back and was convinced for the longest time that every unclean surface
would carry necrotizing fasciitis and that everyone I loved would contract it
and have their noses fall off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which, of
course, led to the thought of trying to make out with Otter while he didn’t
have a nose and I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just couldn’t picture
it</i> and I told him that it may make me an asshole, but if he lost his nose,
I’d probably end up leaving him because what would happen if I kissed him and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i> nose went into the hole where his
nose used to be and I tried to take a breath and ended up breathing in his
insides?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He gave me the weirdest look
and I was reminded yet again that sometimes, I shouldn’t say everything that
comes across my brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That, and I heard
Otter and the Kid talking later and my name and the words “manic” and
“obsessive compulsive” were uttered in the same sentence and then I sort of
wished they both would lose their noses for talking about my crazy behind my
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, to be honest, by then I was
already partially distracted by trying to figure out if the flesh eating
disease was the same as leprosy and I really just lost a whole day pursuing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> idea).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah, yeah, I know: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">same old Papa Bear.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Blargh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But now that doesn’t matter because
the way Ty has screamed my name means I have to get to him as quickly as I
can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can hear Otter thundering down
the stairs from where he was pulling down the last of the Christmas decorations
from the closet in the spare bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
almost crash into him, but manage to avoid the collision by doing this
jump/spin/dive/kick thingy that I am sure would look awesome in slow
motion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m surprised when I land on my
feet and I have a moment where I think that I would have made a spectacular
ninja assassin, but then I’m running again, crossing the last few feet until I
reach the living room.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Please
don’t be necrotizing fasciitis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please
don’t be necrotizing fasciitis.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s not necrotizing fasciitis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Kid is not on fire.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As a matter of fact, he and Dom are
standing in front of the couch, watching me expectantly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Kid smiles as Otter crashes into my
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Told you that would get them in
here,” Ty tells Dom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s holding pieces
of paper in his hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That was amazing,” Dom rumbles at
him in that broken voice of his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I
don’t think I’ve ever seen Bear move that fast.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What happened?” I demand, darting
my eyes between them, sure still that something is wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the necrotizing fasciitis is eating
them from the inside <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">out</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bear can move fast when he wants
too,” the Kid says, rolling his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Usually though, it’s only when there’s bacon involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You remember that documentary we watched on
the hunting habits of the Tyrannosaurus Rex?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s kind of like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of
snarling, bloody meat-eating, and stubby little arms.” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You don’t have stubby little arms,”
Otter says automatically, patting my shoulder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you dying?” I ask the Kid, my
voice high-pitched.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not unless you plan on being killed
by my epic-ness,” he says, a glint in his eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dom snorts next to him and Ty elbows
him in the stomach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Epic-ness is not a
word,” he says with a chuckle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Creative license,” the Kid says.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Creative….” I stop, my eyes narrowing
and going to the papers in his hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">didn’t</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">didn’t</i>.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His grin is positively gleeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I did.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” Otter asks, glancing between
the two of us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You manipulative little shit,” I
growl, taking a step forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You
screamed like that to get us in here just so you could tell us another
Christmas poem!”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He scowls at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What do you mean by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was literally the
high point of your year last year.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
glances over my shoulder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well, aside
from that whole Otter thing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wow,” Otter says from behind
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s always fun to know that the
best thing in my life gets reduced to ‘that whole Otter thing.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was about to be excited about your dumb
poem.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dumb</i>?”
Ty says, obviously outraged.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I grin back at him over my
shoulder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Best thing in your life,
huh?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn right.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Otter smiles crookedly at me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Gross,” the Kid whispers loudly to
Dom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Watch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re going to start kissing in a minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do that now all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creed says it’s because they’re in the
honeymoon phase of their marriage, even though they got married like four
months ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me I was going to be
disgusted for weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s already felt
like years.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I wonder if it’s too late to go
back to court and say I changed my mind,” I ask Otter, doing my best not to
turn back and kiss him just because I don’t want to prove the Kid right. “Do
you think they have an adoption return policy? Like if you don’t like the
little thing you’ve adopted, you can return it within a year for a full
refund?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We could,” Otter says, “but I don’t
think they’d take back damaged product.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He stands next to me and squints at Ty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“And this is very damaged.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You know what’s sad, Dom?” the Kid
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s that?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“When your older brother and his
husband think they’re funny but happen to be the only people that think so.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I think they’re funny,” Dom admits
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve always knew it’d be you who
betrayed me,” Ty says, looking scandalized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can’t help but feel a slight chill to his words, but I push that away,
thinking it’s probably just my crazy again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Am I in the poem more this time?”
Otter asks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Last time, I was in it for
like two minutes and only after everything was done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was lame.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, but I also wrote that you and
Bear were going to get married and look what happened.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has a smug look on his face that I have to
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m in,” Otter says, just as I knew
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fine,” I say, throwing my hands up
in the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It can’t be any worse than
last year, could it?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This time I have illustrations!”
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh sweet Jesus,” I mutter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We move to sit on the couch, Otter
wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lay my head on his shoulder and can’t help
but glance down at the rings on our hands as his fingers touch mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My breath catches in my throat as it often
does when it hits me yet again that we’re as married as two men can be in the
state of Oregon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little goose bumps
prickle along my skin and I turn and kiss the skin of his neck lightly,
brushing my nose against his unshaven cheek.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He grunts quietly and pulls me tighter, knowing everything I’m thinking
like he always does.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No commentary this time,” the Kid
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I snort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His eyes narrow, but he lets it
go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Okay, this year, the epic
spectacular of a poem is titled ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Twas A Few
Days Before Christmas Part II: Die, Satan, Die.</i>”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all stare at him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” he says defensively.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Satan returns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has to die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s pretty much the point.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Christmas is so weird in your
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No amount of therapy can fix this,”
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Get it?” he asks, ignoring me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Instead of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gay</i>, it’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pay</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although, in this household, I’m pretty sure <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gay </i>fits more appropriately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like our own daily pride parade up in
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s not a normal kid,” I mumble
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the apocalypse.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Understatement,” Otter whispers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I wish we had made a fallout shelter.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can hear you,” the Kid reminds us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Let’s get this over with,” I tell
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You make it sound as if this is the
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I haven’t had my wisdom teeth
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quite yet.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYSbEOtBMUUygscQGR5C7TFPNON1FMJl127U20_slAujxnVAS58qyf1x2sgBpjG_-W_BdahAvW8ah9Av5hBkY7ZqKNQCn4fuhQARAAgW6ixWpC_oNqk4Ty1qvrDTGl3oXDN_rVF2B10zP/s1600/BOATK1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYSbEOtBMUUygscQGR5C7TFPNON1FMJl127U20_slAujxnVAS58qyf1x2sgBpjG_-W_BdahAvW8ah9Av5hBkY7ZqKNQCn4fuhQARAAgW6ixWpC_oNqk4Ty1qvrDTGl3oXDN_rVF2B10zP/s640/BOATK1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">'Twas a few days before
Christmas</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">in the fabled town of
Seafare.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There was magic flowing
in the streets,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and a delightful
feeling in the air!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It was the holiday
season</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">returned again at last!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This year would be most
epic!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To make up for the year
just past!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You see, much has
changed</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">in Seafare, and all
around the world.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone has altered their
ways!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Every single boy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every single girl!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">From the most staunch
and stoic,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">From little ones to octogenarians!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because of one brave,
smart, and most excellent boy,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">everyone in the world has
turned into vegetarians!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Oh Jesus,” I moan into my hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s starting already.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I swear to God we at least got through more
stanzas last year before you started preaching.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah, and I swear to God we got through
more stanzas before you decided it was okay for you to rudely interrupt a
future poet laureate,” the Kid retorts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, snap,” Otter says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You got so burned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone call the burn unit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bear’s gonna need skin grafts for those
third-degree burns.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You need to stop hanging out with
Creed,” I tell him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You’re not as funny
as you think you are.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m hysterical,” Otter reassures me.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone clearly
remembered</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">what happened last
year,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">when a single man named
Bear</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">caused a torrential
downpour of demonic fear.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In his selfish need (as
is always the same)</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to be the first to sit
on the lap of St. Nick,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">he almost brought about
the End of Days,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">all the while acting
like a total and complete dick.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1EgzVkJM3Pno-uJsKxCdAOu-nWIjcAVKacIof69dqDNDQdDmOu2Ssb8XAxPiDyOeSMfPDuBW_JxpxhFLFuBfJo0blkqtz1glM6fEExrS91_Jj9ETiLWSceEmQHUX0LYSoplQJfogaZqGn/s1600/BOATK2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1EgzVkJM3Pno-uJsKxCdAOu-nWIjcAVKacIof69dqDNDQdDmOu2Ssb8XAxPiDyOeSMfPDuBW_JxpxhFLFuBfJo0blkqtz1glM6fEExrS91_Jj9ETiLWSceEmQHUX0LYSoplQJfogaZqGn/s640/BOATK2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Tyson McKenna!” I shout above
Otter’s laughter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I couldn’t find a word that rhymed
with ‘Santa’!” the Kid shouts back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“In the city of Atlanta!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was drinking a Fanta! For my stomach ache,
I took Mylanta!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Huh,” the Kid says, looking down at
his poem with a shrug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I suppose those
could have worked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hindsight’s a bitch,
eh?”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It turned out that
Santa was Satan</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and rose up to destroy
all he saw!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A great battle ensued</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as the Devil roared out
his gaping maw!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But thanks to the
smarts</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">of the one known as the
Kid,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Satan himself was
banished</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and of the Devil, the
world was rid!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And in the year that
has followed</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The world did heed his
call!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone converted to
vegetarianism,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Oh, joyous day, happy
for one and all!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgyiUYh7b625pkDNdBnvjwCcAMTjg7jaum72HNOlrHvZzHf5NLkbQDS1Ic2fU34dzlvLeh9xcougrP6tfx-NVbumHl92ak68GeYnff8JNoCRFnsi7GvIbD9Rssvv-frv8sTk9Q15ISasc/s1600/2012-11-17_10-23-22_201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgyiUYh7b625pkDNdBnvjwCcAMTjg7jaum72HNOlrHvZzHf5NLkbQDS1Ic2fU34dzlvLeh9xcougrP6tfx-NVbumHl92ak68GeYnff8JNoCRFnsi7GvIbD9Rssvv-frv8sTk9Q15ISasc/s640/2012-11-17_10-23-22_201.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, there wouldn’t be
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">if it was </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">really<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> one and all.</i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You, see there is one
person now.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One person who could
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Five bucks says I’m that person,”
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Kid rolls his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s not all about you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I wouldn’t bet against that, either.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“All of you are so stupid,” I mutter.]</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">all because he still
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Chinese cabbage,” Dom rumbles.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Gross.”]</span><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re right!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His name now brings
fear everywhere!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That name synonymous
with harbingers of doom! </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The one, the only, the
super scary Papa Bear!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“I am divorcing you all,” I say.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Locked in a cage, deep
under Seafare,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to keep his carnivorous
appetite at bay.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For if another person
should decide to eat meat,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Satan could return and
ruin everyone’s day!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But let us leave him
for now,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and to the surface
return!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It won’t take as long
to get back to him, however,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">unlike the wait for the
sequel to the book Burn!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“What?” Otter asks, sounding
baffled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Burn</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Trust me,” the Kid says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You don’t even want to get me started.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Here in Seafare,
Christmas is in the air!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">With holly and pine and
the kissing mistletoe.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone is
tra-la-la-ing,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">filled with cheer as
they move to and fro!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hello, Tyson!” people
call out to the intelligent boy.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s lovely to see
you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How have you been?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid gives a jaunty
wave in return,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and says, “I am the
most happiest of men!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And it’s true, he is,
more than I could say!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone agrees with
him, as they rightly should!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Nothing could possibly
go wrong,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and they wouldn’t, even
if they could!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Ooooo,” Otter says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Foreshadowing.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“More like blatant upside the head
shadowing,” I say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your uppance shall come,” the Kid
says with a scowl.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re not very threatening,” Dom
tells him.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everything is
right!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything is fine!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Everyone is glorious,
smiling and free!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But, alas, things are
not always what they seem,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">for there is trouble
afoot in the town by the sea.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There is one who is
sick in the heart,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">for he loves the man
imprisoned in the cage.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He would do anything to
see him freed,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Even if it meant
ignoring advice that is sage!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“You better not be talking about
me,” Otter says with a frown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I say
leave Bear in the cage.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hey</i>!”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His name is Oliver
Thompson,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">though everyone knows
him as Otter.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But maybe one day he
can go by “Dad”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">should they ever decide
to adopt a son or daughter.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[Everyone stares at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even know what to say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sure
you do, </i>it whispers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You’ll smile and nod and say oh sure, can’t
wait!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because you just do everything for
him now, don’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that he wants is
what matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you saw the look on
his face holding little JJ, didn’t you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You know what he wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Tyson, move on,” Otter says
quietly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just read your poem, okay?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He nods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Okay, Otter.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Way
to speak up, as always, Bear.</i>]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Unbeknownst to the
town,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Otter has snuck in to
see Bear.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And what has he brought
with him?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A single piece of
bacon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, world, beware!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear has been slightly
tricksy,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">telling Otter that he
needs bacon to live.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And Otter, being the
man that he is,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">has decided he will be
the one to give.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Awww,” I say.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Shit,” Otter groans.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Bear,” Otter
says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh, Bear!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I have brought you
some succulent bacon!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Thanks be to the
heavens,” Bear says.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Without it, I have
just been a-achin’!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Fear not,” Otter
cries, “oh, love of my life.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I shall make sure your
life is sustained!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that, he slips
the bacon into Bear’s hands.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And what is to follow
shall surely be Otter’s blame.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXg-1QWs1WQMEBEekLf9rOe4Hw_K9IX9CI6Cmh0wW33lrinjIH4yJxnveHABcrDxIKKtGCs3sLE0nBucnbfU3LiCY141xwoZJgIVRcbqYQL4SlDXZRuS4dSN6opjJrt-7ktFdfYAhWtwhp/s1600/2012-11-17_10-24-04_432.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXg-1QWs1WQMEBEekLf9rOe4Hw_K9IX9CI6Cmh0wW33lrinjIH4yJxnveHABcrDxIKKtGCs3sLE0nBucnbfU3LiCY141xwoZJgIVRcbqYQL4SlDXZRuS4dSN6opjJrt-7ktFdfYAhWtwhp/s640/2012-11-17_10-24-04_432.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear takes the bacon
and shoves it in his mouth,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">chewing and biting like
it’s going out of style.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Whew,” he says as he
swallows it down. “That was good!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Though, I’ll probably
be gassy in just a little while.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then his face contorts
in a grimace,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And his hands wrap
around his middle.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Scratch that,” he says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It seems as if</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">my stomach has already
started to twiddle.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Twiddle it does, but
not just because of the pig meat,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">(though, to be honest,
that’s wouldn’t be a big surprise).</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">No, it is something
more, something bigger,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and the underground
starts to shake, to move, to terrorize!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“I just brought back Satan, didn’t
I,” Otter says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You truly did,” Dom agrees, shaking
his head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Awesome,” I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“At least it wasn’t me this time. I win at
everything”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Otter punches me in the arm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Asshole.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What is this
trickery?” Otter cries,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as the ground beneath
begins to crack!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then comes a horrendous
roar!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Like an oncoming
monster about to attack!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Uh, maybe I should
leave,” Otter says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">starting to back
against the far wall.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’m pretty sure some
bad crap is about to happen.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And I probably
shouldn’t have given you bacon. Not at all.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But Bear doesn’t seem
to hear him,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as he is bent over, his
face constricted in pain!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The roaring sound grows
even louder!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then from the
depths rises a beast thought slain!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He is fifty feet tall,
if he is an inch.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And all fiery and
brimstone and black and red!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His teeth are foot long
wicked hooks!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And he wears a Santa
hat between the horns on his head!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">IT WAS SANTA/SATAN!!!!!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He has risen once more!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He looks down at the
cage with a grin</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and says, “Why hello
there, you meat whore.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivnEWu48As2Tcydaz3A-GE2_tcDrbEIWlSuZcGomI2htZEs9xL1AgpH-OcrVPVa1kSn923tYgP73RiK-ZCLx_9IsUidtoTvu7tNHVD2ndQqbLrItwrnfNOZ_FqHiIWOljQsc6Vsfg3W8H7/s1600/2012-11-17_10-25-14_829.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivnEWu48As2Tcydaz3A-GE2_tcDrbEIWlSuZcGomI2htZEs9xL1AgpH-OcrVPVa1kSn923tYgP73RiK-ZCLx_9IsUidtoTvu7tNHVD2ndQqbLrItwrnfNOZ_FqHiIWOljQsc6Vsfg3W8H7/s640/2012-11-17_10-25-14_829.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“When he gets called into the next
brother-teacher conference,” I tell Otter, “I’m going to tell them that this
kind of thing is all your fault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
normal until I went gay for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ish.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Meat whore!” Otter gasps, tears
streaming down his cheeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s so
true!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The only reason my teachers call
you is because they don’t understand my level of intellect,” the Kid says.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep telling yourself that, Ty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s bound to come true one day.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It seems that my
mortal enemy,” Satan says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“could not live up to
expectations.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">All the world will be
vegetarians?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There seems to have been a slight
complication!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Santa!” Bear shrieks,
as he once again is fooled.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, Santa, I’ve been
such a good boy!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This year, I have so
many presents I would love!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Like how I still would
like an adult toy!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Oh, God, not this again,” I say,
burying my face in my hands.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What do you mean by adult toy?” Dom
asks the Kid, who leans over and whispers something in his ear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dom’s eyes widen as he looks at Otter and me
with a strange look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ew,” he says,
wrinkling his nose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why would you put
that up <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anywhere</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“CPS is so getting called back to
this house,” Otter says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yikes.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“My dear boy,” Satan
says with a grin.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I fear we’ve moved
beyond that. A sort of progression.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">No, now is not the time
for blow up dolls or rubber dongs.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now is the time for possession!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You see, when the Kid
cast me back to Hell</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">using the power of the
Vegetarian Club and his animal friends,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">it did something to my
immortal body.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But alas, not to
worry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have found my means to my end.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Uh, so, do you mind if
I get out of here?” Otter asks.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I mean, I wouldn’t
want to be in your way.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Trust me, I’m really a
bore, and I have tons of stuff to do.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So, like, I could
totally see you another day.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“You’d <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">leave</i> me to get possessed?” I snap at the jerk.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He shrugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Apparently, like, totally, I have stuff,
like, to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You got this.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you think Erica handles
dissolutions of civil unions?” I ask the Kid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He nods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Pretty sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Throw enough money at her, and I’ll bet she’ll do anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is an attorney***, after all.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">***</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This
does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is sure attorneys can be wonderful people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who
don’t have souls.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Nonsense, Otter,”
Satan says, waving jovially hello.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You can stay in this
cage, locked in Bear’s place!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After all, we can’t
have anyone warning those up above.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But don’t worry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t make too much of a mess of his face.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that, it
began! A demonic possession!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear opens his mouth to
shout for more selfish things,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and Satan shrinks down
and flies right in his mouth,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">like a bird taking
flight on a wing.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyRQdA35XSW30p-8E3ojNhqahrbgbjbNTSPXR6SJRZ098AioBATc0FGMT0OLCfQHiaPVGjEqI_PswTIRWi7kXPrVVhTPrgUDDqq9qacsV12ChuCqTZ7Fx950v_WuzAl1FBbF2nhQjVumT/s1600/2012-11-17_10-25-42_475.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyRQdA35XSW30p-8E3ojNhqahrbgbjbNTSPXR6SJRZ098AioBATc0FGMT0OLCfQHiaPVGjEqI_PswTIRWi7kXPrVVhTPrgUDDqq9qacsV12ChuCqTZ7Fx950v_WuzAl1FBbF2nhQjVumT/s640/2012-11-17_10-25-42_475.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“These pictures are very disturbing,
Kid,” I say as Dom hands me yet another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“How about we keep these here in the house and not show anyone any of
these ever?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Too afraid of my artistic abilities
becoming known to the world?” he asks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Er.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t think that’s quite it.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is over in just a
few seconds or so,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and when Bear opens his
eyes, they briefly flash red.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">One must almost feel
sympathy for the devil, however,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">being trapped inside
Papa Bear’s head.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Oh, ha, ha very funny!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">like</i> listening to me and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">further</i>
more—”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But somehow he is able
to manage,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as Satans/Santas are
prone to do.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because what is the
devil if not hella neurotic?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He and Bear probably stick
together like glue.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“At last!”
Bear/Satan/Santa says deeply.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“While this body may
not be the most tough,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I think it will work
out just fine!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After all, I remember
that Bear likes it a bit rough.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yeah,” Otter says
smugly. “I can attest to that quite well.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Though, I don’t know if
that is precisely the point.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It seems as if you are
still locked in the cage!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">How do you plan on
busting out of that joint?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Quite simply!” Satan
says, with a haughty little smirk.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s quite easier than
you think!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">In Bear’s normal voice,
Satan said, “Hey, Sweet thang!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Could you let me out of
here?” And then he laid out a devious wink!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Otter, it’s true, is
susceptible to Bear’s awkward charm,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and will easily (as
usual) answer his every desire.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So with that, Otter
reaches over and unlocks the cage.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Even if the being
inside Bear is a big fat liar.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Isn’t it awesome how I answer your
every desire?” Otter says, kissing my forehead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I desire you to make this poem stop
and never happen again,” I tell him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Okay, well maybe not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every</i> desire.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with only a few
seconds to pass</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear and Otter’s places
are switched!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Man,” Otter groans,
his hands on the bars.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’ll teach me the
next time I wanna get hitched.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And Santa/Bear/Satan
lets out a blood curdling chortle,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As he looks up toward
the surface with glee!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, Tyson! Oh, Kid!”
he shouts out.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I think I shall rise
above and break both your knees!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And far overhead,
walking the streets of Seafare,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">the Kid is in the
middle of petting a Christmas horse,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">when he hears a
maniacal cackle run through his head!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, no,” he whispers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“There’s a disturbance in the Vegetarian Force!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“The Vegetarian Force?” I
echo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Are you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">kidding</i> me?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” the Kid asks
innocently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s not like George Lucas
can sue me anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That jerk sold out
to Disney and now we’re going to have princesses singing about waiting for
their princes to come while holding light sabers!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What the hell is he talking about?”
I ask Dom.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh, you don’t want to know,” Dom
warns.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Trust me, if he gets going on
this, it will never end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t think
I’ve ever seen anyone type that much on an Internet message board before.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I mean, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i> George Lucas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Disney</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Are you out of your flipping Jar Jar Binks-creating <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mind</i>?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are going to be
Ewok parades at Epcot!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Wookiee’s on
ice!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And—”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I told you,” Dom groans.]</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">SIDE NOTE:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">How TJ Klune Feels about Disney buying the Star War Franchise:</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16x7Ubb84snlLh5CY9sZq81f8CzmY4n_KyLfU1z6gE65DqvCISMo4dLW05it1BgvTgvQmmlpMJnqpgpUVSjsrKCfjaoVAJ1dyvS2rze_MJs0okdr2lZfuM2cPe2Smz54cptkbJ4OegccF/s1600/2012-11-17_10-21-31_743.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16x7Ubb84snlLh5CY9sZq81f8CzmY4n_KyLfU1z6gE65DqvCISMo4dLW05it1BgvTgvQmmlpMJnqpgpUVSjsrKCfjaoVAJ1dyvS2rze_MJs0okdr2lZfuM2cPe2Smz54cptkbJ4OegccF/s640/2012-11-17_10-21-31_743.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Twenty minutes later,
after the Kid bitches about a new Star Wars trilogy by Disney (yes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THIS IS A REAL THING) coming to a theater
near you starting in 2015 that should</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">never ever happen</b>:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The ground begins to
shake, like an earthquake underneath.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">People start to scream,
to run, and to fret!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The earth splits open
wide, and buildings tumble down.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh,” the Kid says
wisely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I should have known this wasn’t
over yet.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And from the gaping
hole on Main Street</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There rises such a
fright!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A skinny, pasty white
figure of a man!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">IT WAS BEAR/SANTA/SANTAN
COMING TO DESTROY THIS NIGHT!!!!!!!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw15kACTm-PS-zW84p5z6RVvME8xVvuYLIUY9N1gYTMiH6AEZaEeuv2KXHA74iFMZmQ_-PCOzDjAzKyCrLppuNTWcgDA_D485kTi-0mJ5fa8d3qzg8hWX_Af8FIsi-WdBDBNhIxgWviUfL/s1600/2012-11-17_10-26-28_171.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw15kACTm-PS-zW84p5z6RVvME8xVvuYLIUY9N1gYTMiH6AEZaEeuv2KXHA74iFMZmQ_-PCOzDjAzKyCrLppuNTWcgDA_D485kTi-0mJ5fa8d3qzg8hWX_Af8FIsi-WdBDBNhIxgWviUfL/s640/2012-11-17_10-26-28_171.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But as we all know, as
these stories are told,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">our hero will rise, to
beat back the darkness!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">More dashing than Bond,
more powerful than Superman,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">he even looks better
than Captain Jack Harkness!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Who?” I ask.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Kid slaps his forehead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Do you not follow pop culture at <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all</i>?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Pop culture?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You mean like the Kardashians?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Kid bows his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Dear Jesus. How are you? I am fine. Please
strike Bear down for that last comment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You know why.”]</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But even someone as
debonair as the Kid</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">would stutter at this
sight of his possessed brother.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Satan!” he cries. “You
diabolical mastermind!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Not him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You had best find another!”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Ah, child,” Satan
coos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You find this form displeasing?</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I thought as much, but
fear not!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You won’t be alive long
enough to worry.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now come on, veggie
boy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give me all you got!”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid shakes off his
worry, and reaches behind his back,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And pulls out the
legendary Vegetarian Club!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I beat you once,” he
snarls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I can beat you again!”</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Aye,” Satan says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But isn’t that the rub?</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You see, little
cretin, you’ve grown slack in your vegetarian message.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">While you cavorted
around the earth, preaching wisdom and receiving praise,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’ve only grown every
stronger in the pits of Hell.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now, you shall bear
witness to the true END OF DAYS!”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As a storyteller, I
wish that I could tell you,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that all Satan’s
bravado is for naught.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That the Kid defeats
him quite quickly.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But that’s not the type
of story you’ve sought.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The vegetarian is brave,
yes, as all vegetarians are.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He leaps through the
air, the Vegetarian club raised over his head!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The plan is quite
simple, really! Foolproof! Amazing!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Kick Satan’s ass again
and again and this time, make sure he’s dead!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">O, alas!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is not quite what happens.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The club whips through
the air with a whistle that is grand!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But right before he
smashes his demonic Christmas looking brother in the mouth,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear/Santa/Satan stops
the Club’s descent with a single hand!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEqM8nyS9EsVLlbRi1cXEBQQiOxw92pp7ozLhP60FImLqD6yFYN_rXHaZjdHVPov9cWqYD61Ci2XZCkwuMYlwZAqxNCms7rH3GN7jxrkLYzSkijAvzf2zcadasdcMZaBfnB22VQb3bdQZP/s1600/2012-11-17_10-27-01_376.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEqM8nyS9EsVLlbRi1cXEBQQiOxw92pp7ozLhP60FImLqD6yFYN_rXHaZjdHVPov9cWqYD61Ci2XZCkwuMYlwZAqxNCms7rH3GN7jxrkLYzSkijAvzf2zcadasdcMZaBfnB22VQb3bdQZP/s640/2012-11-17_10-27-01_376.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“I. Am. So. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Awesome,</i>” I crow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh, you’re possessed by Satan,”
Otter reminds me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That is pretty much
the opposite of awesome.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, it’s still <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">kind of</i> awesome.”]</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid stops frozen,
unable to believe what he sees.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Satan lashes his hand
out, knocking the boy wonder back!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid lands fifty
feet away, and rises from the ground</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">in time to see Satan
break the Club over his knee with a resounding CRACK!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The disturbance in the
Vegetarian Force grows stronger</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as the energy from the
Club rushes out.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It explodes across the
tiny kingdom of Seafare.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And for the first time
in a very long time, the Kid is filled with doubt.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For who is he really,
but just a little boy?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He’s been lost before,
and it seems sometimes he’ll never be found.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And there’s a single
moment when he wonders if that will always be true.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That there will always
be an Ocean there for which he could drown.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He’s different, he
knows, different than most of the other kids.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And there are times
that he wishes it wasn’t always this way.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That maybe, every once
in a while, he could just be normal.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That he could just be a
kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just play.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[I want to say something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Oh, God, how my heart hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
I don’t know what would make this okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t know anything I could do to make him okay.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But then the Kid
remembers something that he has kept secret.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That when the world
seems to be at its most dark and gray,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">he might just have one
simple solace, one place to turn.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And to her, always to
her, he begins to pray.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Mrs., P,” he
whispers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“If you could hear me now.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God, how I miss you so.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I could really use your
help right now.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And all around him
begin to drop little flecks of snow.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Ty—” I croak out, watching as a
tear slides down his cheek.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Otter grabs
my hand and shakes his head just once and pulls me back into him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look on as Dom wraps his arm around my
little brother’s shoulders and leans down, putting his chin on the Kid’s head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For a moment, his little hands tremble
and the papers rattle in the quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
tries to start once again, but his voice catches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He clears his throat and nods his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And starts again.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">While the Devil laughs,
feeling so very triumphant,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The tiny flecks of ice
crystal begin to swirl and form.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And out of the spinning
white mass a beautiful angel appears,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">made almost whole by
the sudden winter storm.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid looks up from
his position on his knees,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and sees into kind eyes
the one person he misses the most.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She chuckles kindly
down at him, reaching out to cup his face.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She says, “You bet your
sweet ass I’d come back as a ghost.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I miss you every day,”
he says to the face he adores as his voice breaks.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I thought I would be
okay, but sometimes it’s just all too much.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She laughs quietly and
says, “Those we love are never truly gone, my boy.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I would have thought
that, from me, you would have learned as such.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I suppose that I try,”
he admits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Thought I don’t always
succeed.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I think that I thought
I could be stronger than I truly would be.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Fear not, my Kid,”
Mrs. P. smiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I will help to show you
the way.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that, in this
world, you can truly be free.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She leans forward till
her lips are near his ear.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He takes in a deep
breath of her, and it’s like lilacs, softly sweet.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She whispers the secret
of Christmas to him quietly,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and then with her strong,
lovely arms, helps lift him to his feet.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You understand now,
Ty?” she asks, stroking his hair.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I think so,” he says
slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s like knowing you’ll never
be far.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because the strength
doesn’t come from just one person.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It comes from all of
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s from all of us because this is
who we are.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She tilts back her head
and lets out such a laugh!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s a sound that
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You couldn’t be more
goddamn, right,” she says with a grin.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Now, Ty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do what you do best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kick the Devil’s ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Send him back to hell.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[I can’t help the watery bark of
laughter that comes out because in his words, I can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hear</i> her, knowing that is exactly something she would have
said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus, how could I not have known
this was hitting him as hard as it is?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He’d bounced back so much that I thought it miraculous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has it been like this for him the whole time?
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I pull away from Otter and this
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Its minutes later that I sit with
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chin on the top of his head and only a moment passes before Otter curls himself
around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He kisses my wet cheek and
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I look up and see Dom standing a few
feet away, looking unsure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even
have to think when I raise my hand out to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He watches me for a moment, then nods and reaches out and grasps my
hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pull him toward us and he sits
at my side, resting his hand on the Kid’s knee.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Finish it, honey,” I tell my
brother quietly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Kick the Devil’s
ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Send him back to hell.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid nods up to her
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’ll do what you said,
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thank you for all that
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I promise you I’ll make
something of myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just you wait and
see.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She laughs again and
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Honestly,” she says,
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now end the Devil’s
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Oh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I have another surprise for you, I must
confess.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The eagles and hawks
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">in a snarling, crying
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">They rocket towards the
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and somewhere in the
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The birds attack Satan
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and he cries out in
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Now,” the Christmas
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“it’s time we put this
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And around her rises up
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when the world was young,” she says.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Before we had
forgotten all there was to know.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“A great beast arose
from the darkest of night,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And brought with it a
destructive hoard.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But there was one who
rose to stop them all.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that, the snow
froze and formed into a beautiful sword.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Next year,” I tell the Kid, “you
should probably just have it be a mega death ray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems like it would be easier than a club or
a sword.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe even like a nuclear bomb
bazooka or something.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Next year?” the Kid asks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can hear the smile in his voice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I shrug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Figure this will be tradition, you know?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He tilts his head back and kisses my
chin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yeah,” he says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Tradition.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“The great Vegetarian
Sword,” the Kid gasps.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“A legend, if there
ever a legend was.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Not legend, not myth,”
Mrs. Paquinn says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But fact.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And it is here for
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you know what it does?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It can bring balance
to the world,” the Kid says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">watching more birds
descend from the surrounding trees.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It is order in the
chaos, a resolution to all the dark.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It can help bring the
evil to its knees.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’re damn right it
will,” Mrs. P says with a cackle.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And of the devil, this
world will be rid.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And it’s been waiting
for one such as you.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Someone brave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Someone like you, my Kid.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">She hands him the sword
and within his own depths,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">he hears an aching song
being sung in his heart.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Unable to keep the
tears from his eyes, he says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“If I take this from
you, will we have to part?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His Christmas Angel
smiles, one so familiar that it’s like home.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Her hand reaches out
and caresses his cheek.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Yes,” she says
quietly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“But just for now.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It’s time for you to
rise, child, to protect those that are meek.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Can I truly be brave
enough?” he asks,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">testing the weight of
the sword in his hand.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It seems like there
are times when your best is never enough,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that all that is
against you is much too grand.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That’s life,” she
says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And that’s the way it will always
be.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There are times it will
feel like you are sliced and scarred.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I know you, I know
your heart. What you will be.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Tyson, remember this: I
know who you are.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that, the snow
swirls up again,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and the bells ring
louder, as the ice surrounds her.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Please don’t go!” the
Kid cries.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But her figure has
already begun to blur.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Tyson,” she says, her
voice coming faint.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Listen now, for the
words I say are true.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It matters not where I
am, and if we are a part,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because I will always
be with you.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that she
fades, leaving the Kid in the falling snow.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The weight of the sword
pulling him down.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He thinks on it for
just a moment, her words;</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">then, with all that he
has, he pushes himself up from the ground.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“She’s right,” he says
to himself, looking down the sword.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“She’s always right,
and that’s a place to start.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For it’s now always
about what you can accomplish,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">but what it is that
beats in your heart.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He raises his gaze, to
the ruins around him,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">the Devil squawking as
the birds fly him by.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know what?” the
Kid says, having had enough.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s time to end this
right here and now. Fuck this guy!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Seriously?” I sigh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why do you always have to say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuck</i>? ”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sometimes,” he says seriously,
“there is no better word to say what you truly mean.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, trying explaining that to
your teachers,” I grumble.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fuck ‘em,” Otter says, obviously
not helping in the slightest.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And as if the
Vegetarian Sword has given him renewed strength,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He raises if far above
his head.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You want to come to my
town?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take over my brother?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">I’m about to stab your
ass dead!” </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And from far and wide,
his animal friends hear his cry.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And the world over they
flash out of sight.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And reappear right here
in Seafare!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">O, glorious day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>O, glorious night!</span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i> </i>[“The animals can teleport now?”
Otter asks in disbelief, though I don’t know why he’s picked that specific
event to find disbelieving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>By.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Satan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s the power of the Vegetarian
Sword,” the Kid explains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s in tune
with the frequencies of all the animals in the world and gives them
teleportation abilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s really
quite interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a matter of fact,
I’ve this forty page back story on the sword if you really want to hear it,
which by the tone of your voice, it sounds like you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s got—”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah,” I interrupt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Let’s just finish one masterpiece before
thinking of starting another.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There were cheetahs and
buffaloes and elephants.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And bears and otters
and rattlesnakes of diamondback!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And wolves and monkeys
and lions and hippos.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And of course, stepping
in front of them all, the mighty yak!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“What’s a yak?” Dom asks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“A really hairy cow,” the rest of us
intone, obviously experienced from last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though, to be honest, I don’t know what that says about us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try not to think about it too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One doesn’t want to wonder how yak experts
are treated in the real world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They drink the milk of the yak in
Siberia,” Otter tells Dom, who widens his eyes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I still don’t think you know
anything about Siberia,” I mutter.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The birds fly away from
the Devil</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and return to soar
above their animal friends.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It looks like your
time is up!” the Kid shouts.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Release my brother for
this is your end!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“My end?” the Devil
laughs, wipe bird poop off his face.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“This is merely the
beginning, you’ll see!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But remember this,
should you try and fight:</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">if I go back down to
Hell again, I’m taking your brother with me!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This gives the Kid
pause, as it rightly should.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After all, this just
isn’t anyone: it was his brother.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He thinks real hard of
the consequences at hand,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and wonders fleetingly
if Bear could be replaced by another.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Hey!” I shout, slightly
wounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I am to goddamn important to
be replaced!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Silence from all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I really hate you guys sometimes,”
I grumble, even as they start to snicker.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But it is a fleeting
thought, and brief it will be.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because there is no one
in the world quite like Bear.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I mean, really, who else
has quite the neurosis of he,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">hidden deeply buried
under that mop of thinning hair?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">[“Shouldn’t have ruined my shirt,”
the Kid says with a scowl.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i> going to let that go?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
bought you a new one!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">billion</i> new ones!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He taps his forehead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Loooooooooong</i>
memory, Papa Bear.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid knows that
without his big brother,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">there would be no Kid
for the world to love.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because without someone
like his badass brother,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">the world would be a
reasonably darker place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sort of.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Gee. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid brandishes the
sword for the Devil to see,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and watches in
amusement as the Devil’s eyes go wide.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“That will always be
your downfall,” the Kid says.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Your gross
miscalculation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your damnable pride.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The animals around Ty
chuff and growl,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">ready to be on the
attack, on the hunt.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s time to go kick
some ass,” he tells them.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Let’s go take care of
this stupid cu—</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Yeah, you finish that sentence,
you’re grounded for a week,” I tell him.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I bet E. E. Cummings or Emily
Dickinson never got censored,” he snaps.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t care what your classmates
get to do,” I remind him, assuming he’s talking about other kids in his
class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who the fuck names their kid E.E.
anyway?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>All Ty does in response is groan and
shake his head.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">His animal friends roar
with such a fright</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as one by one, the
residents of Seafare poke out their heads.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“People of my town!”
the boy genius cries.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s time to lay your
fears to rest!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Put ‘em to bed!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I made you a promise,
lo many months ago.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That if you became
vegetarian I would protect you,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that I would make this
world a safer place.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And that is </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">exactly<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> what I’m gonna do.”</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that he
charges, the Vegetarian sword held high.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And racing all around
him, came his animals by his side.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It is a glorious sight,
one for all time!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">To bring about
momentous change, to turn the dark tide!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLSHIU-hV9eicepCsGYzwAFmW3WqBZQtSsbVbpY4QPiCiNaKihUQQKk9cyADEeizxLVIOOH3LnLmDENKmnFwlJJBmdowdrTZgw62VT4hDWZNH12TDmjhdF0SXckoX71I-hvZ7kvAAY9Sm/s1600/2012-11-17_10-27-35_362.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTLSHIU-hV9eicepCsGYzwAFmW3WqBZQtSsbVbpY4QPiCiNaKihUQQKk9cyADEeizxLVIOOH3LnLmDENKmnFwlJJBmdowdrTZgw62VT4hDWZNH12TDmjhdF0SXckoX71I-hvZ7kvAAY9Sm/s640/2012-11-17_10-27-35_362.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Your pictures are… neat,” I say as
Dom hands me another one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t even
tell if I’m holding it upside down or not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re really good with
compliments,” the Kid says drily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Thanks for being so super awesome and stuff.”]</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The battle that follows
is one for the ages</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">like the one that had
come before.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I shan’t repeat all
that happens here,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">because everyone knows
bloody battles are such a bore.</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJR48ang4iuLVKdwwDfkpEQlc9P5L6W1_246xmIMqocvhaT-RFbuDwdEN4S_wVLPZEGzb749bQN-bdDS8U6-i9oIGbOMig-GQ8MkYgb-spmY6s7KVj6fgyXPWXy5Sdd3cPJwanz-Vi5ZoV/s1600/2012-11-17_10-28-06_972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJR48ang4iuLVKdwwDfkpEQlc9P5L6W1_246xmIMqocvhaT-RFbuDwdEN4S_wVLPZEGzb749bQN-bdDS8U6-i9oIGbOMig-GQ8MkYgb-spmY6s7KVj6fgyXPWXy5Sdd3cPJwanz-Vi5ZoV/s640/2012-11-17_10-28-06_972.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“You’re weaseling out of the big
battle scene <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">again</i>?” Otter asks
incredulously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“That’s like eating the
best meal you’ve ever had only to find out at the end you were eating baby
horses the whole time.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all stare at him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I like big battle scenes,” he
grumbles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry,” the Kid says with a
shrug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ran over budget and had to cut
some parts out.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Budget?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What budget?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He shrugs again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yeah, okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That was a lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just got bored
and didn’t want to write anymore.”]</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When the smoke clears,
there is through the dust,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">a scene of such beauty
and power.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For there stands the
Kid and his animal friends,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">up above
Bear/Santa/Satan who does nothing but cower!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Vegetarian sword
held high,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">the Kid looks down at
the Devil with sadness.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know,” he says
wisely, for how could he not be?</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You might be an okay
guy if you gave up your badness.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Never,” Satan gasps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“As long as there is you,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I swear there will
always be one such as me.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Here to take away the
true meaning of Christmas:</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that it means nothing
without family.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Give me back my
brother,” the Kid says,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And I’ll consider
letting you go this one time.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">If you don’t I’ll hunt
you until the End of Days</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And your head shall be
mine.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’ll let me go?” the
Devil asks, a glint in his eye.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Your brother means
that much to you?</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because you know what
will happen if you let me go.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You know what I’ll plan
to do.”</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He may not be the
smartest,” the Kid says.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And he may overthink
things way too much.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But there’s no one in
the world like me brother,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and from this day on,
I’ll treat him as such.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Devil uses Bear’s
mouth to smile,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">a look that twists up
in ferocious glee.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Ah, my child,” the
Devil says,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“You know not what you
ask of me.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">does
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know, but he would ask still the same,</i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">for who could he save
if not Bear?</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’ll be here no matter
what,” he says quietly,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“and I’ll take you on,
no matter if I’m worse for wear.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Devil tilts Bear’s
head back and laughs.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Then I accept,” he exclaims.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s a deal!</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I promise you that
come next Christmas,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">it will be you that
will kneel.”</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The ground begins to
shake roughly,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and Bear’s mouth opens
wide.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Black smoke that reeks
of sulfur pours out,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">but I have a secret I
must confide!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqZU7EEgWlfjM9XJ632FHZ0I5Vynwhi-krkYiW3r4lJ4yFKEA2a8pUo2m7UvajHyF9YmSLOKB4EEwVAwIZysra_oT6LHvoTaXmQxMb7VUr6uXhO40e-6k8DvN5RSRV6o6yiGUDukHribE6/s1600/2012-11-17_10-28-31_406.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqZU7EEgWlfjM9XJ632FHZ0I5Vynwhi-krkYiW3r4lJ4yFKEA2a8pUo2m7UvajHyF9YmSLOKB4EEwVAwIZysra_oT6LHvoTaXmQxMb7VUr6uXhO40e-6k8DvN5RSRV6o6yiGUDukHribE6/s640/2012-11-17_10-28-31_406.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That hero of this
story, that supremely intelligent boy?</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He knew this might
happen, so he’d hatched a plan,</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to ensure the Devil
could never harm another.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He called upon his best
friend, such a stupendous man!</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Now, Dom, now!” the
Kid cries, giving the signal.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And out steps Dom,
holding the Good Book.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He begins to mutter in
Latin,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">or some other
gobbledy-gook.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The sulfurous black
smoke shakes and shrieks</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as it flickered about
amongst the frost.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Otter climbed out of
the hole in the ground and says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Hey, that’s kind of
like from the TV show Lost.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“I spend the entire time
underground and only reappear to make a reference to a stupid TV show that only
you and your fellow message board nerds cared about?” Otter says, pouting.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re a stupid TV show,” the Kid
retorts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That wasn’t as insulting as you
think it was,” I tell him.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As Dom speaks Latin,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Satan Smoke Monster
starts to dissipate.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with a shriek that
can be heard for miles,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Devil finally
succumbs to his eternal fate.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear collapses to his
knees, bowing his head low.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid rushes over, to
make sure his soul has not been taken.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Kid, oh Ty,” Bear
whispers quietly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I just have one
question.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Can you please go get
me four strips of bacon?”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“You know, I don’t even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">like</i> bacon that much,” I say, throwing
my hands up in the air.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I couldn’t find words that rhymed
with sausage,” the Kid explains, as if that makes everything okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But Dom gets to come in and be all
badass and exorcise me and the first words out of my mouth are about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bacon</i>?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> pretty badass,” Dom agrees with a smirk.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“No more bacon for
you,” the Kid says,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And from around him
comes sounds of life around the town.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He raises his voices
and says, “No more bacon for all!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You saw what rose up
out of the ground!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I warned you once, on
Christmas last year,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">what would happen if
you chose to eat meat!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I said the Devil could
rise again!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Right out from
underneath your feet!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I’ll warn you again,
and pray it the last time,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">for the fate of the
world may depend on what you choose.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I hope it will be for
the last time.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Think about what it is
you could all lose.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Is it me or is this way more
preachy than last time?” I ask Otter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s just you,” the Kid says before
Otter can reply.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I promise,” Bear says,
standing upright.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I promise I’ll give up
meat forever.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I promise I’ll do
whatever you say, if you promise</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to make me the royal
Queen of this endeavor.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Then the No Meat Queen
you shall be!” the Kid cries,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and the town of Seafare
applauds his decree!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with a giggle and a
princessy wave,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Bear accepts his
position in this town by the sea.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No Meat Queen?</i>” I growl at the Kid above Otter’s laughter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re already a gay,” the Kid
says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I didn’t think it too much a
stretch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only you can’t use the name
Minerva Fox.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i> queen name.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t have to worry about that, I’m
sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wrap it up, Kid.]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Otter comes over and
gives his queen a kiss</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and it’s gross and
awkward and none to neat.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Don’t worry,
honey-pie,” Otter whispers to Bear.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Forget the bacon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll fill you with my other meat.”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tyson James Thompson!</i>”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Oh, Otter,” Bear the
Queen says with a breathy sigh.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“I wouldn’t have it any
other way.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As a matter of fact, do
with me what you will.<br />
Because for you on certain bookshelves, I am a gay!”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>[“Ha!” Otter laughs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“References.”]</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And we’ll leave them
now, all mushy and dumb,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">because that’s all apparently
grownups really do.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But I suppose that’s
okay, if you like that sort of thing.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">At least they won’t eat
anything anymore that goes moo.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And as for the
Kid?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, again it is done,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">that all the town
around him cries out in joy his name.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For he and his best
friend in all the world Dom,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">have beaten the Devil
at his very own game.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Do you really think
he’s gone?” Dom asks.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“He promised to come
back, after all.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The Kid takes in a deep
breath and lets it out slow.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“We’ll be here,” he
says, “to make sure he falls.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What did she whisper
to you?” Dom asks,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">and there is no
question as to who “she”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>would be.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It was the secret of
Christmas,” the Kid says softly.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“And she revealed it to
me.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“She told me that
people focus on material things,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">as they usually do
around this time of year.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That they might not
know the real reason we have,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to be holding each
other near.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“What’s the real
reason, then?” Dom asks.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“It’s really quite
simple,” the Kid says happily.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Family is nothing
without one another.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">“Without them and you,
there would be no me.”</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And with that we’ll
leave them now,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">knowing it is for </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">family<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> we must always fight.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Merry a few days before
Christmas,</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And to all a good
night!</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">*****</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Its a few hours later, and the Kid
and I still sit in the living room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dom
has gone home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Otter up to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t been ready to let go of Ty just
yet, and he hasn’t yet tried to move from my lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My chin is on his forehead as the fire dances
in front of us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Derrick?” he asks quietly, speaking
for the first time in a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hasn’t
used my real name in a while, and I know he’s about to ask me one of his Very
Important Questions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, Ty?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you… do you think she heard
me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, what I said about her?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s no question as to who he
means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Yeah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And you think she’s happy?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, Ty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The happiest.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He sighs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I love you, you know?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you know I love you too?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“With your whole heart?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“With my whole heart.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you… do you think we’ll be
okay?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He plays with my fingers ever so gently.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, Kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You and me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Otter and Dom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re gonna be
okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this is something I choose to believe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He’s quiet for a moment longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, “Merry Christmas, Papa Bear.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hold him close and once again
thank whoever listens to us all for giving me what is mine.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Thank you.</i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">The End<i> </i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span>
TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2854697790604704675.post-80403761745736063932012-10-27T10:47:00.000-07:002012-10-27T22:01:21.998-07:00The Shenanigans of GRL 2012<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So,
in case you couldn’t tell by the overabundance of posts regarding the matter,
GayRomLit 2012 was held in Albuquerque NM last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I attended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, there were shenanigans of the highest
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tears and hickies and tattoos and gross strippers and carpel tunnel syndrome
and alcohol and getting stuck in elevators and ghosts and more alcohol and
legitimate psychos and books and authors and readers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so much, much more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s some of my highlights over the course
of the week.</span></div>
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flying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it helped that for some
random reason, I was upgraded to first class both to and from GRL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you know you can drink for free in first
class?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as you want? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--In
my layover in Las Vegas, I made friends with a Korean business man named Fong
(Phong? Carl?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had bloody Mary’s
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--Anne
Tenino was the first person I met at GRL after she walked up to me and
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Blurb
for Tell Me It’s Real (February 2013):</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_493">
<i>Do you believe in love at first sight?</i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal">
<i> </i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_404">
<i><span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1351357422_0">Paul Auster</span>
sure doesn't. As a matter of fact, Paul doesn't believe in much at
all. He’s slightly overweight, just turned thirty, and his best
features are his acerbic wit and the color commentary he provides at
life as it passes him
by. His closest friends are a two-legged dog named Wheels and a
quasi-bipolar drag queen named Helena Handbasket. He works a dead end
job in a cubicle that is sucking his soul dry. His parents are nagging
him to settle down with a nice boy and his grandmother's
homophobic parrot keeps insulting him to the point Paul is pretty sure
he's going to wring that stupid bird's neck. He’s stuck in a
monotonous routine that he doesn’t know how to escape.</i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_502">
<i> </i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_503">
<i>Enter Vince Taylor.</i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_504">
<i> </i></div>
<div class="yiv1591526090MsoNormal" id="yui_3_7_2_10_1351298836716_505">
<i>Vince
is everything Paul is not: sexy, confident, and dumber than the
proverbial box of rocks. And for some strange, astonishing reason,
Vince begins to pursue Paul relentlessly. Paul thinks that Vince is
playing a trick on him because
there is no way someone like Vince would want someone like him. It's
not until he hits Vince with his car in a completely non-intentional
if-he-died-it'd-only-be-manslaughter kind of way that he realizes that
maybe Vince isn't being totally insane with his
declarations of being half-way in love with Paul already. The only
thing blocking Paul from believing in Vince is himself, and that is one
obstacle Paul can't quite seem to overcome. When tragedy strikes
Vince's family, Paul must find the courage to put
aside any notions he may have about himself and stand next to the man
who thinks he's perfect just the way he is</i>.</div>
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<br /></div>
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At once an exploration of grief and faith, Into This River I Drown is one man's
journey into the secrets of his father and discovering the strength to believe
in the impossible.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Five years ago, Benji Green lost his
beloved father, Big Eddie, who drowned when his truck crashed into a
river. All called it an accident, but Benji thought it more.
However, even years later, he is buried deep in his grief, throwing himself
into taking over Big Eddie's convenience store in the small town of Roseland,
Oregon. Surrounded by his mother and three aunts, he lives day by day,
struggling to keep his head above water.</div>
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But Roseland is no ordinary place.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;">With ever-increasing dreams of his father's
death and waking visions of feathers on the surface of a river, Benji's
definition of reality is starting to bend. He thinks himself haunted, but
whether by ghosts or memories, he can no longer tell. It's not until the
impossible happens and a man falls from the sky and leaves the burning imprint
of wings on the ground that he begins to understand that the world around him
is more mysterious than he could have possibly imagined. It's also more
dangerous, as forces beyond anyone's control are descending on Roseland,
revealing long hidden truths about friends, family, and the man named Calliel
who Benji is finding he can no longer live without</span>.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--My
GRL Posse: SJD Peterson, Scotty Cade (and his lovely husband), Stacey, Amanda,
Lannie, The Canadian, Ely, Erika Abi Roux, and, of course, Eric Arvin.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--Speaking of Erika, there is no way I could have survived the trip without her. She totally played the thankless role of my assistant. Without her, I would not have known where I needed to be, who I was supposed to be talking to, or even how to walk on my own. She fucking ROCKS.</span></div>
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I heard constantly: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Whoever:
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--But,
before you judge me harshly, know this: Eric Arvin doesn’t know how to open
pens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not fucking kidding you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sat there for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">minutes</i> trying to click open a pen that instead needed to be
uncapped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between him and I, I think the
whole human race went down a few IQ points.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m surprised we weren’t drooling in each other’s presence by the end of
the trip (and no, not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> way
either—get your mind out of the gutter; well, until we get towards the end of
this post and I shove your mind right back into the gutter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s called a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">teaser</i>.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--Dreamspinner
sold out of my books they brought to their table in two minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>TWO MINUTES.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Holy Hannah Montana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ones I
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--That
moment when the doors open up so readers can come meet the authors and get
books signed and someone comes to my table and I look down to autograph their
book and look back up again only to see thirty people now standing in line to
meet me, well… that moment was insanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I must have made an “oh my crap” face because everyone started laughing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--I signed boobies:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--Apparently,
someone figured out I was the most photographed author at GRL which is
surprising since normally I’m not photogenic in the slightest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I usually end up looking like I am
uncomfortably snarling at the camera in any picture I take.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So please, don’t let all the photos you’ve
seen fool you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For all those that are
“good” there are ones that I have threatened the photographer with death if
they are ever released.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is one in
particular that shows me looking like a deer caught in the headlights that
literally makes anyone who sees it howl with laughter. That picture will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> see the light of day so help me
God.</span></div>
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moment:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCtYkRRs-rdW2J0Gi_z87xB-DfHVMJ8fcGd3Xi_hWtktYm2pXlTiVduXij2845R_Zlh16VW7F7LcLfsuYHIN1OyACL_N_kDjvXb8kCjMA1L9O2hPGj4REm0AL3dEYXtN0TiXYP80zsa6LU/s1600/Tattoo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCtYkRRs-rdW2J0Gi_z87xB-DfHVMJ8fcGd3Xi_hWtktYm2pXlTiVduXij2845R_Zlh16VW7F7LcLfsuYHIN1OyACL_N_kDjvXb8kCjMA1L9O2hPGj4REm0AL3dEYXtN0TiXYP80zsa6LU/s320/Tattoo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">Which led to this (nerd points if you know what this is):</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">(and yes, I know it is small, but it still hurt like a motherfucker!!) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> --Jo
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nickel slots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn you both straight to
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--Abi
Roux dives at elevators to keep them open, only to sacrifice her body in the
process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks, Abi, for being so
selfless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next time, wait for another
elevator.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--The
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--Kaje
Harper promised to sing with me at karaoke next year (and don’t let her tell
you otherwise because she’s lying!).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--JP
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">--I
drank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And got maybe six hours sleep total.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know how I stayed upright but I
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didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t my fault I was
stumbling at any point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was because
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earthquakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That only I could feel.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--Damon
Suede licked my face:</span></div>
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directed at my person more than after people started figuring things out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not like it was that hard to figure out:
Arvin pretty much jumped my bones in front of everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hey, Arvin!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">--And
finally, of course, comes to the end, the burning questions that people seem to
have about Arvin and me (BTW, who ever thought of the name Klarvin needs to be
given a medal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We laughed our asses off
at that).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, what happened?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well… a good boy doesn’t kiss and tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffice to say, there isn’t anyone quite like
Eric that I’ve met before and it was a bit rough after spending four days
wrapped up in him only to realize that we live on opposite sides of the
country.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That part sucked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And for a moment there, due to a mix up, we got separated at the airport
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minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we connected in the end,
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">GRL
2012 was the first time I’d ever gotten to go out and meet readers and other
authors face to face and it was an amazing experience, one that I will be doing
again next year in Atlanta for GRL 2013.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you couldn’t make it this year, do your damn best to make sure you
can go next year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise you, it’s completely worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> To all the readers who I met, thank you for making my first time one of the best times of my life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">TJ</span></div>
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TJ Klunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14147829025709977465noreply@blogger.com17